


Codeword Clearance

by Mettespo



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: AU, Angst/Drama, F/M, Friendship AND MORE, Love, Partly in canon, S02x06 - 09, basically smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:36:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6758053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mettespo/pseuds/Mettespo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will and Mac used to have a way to signal each other that they needed time alone with the other person to decompress. Sometime around 'Operation Genoa' Mac gives Will their signal, but she doesn’t know how Will is going to respond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stressed Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story after a prompt from lilamermaid (see summary) which really has intrigued me for a while now. Having started with some smut in another story I thought this might be an opportunity to tackle this idea and practice my smut-writing at the same time – So please consider yourself warned... ;-)  
> Still pretty nervous about it though, so any (constructive) criticism is more than welcome.
> 
> Partly in canon, but mostly AU.  
> Starting during 2x06, but I am playing a little with the timeline. So e.g. I have Will's break-up with Nina (which is only mentioned peripherally anyway) take place a few weeks earlier than in canon and might be drawing out some other events.

**Stressed Out  
**

„I could really use a cup of Joe.“

Will, sitting at his anchor desk, froze for a moment before his head slowly went up and he unbelievingly stared into the camera. Did Mac seriously just...?

They were half way through the commercial break after the B-block and he was sure he must have misunderstood. It wasn't by far the first time he was cursing that he couldn't look into the control room from his desk, but definitely one of the most important ones. Did he _really_ just hear Mac asking for a cup of Joe?

Back during their previous relationship they had been using this phrase as a code, signaling the other when they needed to meet to unwind after a long, stressful day.  
In the beginning, when they still had separate apartments it had meant that the one putting out the word was expecting the other to come by at night. Later, after they had moved in together, usage became rarer, usually to let the other know that a passionate night was in store. Or, if the word _'now'_ was included, that they really had to meet _right_ _now_ , during the workday, be it for an urgent matter to discuss or for a quickie in some corner of the building, the latter frankly becoming a lot easier once Will got his first office with an en-suite bathroom...

He remembered that they had spent hours trying to come up with the perfect catchphrase – A normal word or sentence that could be used unobtrusively around others, but nothing they would usually say to avoid any confusion.

After lots of snickering and chuckling they had finally decided on _'a cup of Joe'_ , which Will couldn't recall having ever used before in his life and Mac definitely neither. Still, if someone overhearing them would wonder about their choice of words, they would probably just shrug it off, in Mac's case maybe suspecting that she'd finally picked up some real American slang.

But why the hell would Mac use their codeword now?  
Did she just want to tease him, or didn't she even think about it and was asking one of the staffers to actually bring her a cup of coffee? Or did she really...? If he could only see her face!

„Thirty seconds back.“ Will startled and tried to concentrate on the upcoming block. Mac's voice in his ear sounded like always and there was no awkwardness or hesitation in anything she said during the segments. Finally the C-block was over and Will couldn't refrain from following up. „So, did you have your coffee yet?“

Mac stayed silent for a few seconds and swallowed hard before she answered. This was her chance to back out, to pretend she had never said the words, but then she heard herself say „Not yet... I'm hoping to get one after the show.“

Will looked up into the camera, but Mac couldn't quite read his expression. She was only hoping that he'd understood. Will on the other hand was sure now that Mac wanted him to come over after the show, and his mind started swirling.

He knew that Mac had been through a rough few weeks with the every day work for the show and the planning and execution of the election campaign coverage. Also there was this one story he hadn't been included in up to now, so that he could be an impartial member of the final Red Team later, but he knew that a number of staffers, including Mac, were working on it every spare minute they've got. All this was starting to take its toll on her, which could be an explanation for her need to simply relax, but he would _never_ have expected her to use their well-tested catchphrase.

Now he just needed to figure out if he really should be getting into this. His first reaction had been _'What the hell...? We can't do that!'_ , but the more he thought about it...

The physical part would definitely not be a problem. He had been attracted to Mac since the moment he'd first laid eyes on her, and during all this time that had never changed. He could actually already feel himself getting hard just thinking about the possibilitiy of being with her again.

But he had also broken up with Nina only a while ago, and ever since he had started seeing her his dealings with Mac had been... strained, to say the least. The tension between them had gone down after that desastruous morning show and the following break-up, but they certainly weren't back yet where they had already been before this unfortunate... well... _episode._ And they surely hadn't figured out any of the other shit that had been tainting their relationship for the last years.

 _Fuck!_ What should he do?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Mac had nervously gone home directly after the broadcast without going through the night's show for flaws and things that had gone well in preparation for tomorrow's first meeting as she usually did. She knew that Jerry and some of the others had stayed behind for more research on Operation Genoa and felt bad about herself leaving, but she just couldn't tonight.

She was exhausted, had been for weeks now. Her work load was heavy on normal days already, but with the upcoming presidential election in November and all the planning that was involved to cover the campaigns as well as the Genoa story they were researching, most mornings she had been coming in to work around six and didn't leave before midnight without a minute to spare in between.

She was literally on her last legs and she desperately needed to come down, get her head away from graphics and statistics and political crises and economic crises and sarin gas and presidential campaigns and whatever the fuck else was going on, at least for a few hours. She finally needed to get a good night's rest for a change, but recently she had been so agitated, going over everything that still needed to be done in her head, that she mostly hadn't gotten more than a couple hours of sleep at night during the last weeks.  
If she could only drive all work-related thoughts from her head for a change and get rid of all the tension in her body, she might be able to relax enough to get some rest.

That was why she had thought of the tactic Will and she had used in the past.  
She _knew_ it was a stupid idea, but she had tried all other methods to relax that came to her mind, from taking a hot bath with essential oils supposed to calm a person down to yoga, herbal teas or simply a couple glasses of wine or hot chocolate. Hell, desperate as she was she had even tried _counting sheep_ , but nothing had helped.  
She definitely didn't want to start on pills, being too afraid of losing control, and by now the only other method that she could think of was mind-blowing sex. Not being into one night stands though, Will, finally having dumped Nina, seemed to be her only option...

It had taken her several days to get her courage up to use their catchphrase, but only tonight, feeling like she was walking on an edge and about to fall down, she had finally had the nerve to do it, encouraged by the fact that Will didn't seem to be too heart-broken about ending it with Nina.

She had seen that Will had immediately understood, even if he double-checked with her during the next break, but she had no idea if he would comply. She had almost heard the little wheels turning in his head during every break that followed and every news package that aired, but he hadn't given her any hint as to what he would do.

Mac sighed. It was only Wednesday and she didn't know how she should survive the rest of the week if she didn't get her mind away from it all for at least a little while. She had taken a shower after coming home and gotten out a bottle of red wine afterwards, but all she could do now was to sit and wait.

She idly zipped through the news channels on TV but couldn't concentrate, so she turned it off again and flipped through a magazine instead. It was almost two hours after the show had ended, and she was beginning to believe that Will wouldn't show up after all, the thought winding her up even more, when she heard her doorbell ring.

Mac almost jumped in her seat, but quickly put down her glass of wine, went to the door and spoke through the intercom.

„Yes?“

„... It's me, Mac...“

 _Will! He did come!_  
With a faint sigh of relief she buzzed him in and then anxiously waited until the elevator doors on her floor opened. Leaving the door open she retreated back into the apartment and got a second glass from the kitchen. The moment she started filling it Will walked in. „Hey...“

„Hey...“ Mac nervously answered and held out the glass. „Would you like some wine?“

„Thanks.“ Will accepted the offer, took a sip and then grinned. „I would have expected coffee, though...“

„I can make you coffee, no problem, I'm just strung too tight to drink it. I really need to sleep tonight and I...“ She was already on the way to the kitchen when Will interrupted her.

„Mac... MacKenzie! It's okay, I was only kidding. Wine is fine.“

„Sorry...“ she blushed. „I'm just... nervous, I guess... Thank you for coming, I wasn't sure you would...“

Will turned the stem of the glass between his fingers and watched her thoughfullly. „Are you... Do you really feel comfortable with this?“

Mac bit her lower lip for a moment, but then she looked down at her hands and nodded slowly. „I need this. I... I haven't s...“

Will raised his hands. „It's okay, you don't have to explain, I just don't want you to regret this tomorrow.“

She knew that they both had to be on the same page for this and raised her head to show him that she was sincere. „I won't regret it, I promise... And no strings attached.“

„Okay, then...“ Taking a step towards her he abruptly stopped again when the significance of what they were about to do hit him. He looked into Mac's eyes and could see the same nervous flitter in there that he felt in his whole body. For a moment neither of them moved, but finally he took a deep breath. „This is crazy... It's not like we haven't done it before...“

„Yeah...“ She nervously laughed.

„And we're friends, right?“ He suddenly needed to make sure of that.

„Right.“ Mac answered, her voice a little firmer this time.

„Okay...“ Will took the glass out of her hand and put both his and hers down onto the table. Straightening up again he looked into her eyes, closed in a little further and loosely placed his hands on Mac's shoulders, at which she involuntarily startled.

„Hey...“ Will said softly while tightening his grip a little. „It's alright. Do you trust me?“

Mac nodded and gave him a slight smile. „There is nobody I trust more.“

He smiled back at that. „Good... Do we need protection?“

This time she shook her head. „I'm still on the IUD. And I'm clean.“

„Me, too. So then...“ Will let his hands slowly run down her arms and felt the goosebumps that had spread out all over her skin. Reaching for her hands he entangled his fingers with hers and carefully pulled her closer until their bodies were touching, extracting a first whimper from Mac's throat.

„What do you want, MacKenzie? I'm here for you.“

She swallowed and closed her eyes, her cheeks blushing. „I... I'm... _God_ , I need to get rid of all this tension inside me, get my mind away from it all. Just fuck me, Will, please?“

Hearing her say it out loud so blatantly, arousal shot through his body like lightning, and he felt the beginning of an erection. Nevertheless, like he'd said he was here for Mac and would let her set the pace, so he slowly moved in and softly touched her lips once, only to withdraw again immediately, although a spark seemed to light his body on fire and his breath quickened. Looking at her with her eyes still closed and her head tilted upwards, expecting him to continue, he buried his hands in her hair and leaned in for another kiss, this time lingering in place and starting to nibble on her lower lip.

When she willingly opened her mouth with a deep moan, he let his tongue slide inside and couldn't help but groan as past reminders came rushing back: the feel of her mouth, the little sounds coming from the back of her throat, the taste of wine mixed with something that was uniquely Mac. How the hell had he managed to go without this for so long?

He felt his blood rushing south and, not being able to withstand any longer, he deepened the kiss while letting his hands roam down her back to cup her glorious ass, grinding into her. „God, Mac...“

The feeling of Will hard against her and the evidence of her own desire starting to pool between her legs let any doubts that might have been hiding far back in her mind vanish, and Mac now moved her own hands to his back. Powerful memories of the past started to surface, and she already felt her mind starting to let go off all the stress that had been piling up over the last weeks.  
Pressing herself into Will she pulled his shirt from his pants and let her fingers slide over his back, revelling in the feel of his firm muscles and the heat radiating from his skin. Raking her nails along his spine she felt him shiver, and with a sudden urge she pushed his tongue back with her own to now explore his mouth instead.

With this Will couldn't help but let himself go. He feverishly grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, only interrupting the kiss for a millisecond. Pleasantly surprised that she wasn't wearing a bra, his hands went up to cup her breasts, stroking her already hardened nipples which caused Mac to arch her back to press them further into him, breaking the kiss at the same time. Moaning loudly she raised her arms to slide her fingers into Will's hair. „Fuck, Will, that feels so good!“

Placing a row of hot kisses along her jawline down to her neck, he doubled his efforts and started rolling her nipples between his fingers while sucking on the sensitive skin at her pulse point, causing her to whimper and tug his hair. Trailing his lips further down he had them replace his fingers on her left breast, his tongue circling the pink peak before starting to suck, while his right hand kept massaging the other.

Mac gasped, and when he shortly lifted his eyes to look at her, the lust she saw in them made her go weak at her knees. „“Will...“ she breathed and pulled him up for a searing kiss. „I need you...“  
Groaning he covered her lips again and let his hands glide down to flick open the button of her jeans. Pushing it to the floor he followed his hands until he knelt in front of her, helping her step out of them before turning his attention to her body again.

Seeing her scar for the first time gave him a sharp sting, and he paused for a second, but he knew this wasn't the right time to address it, so he only acknowledged it with a reverent kiss, causing Mac to inhale sharply, before he quickly pulled down her panties.  
Smelling her arousal he closed his eyes and was painfully aware of his now fully erect cock straining against his pants. His hands massaged her ass cheeks while pressing his mouth to her hips and then flicking his tongue through her folds. „Jesus, you taste so good, Mac...“

Feeling him move his lips to her clit, a sharp hiss escaped Mac's lips and she arched into him, clenching her fingers in his hair. But the pressure in his pants became unbearable, so with a last flick to her nub he got back on his feet. Mac whimpered in protest but quickly caught on to his intentions to undress and helped him to get rid of his shirt. Using her chance she leaned in and teased his nipples with her tongue, causing an appreciative groan of his.

Feeling her hands slide down over his stomach to his pants, Will knew that if she touched him now, it would all be over too quickly, so he grabbed her wrists and shook his head, panting for air. „Where?“

„Couch.“ Mac couldn't hide the impatience in her voice but started to moan contently when he pulled her in for a deep kiss while simultaneously moving them over to the nearby sofa.  
Both of them were starting to lose control now, and Will all but shoved her down into the cushions before getting rid of his trousers. Finally released from his confinement his throbbing cock jumped up and twitched at the sight of Mac splayed out naked in front of him. Stroking it slowly he knelt down between her open legs. „God, you are so fucking sexy, Mac...“

„Will... _Please..._ “ She had entirely stopped thinking by now and was merely acting on instinct. When she lifted her hands to massage her breasts the sight of this alone almost made him come, but he managed to hold on and quickly dove in between her legs again. Sliding a finger through her folds he couldn't help but notice that she was even wetter than before, letting out a feral groan at this discovery.

Keeping his eyes on her writhing body he closed his lips over her clit again and drove his finger inside her opening, eliciting a sharp cry from her. Mac was so wet that he quickly added a second finger and then even a third, moving them in and out in the same rhythm in which he teased her bundle of nerves with his tongue. When he started to feel her walls clamping down on him, he combined a clever twist of his fingers with his teeth scraping over her nub and was rewarded with the sight of her ecstasy. Bucking her hips into him she wildly threw her head around while her hands kept pushing his head further against her center. „Yes, fuck yes... Don't stop...“

Curling his fingers against the spot he clearly remembered always made her go insane, he sucked her clit into his mouth and Mac completely fell apart. Her inner walls convulsed erratically and she screamed in pleasure, too far out of it to care about what her neighbours would think. Finally Will let his fingers slide out of her to move his hands soothingly over her endless thighs, feeling the tremours still running through them, before climbing onto the couch to cover her.

„You want to be on top?“ Will panted. He wanted her so badly, but still he tried to make it all about her and remembered that sometimes she liked to be in control.

„No... Just... I just want to let go, I need to feel.“ Mac moaned breathlessly and pulled him down for a hard kiss. „Oh God, I need you inside me... now!“

Not needing another invitation he deepened the kiss for a second before lining himself up and slowly entering her. They both gasped at the sensation of him filling her completely, his length sliding along her slick walls. Mac felt like she was falling, falling into a world that only consisted of Will and herself and him finally being inside her again.

Her legs wrapped tightly around his hips, Will started to thrust with a fervent groan and easily slipped into the same steady rhythm that had served them both so well all those years ago. Feverishly cupping her face he leaned down for another kiss before trailing his lips down to her breasts to suck on her nipples. Mewling Mac lifted her hands to his shoulders and let them run down his back to grip his ass. „Harder, Will. Faster!“

Immediately Will sped up, hitting _that_ spot every time and quickly turning her into a writhing mess. Hearing her moans and the sound of their hips slapping together, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer, so he braced himself on one elbow, drove into her even harder and used the other hand to rub her clit.  
Mac desperately met his every thrust, and feeling the spasms of her second orgasm begin, he gave one last flick to her nub. With a guttural groan he followed her over the edge while she shattered around him, a string of incoherent words flowing from her mouth.

Completely spent Will lowered himself onto Mac's chest, barely remembering to put most of his weight on his arms to not crush her, and felt her pliant body beneath him. After a couple of minutes of trying to catch his breath and finally being capable of a clear thought again, he moved his body sideways to come to lie between Mac and the back of the couch, sighing when sliding out of her. Holding her to his body he turned further on his back and pulled her onto his chest, so that they could both rest comfortably.

Moving his hands up and down her back, he suddenly felt a couple of warm, wet tears falling onto his skin and worringly lifted his head. „Mac? Are you alright? Did I hurt you?“

For a second Mac pressed her head into his chest before looking up and blinking the tears from her eyes. „I'm fine, it's just... relief, I guess.“ Suddenly she gave him a genuine smile. „That was exactly what I needed.“  
Lifting her hand she tenderly cupped his face and met his eyes. „Thank you, Will.“

With a last, grateful kiss to his cheek Mac got up and slowly went to her bedroom, turning around once more before she walked through the door. „I mean it, Will... _Thank you._ If you ever need anything...“

 


	2. Friends

**Friends**

The pitch meeting was well underway, and Will could allow himself to tune out for a moment while Mac entered into yet another discussion on newsworthiness with Neal.

The boy just didn't give up and had once again pitched his idea to do a series of segments on mystical figures, starting – of course – with Bigfoot, but also including the Monster of Loch Ness, the Yeti and Dracula among others. This time he was trying to sweeten it with the current popularity of vampirism thanks to books like the Twilight series and movies. He also threw in the angle of why modern society was so fascinated by mysteries and fantasy, but Will didn't need to listen to know what Mac thought about it.

However, that she took the time to talk to Neal instead of simply brushing him off was a good sign, indicating that she was feeling better today than she had for the last weeks. She actually did look less haunted, and the shadows beneath her eyes were less visible, though still there. But at least she seemed to finally have gotten some sleep last night.

Last night... After Mac had retreated to her bedroom he had stayed on the couch for a few more minutes before slowly getting dressed and leaving, trying to get his head around what had just happened and how good it had felt.

When they had met in the bullpen earlier in the morning Mac hadn't mentioned the past evening at all but had acted completely normal. She probably really had needed to unwind and didn't intend to talk about it, which was fine with him. It had been a one time thing, and if it had aided her in better coping with all the stress, than he was glad he could have been been of service. At least that's what he tried to tell himself...

God, the whole thing had started out as a favour to Mac, and all he had intended to do was help her out, but in the end he had wanted it as much as she did, if not more. Feeling her soft skin under his fingers, tasting her and finally, finally being inside her again after all this time, culminating in a mind-blowing orgasm, had left him shaken.

He had never questioned his attraction to her, but after what she had done to him all these years ago he would have never expected the sex between them to still be this... extraordinary.  
He had never experienced anything like it with any other woman, not before Mac and not after. Not even with Nina, although their relationship had steadily moved forward - until it had spiraled down rapidly during the last weeks that was.

But last night with Mac hadn't just been physical but also a reunion on an emotional level. They had fallen into their old game of give and take, had been in sync, and he honestly hadn't been prepared for that. Much less the questions this raised, leaving _him_ sleepless for most of the night this time.

He hadn't forgiven Mac, he knew that. Everytime they had a normal conversation and enjoyed themselves, at some time the memories of what she had done to him inevitably came up and like a reflex he just had to lash out and hurt her, although most of the time he hated himself for it afterwards. He hoped...

„Will?“ He startled and looked up. Mac was bracing herself on the table and looking at him. „Are you okay with that?“

„Sure, that's fine.“ He had no idea what she was talking about and just hoped that Neal hadn't somehow tricked her, so that he actually had to do a segment on Bigfoot...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Back in her office Mac sat down in her chair and leaned back with a sigh of relief. _'The day after'_ was almost half over, and what could have been an awkward moment early in the morning had turned out to be a normal greeting between two co-workers, hard as it had been. There had been no uncomfortable tension, and both Will and she had gone on with their normal business as if nothing had happened. At least she hoped that her behaviour had said just that.

But... actually nothing really meaningful _had_ happened. Last night had just been a mutual agreement between old friends, and it had been wonderful, just as passionate as in the past, but it was nothing that would ever be repeated.

She refused to let the area of her mind take over that was longing to be with Will again, that told her with this quiet, but insistant voice that it only had happened because she loved him. It was bad enough that she had used him, but she would not let her feelings get involved in this... Will was through with her and last night had just been a favour for a friend, as much as she wanted it to be more.

Last night... It had been exactly what she had needed in that moment, and she had finally slept well. She felt like she could tackle anything right now with a renewed energy that would help her get through the next weeks, until the double burden between the show and Genoa was finally over and the campaign coverage got rolling.

She didn't kid herself, the stress would surely be building up again from time to time, but now she would have the fresh memory of Will bringing her to complete relaxation, and with a little help of her own hands and the toys in her nightstand that had to be enough. If she had only known the outcome before, she would have asked Will a couple of weeks ago already and could have saved herself a lot of despair.

With a last, satisfied thought back to the previous night, though mixed with more than a hint of sadness that she would never experience it again, she turned to her work and smiled a little at how easy it was going for a change.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
The next days as well as the weekend went by quickly and on Monday Will was surprised to see Jim heading for the whiteboard at the first rundown meeting.

„Where's Mac?“

Jim lowered the pen he had started to write on the board with and turned around. „She and Charlie had to go speak to somebody, they'll be out for a while. They should be back for the show but if not, I'll run it. I hope that's not a problem?“

Will shook his head. „No... no, of course not. But why the fuck didn't they tell me?“

His senior producer looked slightly uncomfortable and repeatedly put the cap back on the pen and took it off again. „It's because of a story you don't know about yet. They probably didn't want you to ask too many questions. And before you ask me...“ Jim lifted his hands defensively „... I have no idea who they are going to see today.“

Will nodded and let the young man get back to his work. He had come to know him as a diligent, capable producer who knew what he was doing, and he didn't doubt that he would a good job, which didn't mean that he wouldn't prefer Mac to be in his ear though.

And in the end Charlie and Mac did make it back to the show and seemed to be rather happy, so the trip had to have been successful. But as they didn't say anything to Will, he contained his curiosity and they dove right into the last preparations for the show.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Weeks later, after the third Red Team meeting on Genoa he had finally been allowed to take part in, Mac followed Will into his office and closed the door.

„Are you sure about pursuing this story, Will?“

„Positive.“ He replied surprised. „Why are you asking?“

She didn't look at him. „I... You... hesitated. You didn't just agree to it because Charlie and I want the story?“

„No, of course not! And I told you, I've heard about it before.“

At this Mac did lock eyes with Will. „Yeah... about that... Why didn't you come to me with this potential story? Doesn't that mean you actually _don't_ want to cover it?“

Will sighed. „You know, you guys weren't really acting this secretively with all your closed door meetings, having the staff work late, meetings at all hours. Your covert skills really could use some practice... I knew you were working on a big story, and I assumed you were either already working on the same story I heard of, or you had your plates full. Our team isn't big enough to research two major stories at the same time, you know that.“

Mac narrowed her eyes and vigorously pointed her finger at him. „And you didn't even _think_ about telling me as your executive producer and let me make the decision? If there is more than one important story, there is always a way, you just have to do it right!“

„Mac, look at you! For weeks now you have been the first in the office and the last one to go home. There's our show, election campaign coverage had to be organized and soon you'll start with preparations for the election itself. Then the story I knew you were working on which now turns out to be 'Operation Genoa', I know you are still helping Maggie the best you can to come to terms with what happened in Uganda... Mac, you're just one person and you can't do it all! If you could, we wouldn't...“ His voice trailed off and he chose to rather not finish that sentence.

„I can delegate!“ Mac was fuming. She had never liked anybody telling her what to do, especially not in the workplace.

„I know you can, but do you actually _do_ it as much as you should?“ Will looked at her questioningly and saw her squinting her eyes even more. „Look, Mac, I'm not trying to pick a fight, I just want you to take care of yourself. And anyway, it's been the same story and no harm's been done.“

She took a deep breath, still not happy with the situation, but she forced herself to calm down; she had more important things to do right now. „Okay... But promise to come to me in the future when you have a lead to a potential story?“

Will nodded and held her gaze. „I will if I think it's something worth pursuing. That's all I can promise.“

Mac looked at him for another moment and then turned around. „Meeting in the conference room in ten.“

Will watched her leaving his office and let out a breath. He had been so close to mentioning what had happened between them, almost breaking their silent agreement to not talk about it...

He was starting to worry about her again, but he knew that there was nothing he could do.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
It had been a triumph and now it was tragedy.  
On Sunday night they had landed a scoop with the Genoa story, and the whole team had been on a high. They had all been so damn proud and started partying as soon as the broadcast was over, at least until the follow up-interview with Gunnery Sgt. Sweeney during Elliot's show and the revelation of his traumatic brain injury had dampened the mood a little.

And then Charlie had come down to let them know that General Stomtonovich had called him immediately after the show and had been furious, insisting that he had been edited out of context.

At first they hadn't worried too much and attributed his complaints to a sudden fear about what he had given away on camera, but then Mac had found out that Jerry Dantana, that fucking son of a bitch, had altered the raw footage and _did_ change the meaning of what the General had said.

They'd been forced to retract the whole story and were now not only the laughing stock of the whole industry, but legal problems were piling up, they'd lost important state sources, and the audience's trust was gone. How should they ever recover from that?

Will had already spent many sleepless nights because of this whole mess, and he knew that Mac wasn't doing any better than him. He could still see her face from the moment she told them that they had to retract the story in front of him, devastated, horrified and almost in tears.  
Now she not only felt the same frustration as everybody else but she was beating herself up for asking leading questions in a pre-interview and especially for not discovering the editing of the raw footage before airing the story. Will knew that was insane, but he couldn't get through to her.

Yes, she could have noticed it before, but so could have everybody else. _He_ was the managing editor and it was _his_ decision what went on the air, so he had to at least share the responsibility with her if not even take on the bigger load. But Mac didn't see it like that, and he felt that she was slowly going off the rails. She was throwing herself into work even more than before, and every day she looked wearier and more exhausted.

When one day she scolded Maggie in front of the others for a simple oversight and almost made her cry, he knew it was probably about time.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Mac had been surprised and shocked about herself when she'd gone after Maggie for a really little screw up, and that in front of all the other staff and Will, before storming out.

As soon as she had recognized what she had done, she had apologized to Maggie and they were fine again, but she was self-aware enough to know that this wasn't her. She _never_ shouted at the staff! Criticism, yes, even harsh criticism when justified, but she never snapped without a _really_ good reason, and even then she tried to stay calm...

She knew where this short fuse was coming from. What she wouldn't give if she hadn't fucked up Genoa! She not only violated one of the ground principles of journalism – Don't ask leading questions – but she had simply gotten duped by Dantana... _Dammit_ , how could that have happened?

She had sensed that he'd been nervous, but she had attributed that to excitement about his big scoop. If the story had been true, he would have likely been a nominee for a Peabody, so she hadn't wondered about it.

And now? That bastard had ruined them.  
She didn't care that much about herself, but she was wrecked with guilt that ACN, their young staff and especially Will had become a part of it...

She had thrown herself into work since then, as if working twice as hard as before would prevent the fall-out of Genoa, but she didn't fool herself: Nobody would ever believe them again.

So now she hadn't only wrecked Will's personal life but his career, too, and she was waiting for the day he'd finally fire her. How could he keep on working with her after this, even if he did say over and over that it wasn't her fault? She knew better...

All the worse that she knew how she might be able to get away from this self-destructive path she was on. Since the retraction of Genoa she had found herself in a fragile, continuously downspiraling emotional state, and it was obvious where it was leading to. She was standing at the edge again; this time not because of her work load but because of guilt and self-loathing.

For the past week already she had been tempted to call on Will's help again, but she had promised herself that it had been a one time thing. In the beginning it had been enough to relive in her mind what had happened the other night, but that soon wore off in the wake of the daily stress that hadn't gotten less, on the contrary.

After today though, after directing her anger and frustration with the whole situation at the staff, one who was emotionally broken on top of it, she had to to deal with the fact that she again needed help to find herself underneath this whole cacophony of feelings racing through her.

But should she really do it?  
Her body was still tingling when she thought back to the other night, and she knew that it would help her to stop this downward spiral she was riding on. But she couldn't be sure if in the long run it wouldn't just make everything worse; if she wouldn't start to depend on Will with no prospect of it leading anywhere. It had been hard enough to act normal after the first time, and she wasn't sure if she could keep that up...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Will hadn't been particularly surprised when he heard Mac asking for a cup of Joe during the broadcast again that night, and astonishingly enough he didn't mind at all. Therefore about an hour after the show he was stepping out of her building's elevator once more.

This time Mac was already waiting for him at the door, and as soon as he stepped into her apartment she was onto him.

Barely giving him the time to take off his jacket she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a heated kiss. He just managed to murmur „Mac, slow down!“ before her lips crashed onto his, and in an instant she had him pushed against the wall.

„I can't.“ she growled into his mouth. „I need you _now_.“'  
With this all of Will's resolve to take it slow dissolved into thin air. He had also been rattled by the whole Genoa affair, and just like her he wanted to forget for a little while. So with a loud groan he pulled her hips towards him and ground into her.

Turning them around he now pressed Mac into the wall and deepened the kiss. His tongue explored her mouth before moving his lips along her jaw to the neck, where he started to vigorously suck at her pulse point before soothing the skin with hot kisses.

Moaning Mac dug her fingers into his hair, nibbled at his ear lobe and breathed „Fuck, that feels so good...“ Then she slid her hands down and impatiently started to open the buttons of his shirt, stroking the skin of his revealed chest while moving her fingers further down and pulling its hem out of his pants.

While she was shoving the shirt over his shoulders Will's mouth trailed down to the v-neck of her t-shirt, and he licked a hot path along the swelling of her breasts, his hands sliding underneath to shortly cup them. Desperately wanting to see them he pulled her shirt over her head, and she gladly helped by lifting her arms.

As soon as the garment was on the floor he grabbed her wrists with one hand to hold them up against the wall, and after a moment of just staring at this beautiful sight in front of him he leaned in to tease her nipples with his tongue. Non-stop circling, flicking, teasing and licking, mixed with an occasional suck, caused Mac to arch her body into him, keening loudly and asking for more.

Frantically but unsuccessfully trying to free her hands to touch Will in return, she could only wrap her leg around his hip to increase friction. She was so wet already and needed the pressure to her core, so she started rocking against his thigh. Groaning Will came up to conquer her mouth again, his free hand continuing to softly knead her breasts.

Finally letting go of her hands he unbuttoned her pants and pushed them down as far as possible with one of her legs up, while Mac's hands trailed down his back to do the same with his. Moving his hand into her panties Will hissed when he felt how slick she was already and immediately pushed a finger inside her. „MacKenzie...!“

„Fuck!“ Mac cried out at the same time and threw her head back. „Fuck yes, Will!“  
For a moment Will fucked her with his finger and his thumb rubbed her clit, her reaction arousing him even more, but then it wasn't enough. Feeling him remove his hand Mac let out a desperate whine and tried to chase it with her hips, but Will stroked along her raised leg, pulling it further up along his side to rock into her for a second before pushing it back to the floor.

With a last swipe of his tongue over her bottom lip he sank to his knees and pulled her pants completely down to let her step out of it. Then he got up again with his hands trailing along her endless legs, caressing the soft skin of her inner thighs. While he buried his head between her breasts Mac pushed down his loosely sitting slacks together with his boxers, helping it along with her foot, before taking his hard length into her hand.

Will growled when she started to firmly stroke it from its base to the tip and back again, circling the head with her finger before repeating her movements over and over. „Oh God, Mac, you have to stop or...“  
With a last squeeze she ran her fingers up his chest to his head to pull it up for another kiss and breathed. „I want you, Will!“

Hearing the urgency in her voice he quickly kicked off his shoes and shook off his remaining clothes from around his ankles before grabbing her ass and slightly lifting her off the ground. Mac immediately understood and wrapped both her legs around his waist, whimpering when she felt the tip of his cock nudge at her folds. „Now, Will, inside me...“

Wanting this as much as she did Will entered her with one smooth thrust, causing both of them to moan at the feeling. Not giving her any time to adjust to his impressive girth he started to pound into her relentlessly. Gasping Mac threw her head back to offer him her neck, and he immediately took the invitation and started to suck at her skin, not caring if he was going to leave a mark.

Riding higher and higher she raked her fingernails over his back, answering his every move. Every thought had left her mind and she only wanted to come, so she rhythmically gripped his cock with her inner muscles, making him groan into her neck at this sensation. Not being able to hold his climax off for very much longer he pinned her harder against the wall and moved one of his hands from her ass to frantically rub her clit. „Fuck, Will, right there... Fuckfuckfuck, yessss...“

Her hips bucking wildly back and forth he felt her orgasm was near, and when her walls started to flutter around him he pushed hard a few more times before spilling into her with a low grunt the moment she reached her breaking point, shouting his name from the top of her lungs in relief.

Crushing into her Will held her up with his own weight while trying to catch his breath and waiting for his legs to stop shaking. His head cradled in the crook of her neck Mac gently squeezed his butt and placed a row of soft kisses along his shoulder, still panting for air.

Finally Will felt like he could trust his legs again and, still inside her, he carried her over to the couch where he sat down so that Mac straddled him. Leaning forward she sank into his chest, hip to hip to not loose their connection, and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of him bringing her down with soft strokes along her back and thighs, his face nestled into her hair.

When even after several minutes she didn't move at all he started to wonder. „Are you okay, Mac?“

„Mmh... Just tired... That was... so good...“

„It sure was...“ Will stroked some loose strands of hair out of her face and pressed a tender kiss to top of her head. „Thank you.“

Mac's breath hitched and she tensed up, but couldn't look at him. „I'm the one who needs to thank you, Will... And I'm sorry, I didn't plan to ask you again, I don't want to use you....“

„Hey... You're not... Look at me, Mac.“ Will gently moved her head so that she was facing him, though reluctantly. „You're not using me, we are friends, remember?“

Looking into his eyes she gave him a shy smile. „Still... thank you, Will.“ Then she hesitated a moment before quietly adding „Can we... Could we just stay here for a while?“

Will took a deep breath and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. „I would like that...“  
With a relieved sigh Mac raised her arms around his neck and leaned forward again, her head on his shoulder and her fingers playing with his short hair, while his hands kept roaming over her slender body. „Do you want to talk about it?“

Mac's fingers stopped their movements for a moment. „About what happened today? No... not really... It was just a little much recently, I apologized to Maggie and I'm gonna be fine now...“

„Okay...“ Will let it go, although he had actually meant to ask if she wanted to talk about them, or at least what was happening between them. But if she wasn't ready, he wouldn't force her, especially as that meant he didn't have to admit that this time he had needed it almost as much as she did, not to speak of wanting it...  
So he just enjoyed holding her in his arms for now, actually indulging in cuddling her after the hot sex they'd just had, which secretly made him wonder if that had to mean something?

After a while of softly caressing her, he felt Mac moving her hands over his chest and slightly wiggling in his lap, and he couldn't help but start reacting to it.

„Do you need... more coffee?“ His hoarse voice betrayed him, and he felt Mac smile into his shoulder. Slowly she clamped her muscles around him and he felt himself getting even harder inside her, only able to moan at this incredible feeling. „Mac...“

Lifting her head she captured his lips in a soft kiss and began to slightly rock against him, running her hands through his hair while Will moved his fingers to the side of her breasts. „Let's go to your bedroom.“

„No, right here.“ Mac murmered into his mouth before continuing the kiss, moving her tongue tantalizingly slow against his and only gradually speeding up the motions of her hips.

In contrast to the hot fuck earlier she was going for a steady build-up now, setting the pace herself and only letting Will react. When they both came this time, never interrupting the kiss, it was like a series of waves rolling over them, gently breaking against the shore without any destructive force behind them.

This time she let him slip out of her, not being able to hold back a whimper at the loss of the feeling of him inside her. But with a small smile and a last kiss she then got up, and just like the first time she disappeared into her bedroom with a 'Thank you'.

 


	3. Past and Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now where I'm altering the timeline and put more days in between the events. In canon the airing of Genoa, the retraction and the riots in Benghazi are all happening within 2 – 3 days starting September 09, 2012. I'm placing Benghazi at the beginning of October, not meaning to be disrespectful.

**Past and Present  
**

After taking a shower Mac had gone to bed and now she was lying in the dark, completely satisfied.

 _Wow!_ The first round with Will tonight had been hot and wild and steamy and exactly what she had needed at that moment. The second time though... It had felt like coming home. The cuddling had been so wonderful, and she'd just wished she could stay snuggled into his arms forever. Then she had felt the insatiable need to make _love_ to him, to connect with him on a different level than just hot, untamed sex, and she hadn't been able to stop this urge.

It had been so beautiful that she had almost burst into tears afterwards and quickly went to her bedroom to not let him see it. But as much as she had loved it, right now she wasn't sure if she should really be this okay with it...

This whole arrangement was supposed to be purely physcial, and she had sworn that she wouldn't get emotionally involved. She had already broken the promise she had given herself to not ask Will over again, and she knew, that if she wasn't capable of keeping her feelings out of this, it would kill her in the end.

Except for the sex Will had no intention to renew their relationship, or he would have said something, _anything_ along the lines of him missing her or wanting more. _She_ had been the one to initiate both encounters, and he had never even mentioned it after the first time and probably wouldn't say anything tomorrow either.  
And she couldn't even blame him, on the contrary, she was grateful that he had agreed to help her out and apparently was over their past enough to not mind.

Mac grinned to herself, which quickly turned into a sad smile though.  
Of course he wouldn't say no, at least after getting over any initial doubts he might have had. It was quite obvious how attracted he still was to her, after all not a day went by without him appreciatively ogling her legs or just looking at her when he thought she didn't notice. And the sex between them had always been amazing, still was, so it was no wonder that he had jumped at the opportunity to sleep with her...

Serioulsy, what man would turn down the opportunity for great sex without any further commitments?

What made her sad, though, was that normally she would have never associated Will with this question, but she knew that he wasn't the man she had left five years ago anymore.  
Back then he had definitely been the monogamous type, and she had never even given a thought to the possibility that he could be interested in another woman. He just hadn't had it in him.  
But he had changed, otherwise he wouldn't have dated the string of bimbos when she had come back to ACN and before when she had been in the Middle East. Well, he _had_ tried a committed relationship with Nina for a while, but apparently he didn't want to be stuck with one woman anymore.

Mac sighed. She wasn't in a position to judge him. It was probably her fault anyway, and if this was all he could give her, she was fine with that. She had to be.  
He had helped her to come out of her messed up state of mind again, and this had _definitely_ been the last time. Hell, the whole Genoa debacle couldn't get any worse, could it?

The initial fall-out was starting to ease down and they had survived, so from now on she would pick herself up from the ground and start making _Newsnight_ great again, get back their audience's trust and prove to be a reliable partner to government branches and other sources.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Will entered the newsroom the following morning Mac was already there, leaning over Maggie's desk and explaining something to her while pointing at the computer screen. When from the corner of her eye she saw Will coming in she turned her head, and with a millisecond of hesitation, unnoticiable to anybody else, she gave him a warm smile which quickly changed to a frown. Telling Maggie that she'd be back in a flash she followed him to his office.

„Good Morning.“

Will was already standing behind his desk, unpacking his briefcase, and looked up. „Morning.“

Mac took a step closer, carefully watching him. „Are you alright? You don't look too good, you're eyes are all red...“

Will waved her off and sat down. „It's nothing, probably a touch of hay fever, it'll be okay before tonight.“

Mac squinted her eyes. „William Duncan McAvoy, you've never had hay fever in your life, you're probably desensitized, being a Nebraskan farm boy and all. What's up?“

He sighed, but didn't meet her eyes. „ _Fine..._ I didn't sleep that good last night. Satisfied?“

Mac didn't say anything for a moment, but then she looked down and quietly continued in a more cautious tone. „Was... Was it because of last night?“

„No... No, of course not. It was just one of those nights, I guess.“ Will didn't face her either and pretended to search for some important papers in the pile he had just placed on the desk. „I'll get a strong coffee and will be fine.“

„Okay then...“ She hesitated, but then turned around. „See you at the pitch meeting.“

„Yeah...“ Will let his voice trail off while taking a report into his hand and starting to read. However, as soon as Mac had left his office, he leaned back in his chair and sighed.

 _Dammit!_ Of course last night was the reason that he hadn't slept well!  
The sex had simply been amazing, so driven by their mutual desire the first time, up against the wall. But then the second time... It had touched something inside him he didn't know still existed, a feeling of overwhelming tenderness, the wish to just take care of Mac and to never let her go.

That moment had just been perfect, but later, when he was alone again, it had scared the shit out of him and it still did...

He was beginning to think that he had started to forgive MacKenzie for _cheating_ on him, certain he wouldn't be able to do all this otherwise. But at the same time he hadn't forgotten that she had _betrayed_ him, and he simply couldn't trust her to not do that again. So how could he have these feelings?

And even more important: What should he do about them?

He had been fairly sure that the only way to deal with this was to ignore these sentiments. But later, lying in his own bed at home and replaying the evening in his mind, he couldn't help but wonder why both times Mac had insisted to stay on the couch instead of going to her bedroom with a certainly much more comfortable bed in it. The first time it might have just been the easy thing to do in the heat of the moment, but last night?

Was she ashamed of what they were doing and didn't want him in her bed?  
Or maybe he just wasn't anything else then a one-night stand to her, an easy pick up? Convenient, well-tried and available?

He didn't know, but what was really eating him up inside was _why_ this was relevant to him at all. He had only done Mac a favour... Well, two by now, but nothing more...  
He _did not_ intend to restart their relationship. Hell, she'd fucking _betrayed_ him, so why would he care if they had sex on the couch or elsewhere?

He just didn't know, but what he did know was that he wouldn't solve this mess now, here in his office, and should better go and attend the pitch meeting, or Mac would have his ass....

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The following weeks they continued working side by side without ever talking about what had happened between them.

The first time they had met at her apartment had been in March, the second time months later in mid-September, after the Genoa retraction. Now it was early October and Mac seemed to be doing fine. She was still working long hours and beating herself up over Genoa, but she had moved forward and put all her energy into getting their numbers up again.

Will on the other hand still hadn't sorted through his feelings and, as much as he missed being intimate with Mac, was partly glad that she hadn't asked him over again so far. Then again he couldn't prevent taking this as more proof that their encounters hadn't meant anything to her except stress relief, but he refused to admit to himself that he was not happy with that thought.

What he couldn't deny was that he really wanted to spend time with Mac outside of work again, apart from their sex arrangement. He had therefore invited her to dinner a couple of times unter the pretence of discussing the show, but she had declined and insisted on talking about it in the office, so he hadn't asked her again.  
Another reminder that she apparently had no interest in him except for the occasional booty call...

Mac though would have loved to accept Will's invitations, but she knew she couldn't. The second – well, the third – time they had slept together had shown her that she wasn't able to keep her feelings out of it.

She loved Will, and every time they were together it only became clearer to her- as if she had needed any help in realizing it in the first place...  
She had loved him since they had been a few months into their first relationship, and she had never stopped since. She'd been a fool to think that she could go through with this on a purely physical basis and not get involved emotionally. So for about two weeks now she had managed to deny herself this form of relief, as hard as it sometimes was, for the stress sure hadn't gotten less.

Nevertheless she was coping with all of it as well as she could, until news about riots in Libya broke over the wire and were handed into their rundown meeting by an intern. The US embassy in Benghazi and, a few hours later, a second compound a mile away had been attacked by protesters, and it had ended with injured personnel and several casualties.

Will saw Mac tense up when the reports came in and noticed that Jim also watched her closely. For the rest of the day, including during the scheduled meetings, she often seemed to be lost in her thoughts and startled several times when someone approached her with a question.

Will didn't know what to make of this, but when he asked Jim who he had seen talking to Mac after the meeting, he just shrugged and, loyal as he was, told him to ask Mac herself. So before the final rundown Will went into her office to speak with her.

"Hey, how are you doing, Mac?“

Once more she jumped, although he had knocked on her door when coming in, and lifted her eyes from a report she was supposingly reading. Will had watched her for a while before entering though and had noticed that she – infamous speed reader that she was – hadn't turned the page for minutes now.

„I'm fine. What do you need?“

„Nothing... I just wanted to check. You seemed a bit off all day, is everything alright?“

„Yes, sure. I've just got a lot on my mind today.“ She didn't look at him, and Will didn't buy her 'I'm doing fine'-act for a minute, but didn't know what to do.

„If you say so...“ He was about to turn around when he stopped. „Mac?“

„Hmm?“ She looked up again.

Will pushed his hand in his pockets. „You do know... If there's anything you need, I'm there for you, right?“

Mac's breath hitched for a second, but then she genuinely smiled. „I do, thank you, Will.“

He just shrugged and turned around. „What are friends for?“

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Later that evening everything was ready for the broadcast, the Benghazi tragedy set to lead the A block, but Will was still worried about Mac.

She was quieter than usual, didn't try to rile him up with some well placed, balanced banter as she usually did directly before the show, and she even almost forgot to give him the countdown. It got only slightly better during the course of the show, but, seeing how she had insisted on being okay before, he was still surprised to hear her voice during the last commercial break.

Will? W...what would you say to a cup of Joe? Tonight after the show?“

Will looked up, confused and a little concerned. That didn't sound like the MacKenzie who had asked him over before. Just now she had seemed nervous, insecure, as if she wasn't sure that what she had asked for was what she really wanted.

Hesitating for a moment he finally agreed. „Sure, if you'll like. I'll pick you up in your office.“  
This was against their unwritten codeword rules, but he had no clue what was going on with Mac and didn't care about normal procedures.

After the show he quickly changed into his own clothes and went over to Mac's office, where she was standing at the window, looking out over the city.  
„Are you ready? Still up for a coffee?“

Will saw her take a deep breath before she turned around and gave him a small smile. „I'm coming.“ Grabbing her purse and jacket she walked towards the door and he couldn't resist staying next to her and putting his hand in the small of her back. She didn't seem to mind or at least didn't react to it, so he steered her to the elevator.

When they reached the lobby and went outside he asked her to go ahead and get into the car while he wrote a few autographs for a number of fans waiting for him. Finally joining Mac he asked his driver to take them to his apartment, at which she shortly looked at him, but didn't say anything.

While changing Will had thought about the last times they had met and had decided that he did not want to spend another night on her couch, but he also didn't want to take advantage of her in a situation where she was clearly vulnerable. If she didn't want him in her bedroom, he wouldn't push that subject, but that didn't mean they couldn't use _his_ bed.

Pretty satisfied with himself all smugness left him when he glanced over to Mac. She seemed preoccupied, tense and held her arms crossed in front of her chest as if she was cold, but it was a warm night so that wasn't likely.  
As he didn't want to interrogate her in front of the driver he carefully pulled the hand closest to him down into her lap instead and enveloped it with his, smiling at her obvious surprise. „Just relax...“

It was a short ride and on arrival Will helped Mac out of the car and led her to the private elevator that granted direct access to his apartment. Stepping into the living room he took her jacket and hung it on the coat rack. „Would you like a cup of coffee or a glass of wine?“

„Actually, wine would be nice. White, please?“

„Just a minute. Go ahead and sit down.“ Will went into the kitchen, and when he came back with glasses and a bottle of Chardonnay from the fridge he stopped and held his breath.  
Mac had made herself comfortable, slipped out of her shoes and was snuggling into the corner of the couch, her feet drawn up to meet her thighs. This was a different apartment and a different couch, but still this familiar sight conjured up so many memories...

When he noticed himself staring at her he quickly walked over and sat down in the opposite corner, filling the glasses and handing her one. „Cheers.“

Mac slightly raised her glass to him but didn't say anything, so Will took the first step. „Do you want to talk? There's something on your mind and it's not the normal everyday stuff you're dealing with...“

She didn't answer immediately but took another sip of wine before putting the glass down on the table and detangling her legs. Leaning over to him she did the same with his drink and let her hand roam over his thigh. „Maybe later...“

Closing the last remaining distance between them she moved in for a kiss, but Will grabbed her shoulders to hold her back, startling her. „Not the couch, not this time.“  
Standing up he pulled her with him and led the way to his bedroom.

„But...“

„No but. My apartment, my rules.“

Mac swallowed, but then gave up her resistance and followed him. Sleeping with him in his bed was different than using her own, where the memories of it would haunt her every night, but with this she could deal. She hoped anyway... It was still very intimate, something she had consciously tried to avoid before...

On entering the bedroom Will turned on the light but dimmed it down. Leading Mac to his bed he stopped at its foot and slowly started to unbutton her blouse while leaning down for a tender kiss.

He knew that this wasn't the time for a hot fuck like the other times. Mac had been acting strange all day, and the way she had asked for this told him that there was something other behind her wish to meet him tonight than the usual stress. He therefore took his time to undress her and didn't object when Mac reciprocated.

When they were both facing each other in their underwear they took a moment to just look at each other, the last times having been so frenzied that they hadn't had the chance to take in their bodies and notice any changes to what was memorized in their minds from years ago.

Now Mac slowly let her hands wander across his chest, raking her fingernails across his stomach which made his abdominal muscles twitch, while Will's gaze rested on her scar, the most obvious alteration to her body. Softly he stroked along its length with his fingers, not being able to avert his eyes.

When she noticed his fixation she automatically tried to take a step back, uncomfortable that he was concentrating on this one part of her she so much wanted to forget. Will however sensed her impending movement and quickly let his hand slide around her waist to hold her in place. „Don't...“

Bending forward he pressed his lips to the scar when suddenly he felt Mac's chest heave raggedly and heard a muffled sob. Immediately he stopped and lifted his head to look into her eyes. „Mac? What is it?“

Tears were running down her cheeks now, and all Will could do was pull her into his arms and gently stroke her back, murmering soothing words. „Shhh,shhh... It's fine, Mac... Everything is alright, you're safe with me...“

Finally he was sitting down on the bed, scooted up a little to lie down and pulled her with him, cradling her into his arms until her crying ceased and she calmed down a little. Mac's head was resting against him, and he gently let his hand run through her hair, deep in thought. When he came to a conclusion he quietly started to speak.

„Mac... today in the meeting and then all day after that... Does it have anything to do with your scar that you were so rattled by that report on Benghazi?“

Mac didn't reply for a while and buried her head in his chest, but then she sighed. „I... It hit a little close to home...Yesterday was the anniversary of my stabbing, and around that time I tend to be a little sensitive about it... When I heard about the riots it all came up again...“

Will didn't say anything for a moment, his insides cramping at the thought of Mac being stabbed, lying on a dusty street with blood all over her... He had only heard about it when it had already been clear that she would be alright, and he didn't know any details, but the thought of how close she had come to dying still terrified him today. Slightly lifting his head he pressed a kiss to her temple and braced himself on one elbow. Once more he tenderly touched the scar and then looked up into her eyes. „How did it happen?“

Again Mac didn't say anything for a long time, but reflexively dug her fingers into his side. Will was just starting to believe she didn't want to talk about it when she suddenly drew a deep breath.

„We were in Islamabad to cover a meeting of several important tribal leaders of the Punjab region, some supporters of the Taliban, others not. All of them brought large groups of followers and the atmosphere in the whole city was incredibly tense...  
We were warned to be careful, that at any time a little spark could cause a violent outbreak... But we needed to get that footage and had also scheduled an interview with one of the most important leaders. We had almost reached the agreed meeting point when...“ Mac shuddered and let go off Will to roll onto her back, now staring at the ceiling without actually seeing it, her mind caught in the past and her hand covering the scar.

„When what?“ Will asked softly after a while, when she didn't continue.

„... I was turning around a corner, Jim and Mike, our camera man, were a few steps behind me, and there was this group of men... They were argueing and just when I walked by one of them drew a knife... I don't even think he intended to attack anybody, he just wanted to scare the other guys off, but then there was shoving and shouting and somehow the knife ended up... in me...“ Mac swallowed and another tear ran down her face which Will tenderly stroke off with his thumb.

„I didn't even realize what had happened, one moment I was walking and the next moment I was lying on the ground and there was fighting all around me... Later Mike told me that Jim didn't hesitate for a second and pushed everybody out of his way to get to me... Sweet Jim... He probably saved my life, you know?“ Will tensed and without even thinking about it he put his hand on top of hers and squeezed it gently.

„I was bleeding all over the place, and if he hadn't carried me out of there and found a military patrol that took me to the army hospital, I probably wouldn't have made it...“ She swallowed at the thought and paused for a moment. „By the time we got there I was unconscious, had lost too much blood, but the doctors did a terrific job...“

„Come here.“ He pulled her to his chest and nestled his face in her hair, savoring that he was still able to do so. „I'm so sorry, MacKenzie...And so glad you made it home... I've got to think of a way to thank Jim for that...“

Neither of them said anything for a while, and they just enjoyed the closeness between them, but then Will broke the silence. „As I much as I want to, I won't be able to make these memories disappear... But just in case you're worried... You do know that you're still sexy as hell, yeah?“

At this Mac sniffed and laughed simultaneously, and he was glad that he could still make her feel better by just being there for her.  
„So... about tonight... You're sure you want this? We don't have to.“

She nodded without hesitation and pressed a kiss to his chest. „I need something to help me forget all this... I'm fine most of the time, but around this time a year it all becomes a little too much...“ She moved her hand to his stomach and slowly started exploring, but suddenly he stopped her.

„May I?“ Without waiting for her answer he scooted down a little so that his eyes were aligned with the scar. „Let's have you associate some positive things with this as well...“

Lifting his hand he again stroked the narrow but rough scar several times with his index finger before leaning in and placing soft kisses along the almost five inches of ragged skin. Then suddenly he looked up. „Does it hurt?“

Mac shook her head and smiled at his consideration. „No, it's fine. It's just the scar that's left to remind me.“

With this confirmation Will dove right back in again, concentrating hot kisses on the scar and the area around, only occasionally moving his tongue alongside of it and playing his fingers across her skin, until he felt her relax and melt into his touch. Leaving one hand caressing the scar he slowly moved the other one further up to open the front clasp of her bra and pull the cups out of the way. Placing a row of kisses along her stomach until he reached her breasts, he gently started to swirl his tongue around her nipples.

Moaning she arched into his touch and slid her fingers in his hair, already feeling the tension drift away and all thoughts of war zones and protesters and knife wounds disappear into the backmost corner of her mind.

Running her fingers through his hair she revelled in the feeling of Will's soft touches, her breath quickening when he started to tenderly suck at the soft skin of her chest. But then she started to feel restless and needed more.

She loved Will for being gentle with her, for worshipping her body and reassuring her about any feelings she might have about herself being damaged goods, but tonight it wasn't enough. Tonight she needed to feel alive and to be in control to drive even the last insecurities and fears away. With one sudden movement she unexpectedly rolled them over and came to lie on Will's chest. „Mac...?“

„Let me...“ Leaning down she captured his lips in a soft kiss, sliding her tongue along them before pushing it inside his mouth and playfully circling around his. Soon the movements became more passionate and needy, and both of them let out a deep moan at the sensations spreading through them.

Finally she moved her mouth to leave a row of kisses along his jawline before nibbling on his earlobe and whispering „You can't come before I'll tell you to, got it?“

Will inhaled sharply but then nodded his consent. They had used to play games of denial in their previous relationship, and he sensed that tonight she needed to hold the strings.

With him giving in she moved down alongside his body, leaving a trail of kisses on her way to his chest where she started teasing his nipples by licking them, sucking and also with an occasional - gentle – bite. Will hissed at this and ran his hands up and down her thighs before grabbing her ass and pulling her against him.

„Don't!“ She scolded him and punished him with another bite, a little harder this time, but soothing it immediately with a swipe of her tongue. Growling Will obediently let go of her, and she moved further down, raking her fingers along the hem of his boxers and then cupping the impressive bulge underneath.

„Mac...“ Will groaned and his hips bucked involuntarily.

„Shhh... I haven't even started yet...“

„Oh God...“ He moaned, getting even harder at the sheer thought of it.

Chuckling she sat back on his thighs, enabling him to feel her own arousal even through her panties, and started to pull down his shorts, assisted by him lifting his hips off the bed. Only shoving them down as far as necessary she leaned forward and swiped her tongue over the tip of his erect cock, eliciting another groan of his.

Then she added her hand to the mix and stroked up and down the smooth skin while closing her lips over the head and starting to suck.  
„Fuck, Mac!“ Not knowing how much control over himself he would be able to keep up Will didn't dare grab her hair for purchase but clenched his fingers tightly into the sheets instead and pushed his hips up a little, begging for more.

She looked up for a second and grinned cheekily. „You like that, eh?“

„Fuck, yes...“ Will grunted. He closed his eyes but instantly opened them again to not miss a second of the sight in front of him.

Squeezing the base of his dick Mac finally took him deep into her mouth, rolling her tongue around him as much as his size allowed. Then she started to suck in earnest, alternating with sliding him in and out of her mouth, and just the sight of her hovering over him, her dark head bobbing up and down, giving him a fucking _blow job_ , almost made him come.

„Jesus, Mac.... _fuck_!“ His desperate tone made her giggle around his length. The vibrations added to the sensations, making him moan even louder, and it took all his will power to not thrust up into her mouth. She had always been an expert at giving blow jobs and right now she was pulling every weapon from her arsenal. Stroking, licking, sucking, flicking, squeezing... He couldn't remember ever having been so desperate to come, and yet he wasn't allowed to as Mac had made clear.

Finally she seemed to take pity on him and let him slide out of her mouth, but then she couldn't resist to stroke along the pulsating vein underneath to his balls for a gentle squeeze while exhaling hot air over the tip of his erection at the same time, and he again almost, _almost_ came right then and there.

Mac however had other plans for him and straightened herself up. With a smug grin she looked down at Will who was breathing heavily, his fingers still grasping the sheets and beads of sweat gathering on his forehead.

Giving him just a second to gain back some of his composure she quickly rid him of his shorts, divesting herself of her panties and bra at the same time. Then she moved upward again for a throrough kiss before sitting back on his thighs once more and circling her fingers around his nipples.

„Are you ready?“

Will opened his eyes, dark and glazed over with arousal, not capable of actually speaking. All he could manage was a breathless „Uh-huh...“, at which Mac lifted herself up and sank down on his shaft with a relieved sigh. She was already so wet that he slid in to his hilt, and they both groaned at the incredible feeling. „God, you're so tight... so wet...“

Bracing herself on his chest Mac started to slowly move up and down, getting used to him inside her again. Being on top of him always made her feel so full and no other position seemed to allow him to enter her so deeply. Arching her back she then supported herself against his thighs while speeding up, fully aware that Will was captivated by the sight of his cock moving in and out of her.

Finally he couldn't resist any longer; Mac on top of him, riding him with a blissful expression on her face and her breasts bouncing in rhythm with her movements was just too much. Without a conscious thought his hands went up to cup them, his thumbs stroking the pink nipples, and this unexpected contact had Mac moan loudly. She could feel herself getting closer and moved her right hand up front to rub her clit. „Fuck, Will... so good...“

Not being able to hold back anymore he moved his hands down to her waist for purchase and started thrusting into her. Sweat was starting to cover her flushed chest, and when she felt her inner muscles starting to contract she increased the pressure on her nub and whimpered „Now, Will, now... come inside me!“

These words were all it took. With a guttural groan he frantically drove into her a couple more times before holding himself deep inside her until he was utterly spent. Panting for air he caught Mac in his arms who had fallen apart around him with his name on her lips and now simply crushed down onto his chest. Completely worn out she literally molded into him, not capable of moving a finger and desperately trying to catch her breath.

„Wow...“ Will finally managed to say, the only word his brain seemed to be able to come up with at that moment. „That was... _wow_...“  
Being completely exhausted Mac just chuckled weakly, her ear pressed to his heart she could still hear beating as rapidly as her own.

Only after a long time she eventually was able to move again and glided off him to nestle into his side. Will didn't intend to let her go and turned so that he could keep her in his arms, one hand stroking her back while the other one played with her hair.

Neither of them said anything, and he held her until she drifted off to sleep, quite certain he heard her quietly murmering „Thank you“ once more.

When he woke up the next morning she was gone.

 


	4. Friends with Benefits

**Friends with Benefits**

Waking up Mac found herself in a cocoon of comfort and safety. With a happy sigh she snuggled deeper into her pillow, not yet ready to trade the warmth for the inevitable chill once she got out from under her covers. Five minutes, she surely had at least five more minutes before she had to get up?

Changing her position slightly once more she suddenly frowned. Wasn't her pillow normally softer? And what was this heat source right here under her blanket?

Then she remembered. She wasn't at home, in her own bed! She had gone to Will's place last night and they'd had the most amazing sex... But why was she still here?

Slowly opening her eyes she found herself huddled up against Will's chest. She must have fallen asleep afterwards, shit! The one thing she absolutely did not want to do!  
  
For a moment she froze in place, but then she knew that she had to go. Before he woke up; she could not face him right now.  
Carefully she started to untangle her legs and slid out from under his arm, trying not to wake him up. Instantly she missed being so close to him and was tempted to just get back into bed, but she didn't have a choice.

She decided not to waist any time in the bathroom but just grabbed her clothes that lay rumpled on the floor in front of his bed and went towards the door. Before leaving the room she turned around and looked back at Will, who was still sleeping peacefully. Her heart was about to burst with the sudden surge of love she felt for this man, and she knew without a doubt that last night had been a huge mistake. As much as she had needed it in that moment, it had been much too intimate.

With a tear in her eye she went into the living room, where she quickly got dressed, picked up her purse and her jacket and quietly left his apartment. Outside of his building she hailed a cab, which luckily wasn't too difficult this early in the morning, and gave the driver her address, not caring that he could probably guess what she had been up to by the early hour and the way she looked.

With her head falling back against the seat she couldn't help but think back to the previous night...

Will had been so wonderful.  
The way he had sensed that something more than pure stress was haunting her, his genuine interest in what had happened in Pakistan and the incredible tenderness with which he caressed her and especially the scar afterwards... All this just reminded her once more why she had fallen in love with him in the first place, and it was so good to see that this man was still there, underneath all these layers he had put on to protect his feelings.

She knew it was her fault that they existed at all. Before he had always been so considerate, gentle and caring that to this day she still didn't fully understand why she had ever felt the need to go back to Brian... Back then it had seemed like something she had to do, but in hindsight she recognized how he had manipulated her, used her vulnerability after their breakup when she was not yet secure in her new relationship with Will. Brian had somehow made her believe that she wanted _him_ back and that Will was just a tool to get back at him... Oh, how much she hated herself for having let it happen!

And now?  
She was not only still in love with Will, she was falling for him all over again, her feelings for him only getting stronger with each passing day.

It had felt so good to talk about what had happened in Pakistan, to finally be able to share it with him, although it was not easy for her to talk about it. In the years that had passed since the stabbing she had been so afraid of the nightmares she usually had around this time, last night being no different, but instead of waking up screaming and bathed in sweat she had slept peacefully in Will's arms, feeling safe and protected.

How she wished she could have stayed in his arms this morning, to wake up with him, cuddle with him, even make out a little like they so often had done in the mornings... Maybe she just should have, but no...  
Who knew how Will would have reacted to finding her in his bed? Right now she wasn't capable of letting him treat her like a one night stand, uttering some pseudo-polite phrases and hoping she would leave as soon as possible...

Mac sighed. She knew, she had given herself the promise before, but she _really_ had to stop seeing him this way, or she would never recover once this arrangement they had, purely based on sex, was over... And she would! She only had to get through the next weeks until the election was over, and even though they wouldn't be done with the fall out from Genoa by then, at least she wouldn't have to fight on so many different fronts anymore.

For now she would just go home, take a long, hot shower and then head to the office, trying to get through another day of working next to Will as if nothing had happened.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Will entered the bullpen that morning he was in a bad mood and it showed, so everybody happening to look at him or walk into his direction quickly decided they had something much more important to do in another part of the room.

He reached his office without having been approached by anybody, and after taking off his coat he sat down at his desk, only to get up a few seconds later and pace up and down.

When he had woken up this morning he had felt incredibly disappointed that Mac wasn't there anymore. He had been so happy when she had stayed close to him and even fell asleep in his arms, and he really felt they had taken a step in the right direction the previous night. He didn't know where it would lead or even where he _wanted_ it to lead, but at least he hadn't been terrified of moving forward anymore. Apparently though he was trying to work through his feelings for nothing; Mac didn't want anything to change.

Suddenly he stopped his movements, and having come to a decision he burst out of his office and strode over to Mac's. Not bothering to knock he entered and placed himself in front of her desk, startling her although she tried not to let him see it. Casually leaning back in her chair she placed the cap on her highlighter and looked up at him. „Good morning, Will.“

„Is it?“

Mac frowned and raised an eyebrow, but didn't reply. Will looked angry, but she had no idea as to why and rather didn't say anything until she knew more.

„I was hoping to see you this morning...“

Now she was stunned, but somehow managed not to let it show on her face. Her thoughts were racing trying to figure out what he meant by this, and she carefully chose her words. „I am right here, like every morning:“

„You know exactly what I mean, Mac. Why did you sneak out?“

For a moment she held her breath, but then, with a sideglance to the open door, she hissed „I didn't sneak out. I had to leave.“

„Why?“ Will demanded to know, evidently not caring about anybody hearing him, and if she didn't know better, she would have sworn that for just a second he had seemed hurt by her words. Dismissing this thought immediately she gave the most logical explanation that was also part of the truth. „I had to go home to change, I couldn't show up here in the same clothes as yesterday, could I?“

This seemed to calm him down a little, but he was obviously not completely satisfied. „Still, you could have woken me up...“

Mac's eyes got almost imperceptibly bigger. „Why should I have...? You didn't even stir when I got up, so I thought I'd better let you sleep. I'm... sorry?“

The last words unintentionally sounded like a question, but she had really no idea what had gotten into Will and how to react to him. Why the hell would he have wanted her to stay?

Will sensed that Mac hadn't told him the whole story and felt a sharp twinge inside. Obviously even after last night, after talking about what had happened to her in the Middle East, after assuring her that nothing would ever make her less attractive to him, and despite of all the emotions that had been part of their love making, she still hadn't been able to face him afterwards but had to tiptoe away.  
After last night he had been hoping that she maybe wanted more from him than just sex, but evidently he had been wrong.

„Okay....Okay, I get it... But for the record: I would have prefered it if you hadn't left...“ With these words he turned around and walked away, leaving a slack-jawed Mac behind.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

Was he starting to feel more for her? Was it his way of letting her know that he wanted to be with her again?  
Or had he maybe just been looking forward to another round of sex before heading into work?

She cursed herself for her cowardness, but she just didn't dare ask him, too great was her fear of opening up to him and then being rejected, messing up this 'sort of-relationship' they had in- and outside the office in the process...

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As before they continued their now once more purely professional relationship over the next days, until about a week later, Will got a call from Millie, Charlie's secretary, in the early afternoon. She asked for Mac and him to come upstairs to see their boss in his office immediately.

Will knew that Charlie was aware of the fact that the first rundown meeting was about to start, so it had to be fairly important. He quickly went over to Mac's office to get her, and on their way to the elevator they asked Jim to start the meeting without them in case they shouldn't be back by then.

When they entered the empty car to ride up to the 44th floor, Mac turned to him. „Do you know what he wants?“

Will shook his head. „No, Millie didn't say.“

She sighed. „I hope it's not taking too long, I have so much to do today. Another endless meeting with graphics to get the election coverage going, HR wants to see me about finally changing Jenna's internship into a full position, I still have to convince the senator to come on the show tonight, Gary wants to speak to me before the rundown...“

Will sensed an undertone of more than the ususal stress in her voice. „Mac, are you alright?“

„Yeah, sure...“ She shrugged. „It's just another crazy day at the office...“  
Right that moment the elevator doors opened and they stepped out. Millie waved them right through, and after a courtesy knock they entered Charlie's office.

„Aah, how's my favourite news team today?“  
Will startled a little at this greeting. Sure, Charlie was always jovial, but today his tone sounded a bit strained. Mac seemingly hadn't noticed but looked at her watch. „What's up, Charlie? We need to get back down for the rundown meeting.“

„Sit down, you two... Drink?“ Both of them shook their head but took a seat in front of his desk, looking at him attentively. Charlie leaned back in his chair and hesitated for a moment before he started to speak. „You know the saying that when you're just starting to congratulate yourself on surviving, the shit comes back to hit the fan?“

„What the...? Stop beating around the bush, Charlie. Why did you call us up here?“

Sighing Charlie looked from Will to Mac and back to his anchor. „Jerry Dantana...“

Mac's head shot up. „What about him?“

„It seems that he's not satisfied with just sueing ACN anymore but he has now filed individual lawsuits against you, me and Will for wrongful termination and institutional failure... I'm sorry, Mac.“ Charlie sympathetically looked at Mac, who had paled, while Will absently nodded. „I know we were all just getting back on the fucking horse, but I guess, this was to be expected... Will?“

„Yeah, you're right, we should have expected it... I think I'd like that drink now, and get one for Mac, too...“

„I don't need...“ Mac started to protest, but Will didn't let her finish.

„Yes, you do. You look like you're going to keel over... Do we need to get a lawyer, Charlie?“

His boss shook his head while starting to fill three glasses. „Leona has hired Rebecca Halliday, she will represent all of us... That is if we're all in this together and one party won't be trying to shift culpability to the others in this room?“

Before Mac could start shouldering all the blame again Will quickly agreed with him. „Of course not. It was a mutual decision of the president of the news division, the managing editor as well as the executive producer of Newsnight to air the story and to fire Dantana in the aftermath.“

„No, it was not!“ Mac flared. „ _I_ didn't notice the altered raw footage and _I_ fired Jerry without even talking to either of you. It's all my fault, and you shouldn't even be bothered with it!“

Will opened his mouth to answer her directly but then tiredly looked at Charlie instead. „Would you _please_ tell her it was _not_ her fault and that either one of us would have fired Jerry if we had noticed his tempering and gotten to him first? We've been through this a hundred times already but she just doesn't believe me.“

„What he said...“ Charlie avoided repeating everything and waved his hand. „Mac, we're a team, and we're standing by you just as much as you're standing by us, and not only because Will is right. Hell, _we_ have to thank _you_ for noticing the alteration of the footage in the first place, or we would still be wondering where we had gone wrong!“ He sighed.  
„For now let's wait what Rebecca has to say. She'll schedule first interviews with all staffers included in Genoa; Millie will let you know when it's your turn. Same with the others, but you can let them know already what is coming. Cheers...“ With this he drowned his drink with Will following suit, while Mac put her glass back on the table untouched and got up. „I've got a show to run. See you downstairs, Will. Charlie.“

With a nod in her boss' direction she left the room and Will sighed. „You know that she'll take it hard, right? She's still convinced it's all her fault...“

„Well, we know what this sorry excuse of a producer did with the raw footage, and he won't get out of that, but he's going for a huge settlement because he was the only one fired. And you can probably guess which one of us his lawyers will most likely go after...“

„ _Dammit!_ “ Will cursed. „She was _just_ starting to get over this whole fucking mess, and now he's dragging her down again. Look at her, she's still beating herself up over this!

Charlie, a little surprised by this passionate rant, raised his eyebrows and looked at him thoughtfully. „Unfortunately she is, but we'll be there for her... Is there anything else you might like to talk to me about?“

„You bet there is! I'd like to take this bastard and rip his heart out, throw it into an oven pre-heated to 450 degrees, add some of his fucking ribs and serve it to Mac on a bed of rice, all nice and tender!“

At this Charlie grinned to himself and secretly wondered if Will was aware of the fact that these were almost the exact same words he had used about two years ago, when he had told him why he couldn't forgive Mac for what she had done to him. „Well, that would solve Mac's and my problem, but then we'd have to look for a new anchor, so please refrain from it?“

„Yeah, yeah...“ Will waved him off. „It's just... It's all gonna come up again, and now that it's not only a big, anonymous company anymore that's being sued but actual people are involved, it will be even more interesting to the gossip rags... And you know they're going to drag up all the old shit from our past again!“

Charlie sighed. „I know, Will, and I'm sorry. But honestly? That would also have come up if it had only been ACN.“

His only response was a groan. „I know... Listen, I'd better get back downstairs... Keep me in the loop, okay?“

„Sure. Have a good show tonight.“

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After Will had left Charlie he slipped into the rundown meeting that was already well on its way. Mac ran it with her usual authority and as efficiently as always, but he could see that she was tense and not there one hundred percent.

When she dismissed the staff he followed her to her office and sat down in front of her desk. „How are you, Mac?“

„Oh, just peachy...“ she deadpanned.

„Mac..“

„Look, Will, you said it yourself, it was to be expected. We'll be all over the tabloids with our dirty laundry again, and even serious media will feast on it this time. Newsnight will probably never recover and to prevent this there is only one solution: You _have to_ fire me, Will!“

Suddenly Will got angry. „I won't even discuss this, Mac. I will _not_ fire you and neither will you resign. Where's the Mac I know and l... Where's your spirit to fight this injustice? Dantana doctored the tape, and that's all this is. _He's_ the bad guy here, so don't you dare give up pre-emptively! If – and that's a big if – _if_ Dantana wins then we will both resign, but not a day earlier.“

„Will...“ Mac sounded tired, having had this argument over and over before. „We need to get the show off the ground again, and if we can do that by me leaving, than that's the way to go. If I am fired, there's no institutional failure, and Dantana will not have a case.“

„No, and that's it. I will not fire you, so deal with it.“ With this Will stormed out and into his own office.  
He would not let Mac be the scapegoat!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A few days later the staff meetings with Rebecca began, with Charlie, Will and Mac being the last to be interviewed.

Rebecca had to consider their working hours, so the appointments were set either early in the morning or late at night after the show. One evening, when it was Mac's first turn, Will decided to wait until she was finished and sat on the floor outside of the conference room. Maggie's interview had just been finished before, and, as Mac's protégé, she had insisted to wait with him until she was through, but after a while he had sent her home to get some sleep.

Being a lawyer he knew what to expect from all this, but it wasn't Mac's element and he was quite certain that she was scared. He had seen her stress level go up over the last days, and once again he cursed Jerry fucking Dantana for inflicting this much pain on her. Wouldn't it have been enough to sue ACN and him? Did he have to include Mac in all this?

When Mac finally came out the room she found Will sitting on the floor, his head leaning back against the wall and his eyes closed. Rebecca had already told her that he was waiting for her, and seeing it with her own eyes a warm feeling of gratitude was spreading through her body.

„Will! It's past one in the morning, what are you doing here?“

Will startled and scrambled onto his feet, looking at her a little sheepishly. „I wanted to see how you're doing and make sure you get home safe... How did it go?“

Mac sighed. „It was just basic stuff for now - name, rank and serial number, so to speak. But there are lots of meetings to come, Rebecca already warned me.“

They started walking down the hall, but Will couldn't take his eyes off her. „I know, we'll have to meet with her a lot more often before this is over. And Mac... you look exhausted... Do you need....“ He didn't want to use their catchphrase to not pressure her. „...coffee?“

Mac stopped and looked at him for a moment with her lower lip between her teeth, knowing exactly what he was asking her, but then put on a smile. „No, thank you, Will. I'm fine, I just want to sleep.“

„Are you sure?“ Will had no idea why he didn't drop the subject, it was not like _he_ wanted a cup of Joe... But he had to make sure that she was really alright.

„Positive. Let's go find a cab, then you can drop me off at home.“

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Over the next week Will made it a habit to wait for Mac until Rebecca was finished with her, although Mac insisted he'd go home to get his beauty sleep. After the first time he had begun to bring decaff in a Thermos for her which most of the time she gladly excepted, but he never offered her 'a cup of Joe' again.

Mac appreciated his concern, and although the stress resulting from the meetings with Rebecca on top of everything else started to get to her again, she could still handle it. And she was glad about it, after all she had promised herself once more to not ask Will for help. She was a grown woman and shouldn't just run to her ex-boyfriend every time she had a problem.

Her conviction was starting to falter though when with every new meeting it became clearer that she was in the center of everything. Rebecca didn't say it out loud, but there was no question that she believed Dantana's lawyers would think of Mac as the weak spot and do anything to portray her as incompetent, revengeful and trying to save her own ass.

Mac knew that she was a liablility and that she needed to go. But Leona had made it clear to all of them that she would not accept anybody's resignation, so somehow she had to get Will to fire her... She just didn't have a clue as to how...

Every time she approached that subject he brushed her off, and a part of her was happy about the fact that he seemed to care enough about her to not let her go. But the other part, smaller but all the more insistent, was screaming at her that she had to leave. Didn't Will see that it was the only way to save Newsnight and his own career?

Every spare minute she had that she wasn't thinking about Will and herself was spent planning how she could get him to fire her. But not only didn't she come closer to a solution, but with every passing day she realized more and more that she did not _want_ to leave him.

She would do it, of course, to save him and the show from going down, but at the same time she knew that it would break her heart.  
She was drowning again, and it would be so easy to just ask Will for help, but no... Not only was he a part of her problem but she couldn't give in to the temptation this time, not while she was so close to never seeing him again. She was already emotionally caught up in all of this too much.

Mac knew that this whole affair wasn't just 'friends with benefits' anymore, it had turned to much more, maybe subconsciously even had been from the beginning. Had she managed to get up and go to her room the first time, she now liked to cuddle with him afterwards, and the last time they had even fallen asleep together.

She had become good at pretending, but she was sure that now was the time to stop. She wouldn't call Will anymore, not matter how much she wanted to. She had tried to keep her heart out of it, but she had to admit that she had been lying to herself – and Will – all this time.

Without her love for him this whole arrangement wouldn't have worked. And no matter how stressed she had been, without her love for him she would never have asked him for 'a cup of Joe' in the first place. But it had been so much easier to pretend that she could deal with a purely physical relationship than to admit that only her feelings had enabled her to take this step.

Obviously it wasn't more than a physical thing for Will, even though he had sent mixed signals when he had come into her office after they had spent the night at his apartment. He had never mentioned it again after that, not to speak any of their previous encounters, and that spoke volumes. He didn't have any feelings for her except friendship. He couldn't have or he would have said _something_.

She had to start getting used to dealing with things without Will again.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Will was worried about MacKenzie.  
He was still mad at her for apparently just seeing him as a sex toy she could take out of its box whenever needed. But still he couldn't help but notice that she was even paler than usual, had dark shadows under her eyes again and seemed to have lost even more weight over the last days.

And he missed her. As much as he hated to admit it, he really missed her.

He told himself it was only the hot sex he was longing for, but deep inside he knew that it was more; that he missed being with her, missed _being there_ for her, missed just being able to hold and support her. He missed knowing that she trusted him so much that she could let go completely. He missed knowing that he was the one she turned to when she needed help. And he missed teasing her and laughing with her, although the latter hadn't happened for a long time now, and he was self-aware enough to know that, apart from Genoa, he was also to blame for that.

He found that more and more his thoughts went back to their time as a couple, remembering their playful banters, cozy evenings in front of the fireplace, dinners and brunches and long, passionate weekends in bed.  
And he started to realize, that this was what he wanted again, but at the same time he still wasn't sure if he could trust her. He knew that he wouldn't be able to survive another betrayal, but nonetheless he missed her. And so, a couple days later he decided to take the initiative this time.

He did not even pretend to do it solely for Mac's own good, because she really needed to unwind again but seemed determined not to ask him for help. No, he admitted that he was also doing it because he simply wanted to.

He intended to ask her in her office, but once standing in front of her, nervous like hell, he found that he couldn't do it, not face to face. Making up a semi-intelligent reason for why he had come in he turned to leave, but then he looked her over and really didn't like the picture in front of him. „See to it that you get home early tonight. You need to sleep, Mac.“

She sighed. „I wish, but I have to go and meet Rebecca again.“

„I'll cancel for you. You're in no shape for legal talk; she can bother somebody else tonight.“

„But...“

„No but, I'll take care of it.“ With this he turned around and left the room, not even waiting for her consent and leaving her at a loss of words.

Mac was actually angry that he just assumed he knew what was best for her, but then again she thought it was sweet that he cared. And if she was honest with herself, she had to admit that she would really like to get home at a decent hour for a change, so she wouldn't make a fuss about it.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Later that night during the last break of the show Will finally took heart and spoke into his microphone. „Mac... I could use a cup of Joe, please?“

Mac breath hitched and she froze. Disbelievingly she stared at Will's image on the screen in front of her, innocently looking into the camera. She seriously hadn't expected Will to ever use their codeword himself, and for a moment she was speechless. She almost automatically wanted to decline, but then she remembered that after the first time she had promised to be there for him in case he ever needed anything...

„Mac?“

Closing her eyes for a split second she took a deep breath. „Ehm... Y... yeah, sure, Will. Jim, would you let Jenna know, please?“ Her senior producer nodded and a few moments later she saw the young girl walking into the studio and handing Will a cup of coffee. He thanked her, took a large sip and then put the cup under the desk so that the viewers wouldn't be able to see it.

„Thanks, Mac.“

„Back in ten.“

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
After the show Mac went home to shower and change before taking a cab to Will's apartment. She still wasn't happy with the situation, certain that it would bring only more heartbreak, but she had made a promise and intended to keep it.

When she rode up the elevator and stepped into the living room she stopped at the sight of the nicely laid dinner table. „Will?“

Immediately his head popped out of the kitchen and he smiled. „Hey! Why don't you lose your coat and take a seat, dinner will be ready in a minute.“

Mac had certainly not expected this and was stunned. Slowly she took off her coat and then went into the kitchen. „Will? What's all that about?“

Looking up from the pot he was just stirring in she saw the same innocent expression on his face he had already sported in the studio. „Just a little something to eat, Mac. We both had a long day and I'm sure you can use it as much as I do.“ Mac started to say something but he interrupted her and nodded in the direction of some bottles. „Would you take the wine out to the living room? I'll be right with you.“

Mac hated to be overrun and have other people make decisions for her, and just on principle she wanted to object, but then she realized that she was indeed hungry and grabbed a bottle, not without shooting an annoyed glance into Will's direction.

However, once she had filled their glasses and relaxed into a chair, hearing Will putter around in the kitchen gave her a comfortable feeling of being at home, something she hadn't experienced in a long time. Taking a nip from the wine she suddenly looked forward to a decent, home-cooked meal and even smiled when Will came towards her with a couple of plates in his hand.  
„That smells delicious. Wait, is that...?“

He grinned and nodded. „Yep, my infamous Macaroni and Cheese...“

Mac felt her mouth water. Will's Mac 'n Cheese weren't just Mac 'n Cheese. He made them after his mother's recipe which required a secret ingredient he'd never shared with anybody, not even her. She simply loved this dish and Will knew it, he'd probably just made it to make sure she really ate, and right now she honestly didn't give a damn.

„Mmmh... You're too good to me...“ Taking the first bite Mac appreciatively closed her eyes and moaned. „This is so delicious.“

Will looked at her and swallowed. God, how he missed the way Mac could enjoy even the smallest things. „Yeah, I thought you'd like it... So, were you satisfied with the show tonight?“

„Mmh... But please, no talk of work tonight?“ Mac knew that this would surprise Will as she always liked to talk about the news and their show, but right now she found herself in a comfort zone she really didn't want to leave. „How are your sisters?“

„Oh, they're doing good. I haven't seen them in a while but we keep in touch and they're always sending pictures of the kids. Rachel has started Junior High and Jason made the baseball team last year."

Mac smiled and winked. „That talent seems to run in the family...“

Will shrugged. „I just hope he takes better care of his joints than I did... How are your parents?“

She took another bite and chewed before answering. „They are getting older, but they are doing fine. Mom's the same ol' bundle of energy that she's always been, and since Dad retired they spend a lot of time at Gaynour Hall.“

Will nodded, remembering the McHale's impressive country house they had visited during one of their stays with Mac's parents. „He must love that he has more time for his books and the garden.“

„He does, and Mom can get more involved in her charities out there now. As long as she gets back to London to go shopping once in a while she's happy.“

„I bet!“ Will laughed, thinking back to the extensive shopping tour he was dragged on by Claire McHale and Mac, at the end of which he had felt more like a pack donkey than Mac's boyfriend. He saw that Mac grinned, probably thinking back to the same day. „How's your dad? Healthwise, I mean.“ He knew that Edward McHale had had some heart problems in the last years.

„He's doing good right now. It certainly helps that he doesn't have to live in dangerous places and talk to dictators and war lords anymore... Though the Foreign Ministry does try to get him to sign on for special assignments every once in a while. So far Mom has put her foot down on that, though.“

He nodded. „I can imagine. I'm glad they are okay.“

„Yeah, me too...“  
They both concentrated on their food again until finally Mac leaned back in her chair with a content sigh. „That was great... I really miss your cooking...“

At this Will shortly looked up from his plate, but didn't say anything until he was finished himself. „Are you done or do you want some more?“

„No thanks, I'm stuffed.“

„Okay then.“ He got up to carry the plates back into the kitchen and Mac followed him with the glasses and the wine. She was surprised how easy their conversation had flowed and was glad that there hadn't been any awkward moments between them.  
Now though she started to feel a little uncomfortable at what was about to come. After a moment she therefore purposefully repeated the question he had asked her the first time. „What do you want, Will?“

He turned around, catching her eyes with his, and smiled. „We both had a hard day, hell, a hard _week_ , and now I just want to make love to you.“

Mac swallowed and her whole body started to tingle. The way he looked at her, and the way he had said it... Not 'I want to sleep with you' or 'Let's have sex'. No, he wanted to _make love_ to her, and at this the small part of resistance inside her, resulting from her previous determination not to be with Will again, started to melt. After a moment she nodded. „Okay...“

Taking his hand she led him down the now familiar way to his bedroom but didn't turn on the ceiling lamp. The lights of the city illuminated the room enough to see that Will's eyes had darkened and his gaze was fixed on hers.

Lifting his hands he ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her in to press gentle kisses to her forehead, her eyes and her nose before covering her lips with his mouth. Softly moving his lips against hers and nibbling on her bottom lip he then requested entrance with his tongue which she gladly granted.  
Moaning he pushed inside and was once more captivated by the taste that was so typically Mac, this time mixed with a hint of wine and cheese.

Pulling her closer he ground into her while Mac let her arms slide down from his biceps to his arse to feel him even more. Sighing into his mouth she moved her tongue against his and was overwhelmed by the tenderness of the kiss. This wasn't going to be like the hot fucks before, this really was the lovemaking she had missed so much all these years.

With the sudden urge to touch his skin she pulled up his shirt and stroke her hands up and down his back while their tongues continued to play. Leisurely they circled around each other, teasing the other with their tips and eliciting deep moans on both sides.

After what seemed like ages of just kissing Will finally moved his hands down and started to unbutton Mac's blouse, his lips never leaving hers. Once he had rid her of the top his mouth trailed down to her neck, placing soft kisses along the way until he reached her pulse point where he lingered for a moment, gently sucking and nibbling on her skin.

„Will....“ moaned Mac, tilting her head to provide better access and running her hands through his hair.

„Patience, MacKenzie, tonight I want it to be slow...“

At this Mac sighed and pulled Will's head up for another kiss to which he happily obliged. Simultaneously he raised his hands to her breasts and started circling her already hardened nipples through the fabric of her bra. The feeling under his fingers however made him pull away from her lips, and he took a small step back.

At the sight of Mac dressed in sexy black lace he held his breath and was almost dazed for a moment, before he managed to move his hands around her to undo the zipper of her skirt and let it drop to the floor. Of course she was wearing the matching panties, and all Will could do was stare at her and drink in the beauty in front of him.  
He knew that she usually didn't wear this kind of underwear to work, so she must have changed into it afterwards, _for him_ , and this thought drove any doubt he might have had about whether he was doing the right thing from his mind.

Exhaling slowly he finally sank down to his knees and let his hands glide down her body, over the silky softness of her stomach, the gorgeous curves of her hips and her endless legs. Leaning forward he placed an almost chaste kiss to her belly button and devoutly murmered „You are so beautiful, MacKenzie...“

While he continued to caress her abdomen, his hands cupping her behind, Mac bit her lip to stifle a sob and tried to hold back her tears so that Will wouldn't notice. Since they had started seeing each other again he had never told her that she was beautiful. Sexy, yes, and he had also shown that he still wanted her, but never this, and it touched her more than she would have thought possible.

When she felt Will pulling down her panties heat started pooling in her stomach, and her breath quickened. Without a conscious thought she placed her hands on his head to hold him right where he was, yearning for contact, and sure enough he did return his attention there once she had stepped out of her knickers that now joined her skirt and blouse on the floor.

Slightly turning her around he encouraged her to sit down on the bed and lie down while he gently parted her legs and let his hands run up and down their length. Kneeling between them on the plush carpet he started by placing tender kisses along the soft skin of her inner thighs before moving up to her center where he could already smell her arousal.

His hands were now holding her hips to pull her closer, and with a feral groan he let his tongue dive in between her folds to taste her. She was so wet already, and at the first touch she moaned loudly, her hips bucking into him, but he put one arm across her hips to hold her down and quickly looked up.  
„Easy there... What did you say last time? I haven't even started yet...“

At this Mac let out a desperate groan. „Please, Will...“

„Patience...“ He mumbled and moved his lips up while his free hand replaced his tongue which now circled around her clit, only causing her to moan even more. Will had always loved vocal Mac and therefore even intensified his teasing. Alternating between circling, licking and sucking her nub with abandon he let his finger slide inside her and was rewarded with a sharp cry.  
It only took a few movements and a slight twist before Mac came tumbling down. With an awestruck expression on his face he watched her writhing on his bed, uttering his name over and over while his finger was still curled against the rough patch inside her, and her inner walls undulated around it.

Bringing her down gently he finally removed his hand and for a moment he just watched Mac who was breathing heavily, completely limp with an arm covering her eyes and trying to regain control. Then he pushed himself up onto the bed to lie beside her and tenderly caressed her stomach before sliding his hand around her back to open the clasp of her bra and pulling it off.

Leaning forward he licked along the swelling of her breasts before gently starting to suck at the sensitive skin. Alternating between left and right he then circled the puckered skin of her nipples with his tongue with an occasional suck in between, causing Mac to actually whimper at the sensations spreading through her again. „Will, I need... I need you...“

Placing her hands on the sides of his head she pulled him up for a searing kiss. The thought that she could taste herself in his mouth suddenly multiplied his own arousal tenfold, and all he could think of was that he needed to be inside her. Now.

Without breaking the kiss he opened his pants and shoved them down, shaking them off together with his boxers. His swollen cock darted out and pressed insistently against Mac's hip. Letting her hand slide down she touched him, but before she could do anything else Will grabbed her wrist and panted „Don't do that if you still have other plans... Scoot up.“

Quickly Mac wiggled herself upwards until her head came to rest on the pillow and parted her legs, not able to wait any longer for him to finally be inside her. Will had followed her move, and with another kiss he settled between them. When he started to slowly push they both gasped at the feeling, any sound being absorbed by their mouths fused together.

Giving her time to adjust to his size Will gradually entered her further until he was completely sheathed by her incredible tightness. With a deep groan he slowly pulled back almost all the way before driving back in, finding a slow, steady rhythm that served them both.

Leaning on his elbows with his hands in Mac's hair Will broke the kiss and let his lips trail down to her neck, the hot air hitting her skin with every breath only arousing her more. Wrapping her legs around his waist she let her hands slide to his back, and with every thrust she dug her nails into his skin, the sharp pain adding to the overwhelming sensations swirling through him.

Mac was thoroughly tempted to push Will into going faster, but at the same time she wanted to prolong this act of love and delay the inevitable, so she just followed his lead and let him set the pace with his long, measured strokes. Every movement was so incredibly tender and she couldn't stop a strangled sob escaping her lips. „Will...!“

„Mac...!“ was his muffled echo, his head still in the crook of her neck. „I'm so close...“

„Yes, yes... Me, too... God, Will...“ Just like him she now buried her head in his shoulder, and when she felt her inner muscles starting to clamp around him she screamed before sinking her teeth into his skin to silence herself. This was all Will could take and with one last, slightly harder thrust he came deep inside her, moaning her name over and over.

Completely spent he crashed down on her and even in her blissful state Mac revelled in feeling his weight on top of her, a promise that she was safe in his arms, that he would protect her and always be there for her.

Minutes later, when they both had their breathing under control again, Will finally rolled off her, but didn't let go. Pulling her with him she came to rest on top of him, and without a second thought he let his hands slide around her waist to hold her close.  
Not minding this at all Mac snuggled into him, and when he pulled a blanket over them she felt like she could stay right here forever.

A few minutes later Will slightly lifted his head to press a kiss to her forehead. „Thank you, Mac...“

„Mmmmh....“ Too content and tired to even try to speak she just hummed, but his next question suddenly made her heart beat faster.

„Stay?“

After a short moment Mac nodded and gently locked her fingers with his.  
Right this moment there was nothing she rather wanted to do, and she had finally come to also accept what she had known for a while now:

This was more than just friends helping each other out, and she realized it also applied to Will. It had to or he wouldn't be this gentle and caring, wouldn't want her to spend the whole night, wouldn't want to simply hold her.

Now it was his turn to just figure it out.

 


	5. Family

**Family**

This time when Mac woke up in Will's bed she immediately remembered.  
He had asked her to stay the night and she had agreed, and feeling him snuggled up against her she didn't regret it. This felt so unbelievably right, so much like home, like where she belonged.

But she didn't even want to think back to the old times, this was now and there was no sense in drawing comparisons. She would simply enjoy it as long as it would last.

A glance at the alarm showed her that it was still early, and with a satisfied sigh she snuggled back into the pillow and closed her eyes to get a little more sleep, fully aware of Will's comforting arm that was holding her.

The next time she woke up he wasn't just embracing her but she felt his hand softly moving over her stomach, while her rear was in contact with his already hard length. For a moment she just relished his gentle touches, not being able to hide a small smile, before she moved her hand to entangle her fingers with his, softly mumbling „Good morning.“

Promptly she felt Will move even closer and her smile grew bigger when his lips pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder. „Good morning... Did you sleep well?“

„Mmmh... I did. What about you?“

„Same here.“ Will raised his hand to push Mac's hair aside and let his lips wander up her neck. She appreciatively closed her eyes, but not before noticing the alarm clock out of the corner of her eyes. _Damn!_

She kept her eyes closed for just a second before moaning „Will, as lovely as this is, we don't have time...“

He sighed, but then she felt him smile against her skin. „Why don't we take this into the shower, that'll save us some time.“

„You wish!“ Mac giggled, clearly remembering that a couple's shower had caused them to be late for work on more than one occasion in the past. „But I actually _could_ use a shower...“ She turned her head to give him a soft kiss. „Come with me.“

Sliding out of the bed she held on to his hand and, naked as she was, pulled him with her. Eagerly following her Will put his free hand around her waist and basically tippytoed right behind her, causing her to chuckle again.

Entering the bathroom she stopped and looked around in amazement. „Wow... This is huge! Last time I was in here I didn't realize that your shower alone is bigger than my complete bath!“  
Not wanting to think back to the night when she had found Will on his bathroom floor, covered in his own blood, she quickly turned around in his arms. Pressing a hot kiss to his broad chest she looked up at him seductively. „Would you maybe like to... scrub my back?“

Will put his hands on her waist and grinned. „I think I can just about manage that...“  
He started moving again and directed her right into the walk-in shower with her back first. After turning on the water and adjusting the temperature he placed her under the warm spray before leaning in to cover her lips with his, shielding her face from the water in the process.

Mac was literally melting into this kiss. She had never been with a man who could be so taken up in kissing like Will, who was just kissing for the sake of kissing, not as a means to a higher end.

Right now he was thoroughly exploring her mouth, sliding his tongue alongside hers, pulling back to only nibble on her lower lip, then the upper lip and then diving right back in with his tongue. Tiny moans escaped her repeatedly, every single one of them encouraging him even more. Finally she lifted her hands into his wet hair and broke the kiss, panting already. „Will... time...“

With a disappointed groan Will let go of her lips and reached for the shower gel, not being able to hide a smug grin when he noticed Mac's swollen lips and how breathless his kisses had left her. Not that he was doing any better; kissing MacKenzie had always felt like heaven to him. Her incredible little mouth, the softness of her lips, the smoothness of her tongue, her unique flavor; it was simply a perfect combination.

While Mac tilted her head back to let the water run down her face and body Will squeezed some gel on his hands and started to run them along her shoulders and arms. Then he moved them to her front and lathered her chest, definitely lingering there much longer than necessary. Softly he cupped her breasts and spread the foam across her nipples with his thumb, eliciting even more desperate noises from her.

Looking back at him Mac pulled him in for another kiss before sliding his hands further down. While Will obediently began to soap her stomach and hips she shortly massaged her own breasts to gather some of the generously spread foam, the sight mesmerizing him so much that he forgot his own task for a moment and just stared at her. _"Fuck..."_  
Only when she started to gently rub his chest he startled and continued his ministrations, slowly getting closer to her core.

Feeling his touch to the soft skin joining her hips and legs Mac sighed and splayed them a little wider, inviting him to touch her most sensitive area. As if he had been waiting for it Will immediately cupped her, administering delicious pressure on her clit with his palm, and let one finger slide through her folds.

„God, you're wet...“ he grunted. „That's not only water, is it?“

Mac had groaned loudly at the first contact and panted „Why don't you find out?“

In an instance Will had dropped down to one knee, but before moving in with his head he looked up at her again. „What about the time?“

„Fuck it!“

Definitely agreeing with her Will didn't need any more encouragement and dove in, replacing his finger with his tongue and lapping up her juices. „Mmmh... Definitely no water...“

His muffled voice sounded hoarse, and unsuccessfully trying to suppress a scream Mac closed her eyes and threw her head back. He had always been so good at this, and no one else had ever come close. That was if they had shown any interest in eating her out at all and not just cared about getting off themselves.

Putting her hands in his hair she pushed him further towards her while her hips moved in the opposite direction when he started fucking her with his tongue. „Jesus... God, that feels so good... Don't stop“!  
Will had no intention of doing so, and her reactions only spurred him on more. Removing one hand from her arse he started to rub her clit with his thumb and felt her legs starting to tremble. Without stopping he pushed her back the short distance to the wall and kind of awkwardly followed her by sliding on his knee, ignoring the pain it sent out in protest.

With the wall giving her support Mac managed to stay standing, but with Will's uncompromising movements she quickly started to buckle again, moaning helplessly. Moving his other hand from her behind he placed it over her stomach to steady her while he now put his lips on her nub and entered her with his middle finger, immediately followed by a second which caused her to gasp loudly.

„Will... Fuck, yessss!“ Drawing out the last letter Mac arched her upper body into the foggy air for a long couple of seconds before pressing it back against the tiles again to be able to ride his fingers with her hips. Meeting his every thrust she quickly felt the familiar pulling inside her building up, and when Will curled the finger tips against her g-spot her coil reached the breaking point, and she fell apart around him. Hoping that her screams were quietened by the sound of the water the only thing she could do was tighten her grip to is hair and somehow try to keep standing.

Will didn't let up and kept moving his fingers inside her throughout her orgasm while moving his tongue against her clit, and she felt a second orgasm hit her before the first one had even subsided. Finally her inner muscles started to relax and with soft caresses he brought her down until her legs and fingers stopped twitching.

Sighing Mac collapsed forward so that her forehead came to rest on the top of Will's head, her whole body trembling and not being able to stand on its own. Panting she loosened her fingers from his hair and let her hands roam down to his shoulders and back while he continued to press soft kisses to her abdomen.

When she finally got back control over her body and thoughts she lifted her head, put her hands on his cheeks and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips. „Get up here...“

While Will scrambled back onto his feet she turned around, braced herself against the wall and looked over her shoulder. „I want you inside me, now!“

Will was already aroused to no end from the ecstasy he had just witnessed, but watching her wiggling her firm ass at him his cock twitched and got even harder, if that was even possible. Stroking it with his left hand he put the other on her back, firmly sliding it up and down her delicious curves before letting it run down the side to cup her breast. „God, you should see yourself, Mac, you're so fucking sexy. How did we go without this for so long?“

„Christ, just fuck me, will you?“ Mac was too turned on to start a conversation, and the impatience in her voice made that completely clear to Will.

Guiding his pulsating erection to her opening he slowly entered her just with its head and then stopped. Whimpering Mac tried to push back to feel more of him, but Will held her hips with both of his hands now and didn't allow her to move. Pulling out by barely a quarter of an inch he then entered her again, only a tiny bit further than the first time, just to withdraw again immediately.

After he had done this a few times Mac mewled desperately. „Will, stop fucking around, just take me!“

At this Will entered her completely with a guttural groan and instantly fell into a pounding rhythm. Leaning over her back he let go off her hips and placed his hands on her breasts, circling and plucking her nipples before kneading the flesh. Free to move again Mac now responded to his every motion, moaning louder and louder at the feeling of his throbbing shaft sliding back and forth inside her. „Faster, Will!“

Picking up speed Will slammed into her, his hands now holding her hips in place again to not crash her into the wall. The water still hailed down onto them, fogging the air around them and adding to the intense sensations running through them both.

„Good?“ He barely heard her affirmative moan but knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer, no matter what. With a low grunt he moved one of his hands to Mac's clit to speed up her release. „Fuck... I'm about to come, Mac... Come with me...“

„I'm.... about... there... _Oh God_...“ Bracing herself against the wall with her forearm she lowered the other hand to add more pressure to Will's fingers rubbing her. „Fuckfuckfuuuu...uuuh“ Crying out she felt herself drowning in another climax, quivers rippling through her and muscles clamping down on Will who didn't stop moving.

„MacKenzie...“ he groaned, ramming into her one last time and then holding himself deep inside her, spilling himself into her to the last drop. Panting he fell forward and rested on her back for a moment before placing a tender kiss to her shoulder blade and slowly pulling out. Gently he helped Mac to lift herself off the wall and enveloped her with his arms from behind, placing soft kisses on her neck.  
Leaning into him she managed to hum contentedly despite her harsh breathing, before finally turning around.

„We really need to hurry up...“ she murmered while letting her hands run down his chest. Sighing Will nodded and after a last kiss he once again reached for the shower gel, filling their hands with a generous amount. When he wanted to start soaping her again she quietly laughed and shook her head. „I guess we each better take care of ourselves or we'll never get to work...“

Not really wanting to listen Will tried one more time to touch her but grudgingly gave in when she slapped his hand away. „You're cruel, you know that?“

„Poor baby...“ Mac giggled at his pout. „You can shampoo my hair in a minute?“

Will eagerly jumped at that opportunity and quickly finished his own shower routine before grabbing the shampoo. When he started to massage it into Mac's scalp he smirked. „You know that you're gonna have a very masculine odor today?“  
He didn't feel sorry about that, it would just remind him of what they had done last night and just now for the remainder of the day, not that he needed an olfactory aid for that...

Mac waved him off with a content sigh. „I'll cover it up with perfume, nobody will be able to tell.“  
She tilted her head back and revelled in the feeling of Will's fingers gently rubbing the shampoo into her hair. This was something they had used to do often, especially on weekends when they'd had lots of time to shower in a leisurely way, and she had missed these soft ministrations terribly during the last years. Unfortunately she couldn't afford the luxury to indulge in it this time. „As much as I'm enjoying this, Will, we have to get going, we're probably already running late.“

This time it was his turn to sigh, but he did reach for the shower head and started to rinse out the suds. When they finally stepped out of the shower he handed her a soft, oversized towel before taking one for himself. While he took his time Mac quickly dried herself off and then vigorously rubbed the water out of her hair. Standing in front of the mirror and combing through it her eyes followed him leaving the bath with just the towel around his waist, then she sighed.

What a morning!  
Thinking back to her reluctance to come here at all last night she couldn't believe that she not only stayed overnight but also encouraged this steamy morning sexcapade instead of telling him off for his suggestion and going home. She loved him and she wanted him, so even if his use of their codeword had caught her by surprise last night, it had been clear from the start that it would result in another hot and steamy night - and morning as it had turned out - and still she had come. Feeling completely relaxed right this moment she couldn't care less if it had been another colossal mistake. She had known what she had gotten into when she showed up here last night so there was no need to fret about it now.

Noticing that she had just been staring at the mirror for a while already she placed the comb back on the counter and followed Will into the bedroom. Hearing him rumbling in his walk-in closet she went over to the pile of clothes on the floor. Putting back on the bra and blouse, slightly wrinkled, she drew the line at yesterday's panties and quickly slipped into her skirt and shoes before leaving for the living room.

Just when she had picked up her purse and dropped the panties into it Will stepped up behind her, audibly taking a sharp breath. Mac turned around and looked directly into his wide eyes. „You're ...going co... commando?“

Mac grinned at his stammering. „Just 'til I get home, don't get your hopes up...“

Will groaned and desperately rolled his eyes. „You know you're killing me here, right?“

With a lewd smile she shortly put her hand to his cheek and moved her lips to his ear, whispering mischievously „See you at the office.“

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
When Mac entered the newsroom about a quarter of an hour too late she tried to unsuspiciously reach her office but was caught by Maggie. „Good morning! How's your tooth?“

Mac was confused. „My tooth?“

„Yeah, Will told us that you had an emergency dentist appointment first thing in the morning.“

„Oh right, I... I didn't think he'd tell everybody.“ Mac stuttered and hoped she didn't blush. „It''s much better, thanks. I just thought I should let somebody know in case I'd be late. Which I am...“ She looked at her watch. „I better get started.“  
With a nod to the young assistant producer she walked towards her office where she dropped her bag and coat before heading straight for Will's office.

„Hey! Thanks for covering for me...“

Will looked up. „No problem, that was the least I could do.“

„Still... thanks...“ She gave him a tentative smile. She was thoroughly tempted to bring up the past night and the morning shower but then decided against it. As she had realized last night, Will had to figure it out for himself and she mustn't pressure him, the office not being the right place for it anyway. „Did anything happen while I was gone?“

„Gallup has Obama at 46% of likely voters and Romney at 50%, crediting it to his performance in the Denver debate. And Clinton has taken responsibility for the security situation in Benghazi.“

Mac tensed for a second at the mentioning of the Libyan attack but then she nodded. „Okay, that should both go into the show tonight. I'll check it out before the rundown. See you there.“

After she had left the office Will leaned back in his chair and looked at some far away point on the other side of the street.

Waking up this morning he had felt so happy that Mac really had stayed overnight, in his arms. So afraid of a negatory answer it had taken all his courage to ask her and he had been so glad and relieved when she had agreed to it.  
The night before had been unbefuckinglievable, their lovemaking so tender and emotional, and he hadn't been able to resist touching her more when he woke up which resulted in another round of incredible sex this morning. No, not just sex. Both times it had been more than sex; it had been overwhelming and every time the met it just kept getting better and better.

Last night he had been so close to telling her how he felt, that he had never stopped loving her, but then he hadn't been able to. The words just wouldn't come out of his mouth and in retrospect it was probably better this way. It wouldn't have been fair to tell Mac he loved her, or even that he had forgiven her over the past months, when at the same time he still couldn't get over his fear of getting hurt again, still couldn't trust her...  
Oh, how he wanted to, but as Habib had made it clear, her betrayal had been too severe for him to not fear it could happen again.

Fuck! If he just wasn't so messed up they could maybe have a chance...!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Again several days passed without either one of them bringing up the nights they had spent together. Mac did have the impression though that Will was a little more attentive than usual, bringing her a coffee out of the blue, holding the elevator for her even though she still was a mile away or just looking at her more often when he thought she wouldn't notice. Not that he didn't do these things before, but not as frequently as now. Secretly smiling to herself and feeling a little giddy with hope inside she couldn't help but think that maybe she had been right with her assumptions about his feelings for her...

In lieu of further meetings with Rebecca their evenings were dedicated to the various preperations for the election coverage for now.  
These were all well on their way but still a lot of time needed to be spent planning the different segements, scheduling of interviews, co-ordinating with the D.C. Bureau, adding final touches to the graphics they were going to use, meetings with the guys responsible for the predictions of election results to name only a few things. And naturally they had to sit down with the panelists to find a structure they could work with during the show while still being flexible enough to react to sudden developments and surprises.

Then one Thursday, about 2 weeks before election night, they were in the middle of the last break of their show, and Mac was just giving him more numbers for the last segment, when Will suddenly heard Jenna's voice in the background, mumbling something incomprehensible in a low voice to Mac. „Hold on a second, Will.“

„What? What is it, Mac? Something I need to know for the next segment?“ Not getting a reply he impatiently tapped his pen onto his desk.“Mac? Talk to me!“

Suddenly Mac gasped, and while he could hear her ripping off the mic set she called out „Jim, you have to take over for me!“  
Then there was some rumbling, surprised outcries and questions as well as other unidentifiable noises in Will's ear before he heard Jim talking to him.

„Will? It's me, Jim. I'll be handling the last segment.“

„What the fuck is going on? Where's Mac?“

„I honestly have no idea. Jenna came in with a written message for her. When Mac read it she just went white as a sheet and stormed out. But listen, we're back in 11, here's the rest of the numbers: 39%...“

„Fuck!“ Will cursed, but then concentrated on taking down the information Jim gave him. During the whole following segment he ran on autopilot, his thoughts revolving around what could have caused Mac to abandon the show. As soon as he got the _'All clear'_ he ripped out his ear piece and was out of his chair, almost running to Mac's office. Luckily the light was still on, so she hadn't left yet. When he entered the room she was on the phone.

„Yeah... I know... Right, but what...?“ When she saw Will standing in the door she slightly turned her chair away from him and lowered her voice. „Why don't you go and find out? I'll call you later, okay...? I love you, too.“

Will couldn't help but overhear her and the last sentence gave him a sting, but then he quickly abandoned any jealous thought from his mind and took a step towards her. If Mac had a boyfriend she wouldn't be coming to him for sex. And even if, she would never leave the control room to take a private call except it was an emergency. „Mac, what is going on? What happened?““

With a sigh she looked at him and he could see the fear in her face. „My mother just called...“ She paused, trying to control her trembling voice. „My father had a heart attack about an hour ago.“

„Oh my God! How is he?“

„I don't know...“ Mac barely suppressed a sob. „He is in surgery right now, they've wheeled him off as soon as they got to the hospital.“

„I'm so sorry, Mac...“ With a last step Will closed the distance between them and pulled her up into his arms. Mac immediately seeked his comfort and buried her head in his chest, her trembling hands caught between them holding on to the lapels of his suit. „I'm so scared, Will...“

„I know... I know...“ He pressed her even closer to him and placed her head under his chin. „It's gonna be alright, Honey, he's gonna be fine...“ Will didn't even realize he used a pet name while his mind took him back to the times he had met Edward McHale. They had always gotten along very well and he sincerely hoped that he would be okay.

Feeling Will's arms around her comforted Mac, but she still felt incredibly anxious. She had always had a very special relationship with her father, based on common interests and especially their love of politics, he being the one living them and she the one bringing them to the people. They had spent countless hours debating political parties, the European Union, social security reforms and whatever else was coming up, including the impending US election. They didn't so much argue about political directions, they were close on that, but about backgrounds, past and future developments and possible crises.

The last time they had talked he had really gotten riled up about the prospects of the Republican candidate winning the election and what it would mean for the United States, especially in regard of foreign relations, and with the thought that this could have been the last time she had ever talked to her father she held on to Will even tighter.

Will was worried, as he knew about the special bond Mac had with Edward and his mind was racing to come up with a way to support her. When he noticed Jim carefully nearing the office, apparently shocked to find his ever-fighting bosses in a tight embrace, Will just shook his head and silently mouthed _'Later'_ in his direction. Jim remained standing in the door indecisively for a moment, not being able to suppress a suspicious look at Will, but then he realised that Mac hung on to him voluntarily and nodded.

Will knew that they couldn't stay like this forever, not here in the office, and carefully tried to loosen their connection, but Mac only clung to him even tighter. „Mac... Mac, hey... Why don't I take you home and when we get there you can call your mother again?“

A moment passed and he thought she hadn't heard him, but then he felt her nod into his chest. He carefully let go off her, always prepared to hold on in case she needed help, but she straightened herself up and took a deep breath, quietly saying „Yeah, that would be nice. Thanks.“

„Anytime, Mac. Come on...“ Will grabbed her coat and helped her into it before reaching for her purse. The tears in her eyes hadn't started to spill yet so they would be able to make it out of the bullpen without anybody wondering. Well, except Jim of course. Feeling his eyes on them he gave him a short nod, and after a quick stop at his office to pick up his overnight bag as well as his briefcase and phone he led Mac to the elevators, his hand gently resting in the small of her back.

He could tell that Mac was fighting for countenance, and when they arrived in the lobby she had switched to autopilot. Like in a daze she let Will guide her to his car that was already waiting and obediently slipped into the back seat. Sitting down next to her he gave her address to the driver and then looked at her, taking her hand.

„He's going to be alright, Mac. He's strong and he's not ready to go yet.“

Mac shortly glanced over to him and nodded, her teeth biting her lower lip, before she turned her head to look out of the window for the rest of the drive. She tightly held on to the hand enveloping hers, but he noticed that she kept fidgeting with the other one, digging the nails into her thigh and then again fingers trembling and nervously tapping her leg.

He knew that he couldn't comfort her further in an AWM car and decided to wait until she had talked to her mother again to figure out how he could best support her.

After a ten minute ride they arrived at her buidling and he helped her out of the car before turning back to the driver to tell him that he would call in to let him know where and when to pick him up the next day.

When they reached her apartment he took the key out of her hand and opened the door, letting her step in first. Helping her out of her jacket he knew that the most important thing was to get an update on her father, hoping that it would turn out to be something minor so that she wouldn't need to worry so much anymore.

„Why don't you call your mom while I go and make you a nice cup of tea?“

Mac startled and seemed to notice for the first time that she was home already. Slowly nodding she reached for her phone and went into the living room while Will headed for the small kitchen. Gathering everything he needed for a soothing tea he heard Mac talking on the phone but couldn't make out any words. When he entered the living room a few minutes later he found her sitting on the couch, still speaking to her mother. She looked pale and didn't seem to notice him, intensely keeping her eyes on her knees where her free hand played with the hem of her skirt.

„I know, Mom, will Michael and Liz be coming? Okay, that's good...“ She sighed. „I wish I could be there... I know... Keep me posted, okay? Call anytime if there are any news... I love you, too, Mom...“ Slowly Mac took the phone from her ear but only looked up when Will sat down next to her and handed her the mug.

„Sage tea, I hope that's alright?“

She startled. „What? Oh yeah, that's fine, thanks.“ She took the cup and held it as if it was just there to warm her hands but didn't drink, lost in thought.

„So what did your mother say?“

Mac took a deep breath, clearly trying to not fall apart. „It... it was a massive heart attack... He's still in surgery and as far as Mom knows yet it's going to be at least a triple bypass.“

„Oh Mac, I'm so sorry... Come here...“ Taking the tea out of her hands he put his arm around her shoulders and embraced her again, holding her tightly in his arms. Swaying softly from side to side he soothingly whispered in her ear. „It's gonna be alright, that's a routine operation nowadays...“

He felt more than he heard her finally starting to cry and he was glad; she needed to let it out. „Shhh, it's gonna be fine. I'm right here, Honey...“ The tears started to soak his shirt and she seemed to work herself up more and more. „Hey, hey.... You're not alone... I'm there for you, anything you need...“

But Mac didn't even seem to hear him and was sobbing uncontrollably by now. When it finally eased down to an occasional sob, followed by several hick-ups, he finally pulled away and looked into her tear-stained face. Stroking the last teardrops from her cheeks he met her eyes, clearly showing his concern but not saying anything.

It took her several tries to speak before actual words came out of her mouth, the voice shaky and raspy from shedding all those tears. „I can't lose him, Will...“ she whispered. „I'm not ready to lose him, I still need him... And what would Mom do without him?“

„I know, Mac, and you're not going to lose him. In a few weeks he will be all up and about, being angry with you for worrying so much.“

„I... When... I was supposed to call him a few days ago, but I brushed him off and only sent a short text because I was too busy to talk to him. What if that was the last words he ever got from me...?“ Another strangled sob escaped her and she started shaking.

Will let his hands wander to her shoulders and gripped her tightly. „Listen to me, Mac. I know you and never in your life you would have been rude to him or brushed him off. And if you were too busy in that moment he understood, I'm certain. You know how proud he is of what you're doing!“

„But still...“

„No but. He knows you love him and that's all that matters. And before long you'll have more endless discussions with him, just wait and see.“

Finally Mac realized that Will was trying everything to make her feel better and support her, and she showed him a weak attempt of a smile. „Thank you.“

„Anytime.“ He returned the smile. „You know what? Come with me, you need to relax...“ With these words he stood up and took her hand, already heading towards her bedroom.

„Will...!“ Mac started to protest, but Will immediately shushed her.

„Shhh, trust me.“

Mac didn't have any strength left to fight him, so she obediently followed him, caught by surprise when he didn't stop in front of her bed but pulled her along until they reached the bathroom. Looking around he whistled. „You were right, this _is_ small...“

„Hey...!“ A little spark left in her didn't want him to get away with this remark. „Not everybody can be a hot shot anchor with too much money to spend...“

„Touché...“ Will grinned, but then turned serious again and started to open the buttons of her blouse. „Come here, you need to relax.“  
Mac clearly wanted to object but Will just repeated his earlier words. „Trust me, MacKenzie...“

With a deep sigh she surrendered and let him finish with the buttons. Her skirt was next, followed by her bra and panties before he quickly shed his own clothes. Then he turned Mac around, took a scrunchie from a shelf and pulled her hair up into a high-sitting pony tail before directing her into the shower. Following her in the small cabin he took the movable shower head into his hand and adjusted the water temperature before he started to rinse her off, carefully avoidng to get her hair wet at the same time.

Mac leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes to savour the warmth and the prickle of the water jet on her skin. „God, that feels so good...“  
Will swallowed at her moan but determinedly continued to focus on her. This was definitely not like the other morming, not about sex or anything physical at all, this was just to comfort her and make her feel better.

Once she was thoroughly wet he turned off the water and reached for the bodywash. Squirting a generous amount into his hand he started to softly spread it over her body, beginning with her shoulders and arms and then moving down to her upper torso.

With gentle touches he massaged the foam into her skin, moving slowly with measured strokes and circles which were accompanied by Mac's little sighs of pleasure. Finally he turned her around and started to work on her back, carefully watching out to not touch her with his by now fully erect length so that she wouldn't get the idea he was only pampering her to get into her at the moment non-existent pants.

Once she was thoroughly cleaned he moved his hands to her neck and shoulders, massaging them to ease the tension in her muscles. He still remembered her most sensitive areas, and sure enough he felt several tight knots. When he gently pressed his thumbs into them Mac released another deep moan and let her head fall to her chest. „Oh yes, right there, Will...“

With a smile he continued for several minutes until the worst tensions were gone. Taking the shower head into his hand again he then carefully rinsed all sods from her body, back and front. Finally he was done, and after a short, ice-cold surprise for his throbbing erection, completely missed by Mac who still had her eyes closed and only quirked an eyebrow at his sudden hiss, he led her out of the shower to gently rub her down with the softest towel he could find on the shelf.

Quickly stepping into his boxers he then took her hand to walk back into her bedroom and stopped in front of her closet. Taking out a pair of pyjamas he shook his head when Mac reached for it. „Let me...“

„Will...“ she sighed. „I can dress myself, I'm a big girl, you know?“

„I did notice, just barely though...“ Will deadpanned. „Humor me, please?“

Looking into his eyes she smiled after a moment and nodded. „Go ahead.“  
With a satisfied grin he went for the pyjama top first. „Arms up!“  
Obediently Mac raised her arms and he slid the shirt down over her head. Then he reached for the pants and knelt down, offering her the left leg to step into first, then the right one before pulling them up to her hips. At last he pulled the scrunchie from her hair and then took a step back. „There, all ready for bed.“

Suddenly the atmosphere seemed to change and there was a touch of awkwardness in the air, but Will pretended not to notice. „Go and lie down, I'll be back in a minute.“

„Will...“

„It's alright, trust me.“

Hesitantly Mac followed his suggestion and crawled under the blanket on her side of the bed. When Will returned shortly after he was carrying his overnight bag and her phone. „Here, I thought you might want to call your mother again.“

Mac reached for the phone but put it down on the nightstand. „Thanks, but she promised to call me as soon as she knows anything. It's the middle of the night over there and I wouldn't want to wake her up in case she does get some rest. The surgery is supposed to take hours...“ Talking about it suddenly brought everything back to her, after she had been put into an almost mediative state by the hot shower and Will's ministrations.

Noticing that she started to tense up again Will quickly pulled a t-shirt and sweatpants out of his bag. „Are you okay with me staying overnight?“

Mac's eyes went wide for a moment and instinctively she wanted to say no, but then she thought about how he had been there for her today and realized that she would love to be in his arms, being in her bed or not. So with a shy smile she nodded, and when Will quickly joined her on the other side of the bed and snuggled up against her, his arm securely placed over her waist, she sighed contentedly.

The day's stress had worn her out and Will's coddling that followed had left her in a state where she didn't want to move an inch anymore. She only wanted to enjoy the warmths and comfort and shut out the real life until the next day. Although she didn't think that she would get any sleep at all she slowly started to drift off, only too aware of Will spooning her.  
Will... A thought kept popping up in the back of her mind, just lingering at the edge so that she couldn't grasp it right away. But suddenly it was there and she spun around. „Wait, we didn't...“

Will immediately knew what she was getting at and hushed her in a soft voice „Shhh, it's okay.“

„But...“

„I didn't ask for a cup of Joe tonight, did I...?“ He winked at her and being kind of proud of his own trickiness he couldn't hide his grin.

Mac just looked at him with wide eyes and then shortly cupped his face, stroking her thumb over his cheek. „Thank you, Billy...“ she whispered softly before turning around again, not wanting him to notice the tears that threatened to fall.

Will's heart stopped and his breath hitched when he heard the nickname she had given him. Since her return to ACN she had rarely used it and never once since they had started this... _arrangement_. To hear it now when she had let down all her guards touched him deeply, and he couldn't help but think about what might be possible for them if he just managed to get his shit together...

For now he snuggled up close to her again and when he was sure she had fallen asleep he quietly whispered „I love you, MacKenzie."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
In the early morning hours Mac felt a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her awake. „Mac! Mac, wake up. Your mother is on the phone.“

Suddenly the memory of last night was right back. Her father! A heart attack! Immediately she sat up, blindly reaching for the phone and clearing her throat while she picked up the call „Mom? How is Dad? Is he alright?“

With an anxious expression she listened to her mother, only vaguely noticing that Will was sitting next to her and holding her hand, squeezing it supportingly when he noticed her visibly relax after her mother's first words.

„Are you sure? Are _they_ sure...? Is he awake already? Could you speak with him?“ Listening for a moment she turned her head to Will and with a happy smile she mouthed _'He's okay'_.  
Will sighed with relief and lifted her hand to press a short kiss to her knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers.

„Mom, I'm so glad... Listen, I just woke up, can I call you back in half an hour...? Great, thanks Mom. I love you.“ Taking a deep breath Mac hung up and before she knew it she was in Will's arms, feeling the soft kisses he placed on the top of her head. „I'm so happy for you, Mac. He's going to be alright?“

She nodded into his chest. „The surgery went well and he has been awake for a little while already. God, I'm so relieved. I don't know what I would have done if...“

„Shh, don't worry about that now.“ Will kept cradling her, one hand stroking down her back while the other held her head in place. After a moment Mac sighed and started to entangle herself from him. „I have to get ready if I want to talk to my mother again before heading to work, or I will be late."

„No, you won't“

With a confused look Mac just asked „What?“

Will gave her a smug grin. „You won't be late. I've been up for a while already and made some plans. I spoke to Charlie and Jim and when they gave me a heads up I booked you on the first possible flight to London.“

„You did _what?_ “ The look on Mac's face and her tone of voice didn't quite match the reaction Will had imagined when he had worked out the plan, and for a second he felt unsure, but then he decided not to budge.  
„You are flying to London, there's not going to be a discussion.“

Mac gasped. „Who do you think you are to decide something like that without talking to me about it? I can't leave here!“

„I'm the managing editor of Newsnight and I don't think that right this moment you are capable of doing your best job. And you don't need to, Jim and I will cover for you.“

„For God's sake, it's not just the show; the election is coming up. Do you know how much there still is do to?“ Mac was furious. How dare he arrange all of this on his own and talk to her boss behind her back.

Will realized that he had misjudged the situation completely and decided that some tough love was necessary. "Frankly you're no good to me nor the show when your head is in England, Mac. Besides, after everything that has happened during the last months you could probably use a vacation anyway."

„Yeah, but not _now_. And not because you and Charlie tell me!“

„Yes, now!“ Then he sighed and continued in a softer tone of voice. „Listen, Mac, let's not fight. You need to be with your family right now, but you can still be part of every major decision that still has to be made for the election coverage. We'll just set up a few skype conferences and you can butt in. Today's Friday and your return flight is booked for Tuesday night. We'll be able to cover those days, and if you need to stay longer we'll figure it out. The booking can be changed."

Mac stayed quiet and chewed on her bottom lip. It was not that she didn't want to go, in fact that had been her first thought last night, she had just never thought it would be possible before the election was over. And thinking back to what Will had done for her last night already she was sure he had only arranged it out of concern and not because he wanted to tell her what to do.

Slowly she looked up at him. „Are you sure it wouldn't be a problem?“

„Positive.“ Will smiled at her. „Go take a shower and then start to pack, I'll make breakfast. You can make a list of everything that still has to be done on the way to the airport and Jim and I will make a plan. When you'll arrive in London we'll already have mailed you the times for the skype meetings or conference calls and you can plan around them. Deal?“

A beautiful, genuine smile showed on her face and she leaned in for a soft kiss. „Thank you, Will.“

„No sweat.“ He paused for a moment and it looked like he even blushed a little bit. „You would have done the same for me.“

„Still...“ After another kiss she got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. „How much time do I have?“

„The flight goes in two hours.“

Mac shrieked and rushed the last steps into the bathroom. „ _Two hours?_ I won't have time for breakfast, I'll have to eat on the plane... Why didn't you wake me earlier?“

„You needed your rest“ Will shouted after her in a tone that didn't leave any room for debate, and while normally that wouldn't keep Mac from going after him anyway right now she was too excited and _late_ for that.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
In the end they did make it to the airport in time, but only because Will had booked her a first class ticket which allowed her to check in later then the mere mortals that had to travel in coach.

He had helped her to carry the luggage to the check-in counter, and with a short peck to his cheek she told him to head to the office, a small smile showing on her lips when she watched him walk away. He would have to take over quite a lot of her work and would probably curse his own idea before the end of the day.

She had called her mother from the car who had been so happy and thankful that she was able to come home, and they had arranged that her brother would pick her up at the airport on arrival.

Finally settled in the comfortable seat she would never have booked for herself she couldn't help but let her thoughts go back to Will.

She had never doubted her love for him, not during their first relationship when her revelation that she loved him made her ditch Brian, not during her time in the Middle East and not during the last two and a half years at ACN, no matter what punishments he had given her. But the last weeks and especially what he had done for her last night and this morning, his tenderness, his care, putting her well-being above everything else, made her only love him more.

She would never have asked him for _'a cup of Joe'_ in the first place if she hadn't been sure he wouldn't be emotionally involved, but apparently she had been wrong.

She had already suspected that he still had feelings for her after the last couple of times they had met for sex. And after last night? He had to be in love with her, he just had to. Surely otherwise he wouldn't have pampered her the way he did last night, and even before, the night he had asked about the stabbing.

Their whole arrangement was officially based on sex for either one of them to relax and forget, but it had quickly evolved into so much more. Now she had to ask herself if this was what she wanted. If it was enough.

The way it currently worked Will had the best of both, great sex and no need to commit to her. Should she go on like this and just enjoy it as long as it would last? Or should she end it now, before getting in deeper and deeper?

Deep inside she already knew the answer:  
She just couldn't do it and that meant she would never sleep with Will again. She would never ask him for a _'cup of Joe'_ again, and if he did, she would decline.

If she wanted to at least have the chance for more, to have a real relationship with Will, be a family, they couldn't go on with this. Their codeword deal was no basis for whatever the future might bring, no matter if there was happiness oder sorrow waiting for them in the end.

She needed to tell Will that their arrangement didn't work anymore, it was over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, these chapters keep getting longer and longer - I hope you're still with me?  
> I _think_ one more to go...


	6. Election Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As most of you probably already have guessed and the chapter title suggests, the last scenes of this story will mostly play on election night. So, following Sorkin's lead I decided to split it up into two chapters to not let it get too long (and not let you wait too long... ;-))
> 
> Speaking of Sorkin – Even more credit than usual goes to him for this chapter as I used quite a lot of the original, fabulous dialogue, however with slight alterations and also additions and/or inner monologue. (No disrespect, Mr. Sorkin - Just necessary for this story!) So read carefully and don't think you could skip a few paragraphs because you know what's coming... ;-)

**Election Night**

It was Saturday afternoon and Will and the staff originally hadn't scheduled any meetings for the day, but with hurricane Sandy that was predicted to hit the East Coast at the beginning of the next week they had to alter their plans. Not only did they have to prepare for staff maybe not being able to come in and means of communication like telephone and internet to fail, but they most probably would also need to put some live coverage of Sandy on the air, hours they needed for election prep and would be lacking in that case.

Will clicked on the Skype call button, grateful that Neal had already set up the computer for him in the meeting room, and listened to the strange ring tone he would probably never get used to. After a few 'rings' his call was accepted and Mac, having been alerted to this unplanned call via text, appeared on the screen in front of him, sporting a happy smile. „Hello, Will!“

Immediately Will forgot his irritation about using bubbly sounds to signal a call to someone, and her wide smile was mirrored on his face. Mac was looking great, not so anxious and tired as she did before she left. „Good to see you, glad you could make it! How's your father?“

He saw a hint of insecurity on her face and realized that she didn't want to talk about such a personal matter in front of all the staff, despite them all knowing almost all details about their previous relationship had ended. But during an earlier call colleagues from other departments, like tech and graphic guys and members of the decision desk, had also been around; people she didn't know that well. „It's alright, nobody's here yet. I asked them to give us a few minutes.“

At this Mac smiled again, thankful for his consideration once more. „Dad is doing good so far. He's still hurting from the surgery, and the broken rips don't really help with all the coughing he has to do, but the doctors are very happy with his condition. He asked me to say 'hello' and thank you for letting me come here to visit 'a sick old man'. His words...“

„Tell him it was my pleasure.“ Will grinned. „Did he get my present?“

Mac snorted. „He sure did, and as soon as he had unwrapped it, it was confiscated by Mom. Really! Only you could give Cuban cigars to a man recovering from heart surgery...“ She shook her head, but he could see that she was trying to hide that she actually valued his effort.

„Well, the rehabilitation will only last this long and then he'll appreciate them.“ Will was fairly sure about that, as he had enjoyed a few Sunday evenings with Edward McHale and a good cigar himself.

„Oh, he's appreciating them alright, it just doesn't really help us getting him to quit!“ She winked. „But he did tell me to thank you for them as well.“

„Pleasure again... So, do you know yet if you'll be able to make the flight on Tuesday?“

„If the airports won't be closed due to Sandy I should be able to make it. Why? You miss me?“

Will didn't answer immediately. „I'm pretty sure the whole newsroom misses you. You're a much nicer boss than me...“

It didn't escape Mac that he hadn't answered her question, but she accepted that this wasn't the time to talk about it, so she just joined in the banter. „Do you mean to say that I'll have a pile of complaints and resignations on my desk waiting for my return?“

He grinned. „Not quite. Or better: Not yet. But you should prepare yourself to do a little handholding, I don't think Martin's been very happy with me...“

Mac rolled her eyes. „What did you do...?“

„Nothing! I think as managing editor I should be allowed to say if I think he has messed up an assignment...“ Will's voice dropped and Mac could hardly understand the following words. „...and maybe go a little overboard and tell him to think about whether he has made the right career choice... But I did apologize later!“ The last sentence was louder again and he looked rather satisfied with himself.

„Oh, Will...“ Mac sighed but again couldn't really prevent the corners of her mouth from twitching „You were supposed to do my work and not add to it... But he's still working for us?“

„Yeah, like I said, a little hand holding and maybe a dog biscuit and he'll be fine.“

„Will!“ Mac protested laughingly. „Promise me you'll be nice to the guys until I'm back!“

„Only if you hurry up. So what about your flight?“ He gave her a hopeful look.

„As I said, if Sandy doesn't get in the way I'm pretty sure I'll be able make it.“ Mac smiled. „The doctors are very confident that my dad will be fine, so as long as nothing unexpected happens we should be alright.“

„That's great, let me know, okay? The office just isn't the same when you're not around...“

Mac knew that was the closest Will would get to admit that he missed her and nodded, blushing slightly. „Will do. So, should we get started?“

„Yeah, let me get the others. They should have finished mopping the floors and replenishing my booze by now...“ He grinned once more and got up. „Tell you're family I said 'Hi', okay?“

„I will.“

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Mac arrived in New York on Tuesday evening, too late to make it to the show, so she just sent Will a short text that she had gotten home safely and would see him the next day. Her flight had taken off a little later then scheduled, but she was glad that the plane had been able to land at JFK at all and not been diverted to another city.

Unsurprisingly her phone rang shortly after 'Newsnight' had ended and of course it was him. Mac smiled and made herself comfortable on the couch before she answered. „Hey...“

„Hey yourself...“ Will's voice was soft and he sounded relaxed. „How was your flight?“

„Thanks to your generosity very comfortable, I could get used to that.“

„As you should...“ he murmered quietly, but Mac wasn't sure if she had heard him right, and he quickly went on. „I wasn't sure if you would get in with the airports having been closed due to Sandy.“

Mac sighed with relief. „I know! You wouldn't believe the chaos in London! Just to get credible information if the flight was still on was a nightmare... Mine must have been one of the first flights allowed to land here in New York again... And I'm glad my apartment is still dry. You and the staff are all okay?“

„Some whose places are in the flood zones had to stay with friends or family, but everybody is fine.“

„Great. And you did a really good job with the coverage, well done.“

„Yeah, you did teach Jim and the team some things...“ Will smiled. „So, your father is still doing okay?“

„Thank God! It's really amazing, only one day after the surgery he was up and running again, can you believe that? Well, not running, but I really had no idea that bypass patients are supposed to get up as soon as they can to get the circulation going again. I mean, imagine: They stop your heart during the surgery, just the thought...!“ Mac shuddered and actually tried _not_ to think about it.

„It's fascinating what the human body is capable of...“ Will agreed. „I'm glad he's better, and I'm glad you went to see him.“

„Me, too...“ Mac replied softly. „Listen, I want you to know that I really appreciate what you did. On Thursday and also the last days, taking over for me. I guess I could have picked a better time with Sandy and all...“

„Don't mention it. Like I said, you would have done the same for me...“

Both of them remained silent for a moment, and Mac wondered if this would be the right moment to let Will know that she had to rescind their arrangement.

She had thought about it a lot over the past days, and her resolve had only been strengthened. If they continued, Will would have no incentive to change anything or even think about what was happening between them. She on the other hand had already put too much of her heart into this and would slowly, but definitely go insane. She would break and she wasn't sure if she'd ever recover again.

She missed him, missed being with him, and that after only these few days she had been gone. If she ended it now, if she forced his decision, it would be like ripping off a band-aid, though it would hurt so much more. But maybe they would at least have a chance.

So she was certain she had made the right choice, it would just be incredibly hard to tell him.  
And no, this wasn't the right time. Will had said nothing to insinuate that he was calling for any other reason but to talk to her, and also she didn't want to do it on the phone; he deserved to hear it from her in person, face to face.

She realized that the silence had been lasting for a long moment already and took a deep breath. „Listen, Will, I appreciate you calling but I'm really tired... I'll see you tomorrow?“

„It's a date.“ Mac could hear him smile through the phone. „Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...“

„You, too... Good night.“ She hung up and her own smile turned into a slight frown. Had she made the right decision not to tell him as early as possible, or did she just take the easy way and chicken out?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
On Wednesday morning Mac arrived at work at her usual time and was immediately surrounded by her young staff members who appeared to be very happy to have her back. A lot of questions, stories and also problems that needed to be solved later she finally got the chance to bring her bag and coat into her office and then headed over to Will's.

„Good morning.“

Will quickly looked up and smiled at her. „Morning, good to see you alive. I saw the pack out there, seemed that everybody wanted a piece of you...“

„Well, some of them have actually missed me and they are not afraid to say it. No complaints from Martin so far, though...“

„That's good...“ Will leaned back in his chair and met her eyes before letting his gaze wander to a spot somewhere behind her right ear. „You know I've missed you... No one can run the newsroom as you do...“

Mac tried not to let him see her disappointment but internally she sighed. Why the hell couldn't he just say what he was feeling?

„Speaking of newsroom... It's less than a week until the election, do you have a moment to sit down and go through everything you've managed to do and what still needs attention? After the pitch meeting?“

Will seemed glad that she changed the topic. „Sure. You'll be pleased what's finished already.“

„We'll see... And I'll see _you_ in half an hour.“  
She turned around and left his office. Sitting down at her desk she shortly thought whether she should have said anything about her decision, but immediately dismissed that idea. That was no conversation to have during work, they had a show to do.

Mac sighed. Maybe she was lucky and Will would never ask her for a cup of Joe again, then she wouldn't have to say anything.  
God, she had never realized before what a coward she was.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
The next days the whole team was very busy. They really had managed to deal with quite a lot of things while Mac had been gone, but still there were many items on the list that needed to be finished in time for the election.

Come election day everybody was tired, but Mac was exhausted.  
She didn't want to miss the days she had spent with her family in London for the world, but her sense of duty didn't allow her to just accept everything her team had done in the meantime without scrutinizing it. Not because she didn't trust them, but because it was her responsibility to put a good, no, _excellent_ show on the air, especially in the wake of Genoa.

Speaking of which... She couldn't believe that Will still remained so calm about Genoa, especially as it had become common knownledge that Dantana's law suit would be filed the day after the election. This had put a damper on the mood of the whole staff, except for Will who had been unusually relaxed and had been trying to cheer everybody up all day already.

Mac didn't know what had gotten into him. _He_ of all people should be concerned about the complaint's impact on his career. She had to talk to him about it; she couldn't risk the realization hitting him while he was live on air and and then maybe have him go off the rails.

And she still had to convince him to fire her. Tonight. This was the only way of making sure that Dantana wouldn't win the suit; he mustn't be the only one fired for the mistakes made prior to the airing of Genoa.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
When the staff had left Will's office with the last instructions for the election show that was about to start, Mac stayed behind and got up from the table she was sitting on. This was her last chance to make sure he understood how serious the situation was.  
„The lawyer said she'd hold you in breach.“

„Yeah.“ Will only looked at her for a second and immediately concentrated on his cue cards for he show again.

„Rebecca?“

„Greenway from the General Council's Office.“

„...said she'd hold you and Charlie in material breach.“

„And invoke the non-compete clause...“ Finally he looked up. „Why don't we drop it for six hours?“

While Will calmy looked down at his cards again Mac shook her head. „What is Charlie gonna do now?“

„Reese is having a viewing party on the 44th floor, Charlie is gonna work on him.“

„The suit's gonna be filed tomorrow morning...“

„Mac...“

„...that's a public document. If we can't get this done tonight...“

„I understand...“

„If she'll agree to settle tonight...“

„I'm with you.“ Will tried to assure her and gave her an almost compassionate look, but Mac didn't even listen.

„..the world doesn't have to see a list, you know, a full-on description of every embarassing thing that's been going on her in the last fourteen months.“

„The complaint will cover more than fourteen months. But don't worry about that...“

„Stop saying that!“

„Six hours of literally nothing but breaking news and you're the traffic cop at the intersection of all of it. During light moments only three people will be speaking in your ear at once, but usually it will be ten, and I obviously don't have to say that we need to do well. That's why my suggestion is, since we can't deal with it right now, not to worry about it until we're off the air.“

For a second Mac didn't say anything, but finally she sat down in front of Will, a little freaked out by his unusal calmness. „Would you do me a favour?“

„Anything.“

„I mean this.“

„Me, too“

„I'm not fucking around.“

„What's the favour?“

„Say what you want to say to me.“

„What?“ Will didn't have a clue what she was talking about and his face showed exactly that.

„Yes.“

He looked at her slightly stunned, still not having any idea what she was getting at, but seeing her expectant look he felt that he had to say something. „Then I'll say that I'm alarmed by how little sleep you've had and that you're about to go do this.“

Mac wearily shook her head. „That's not what I'm talking about.“

„That's what _I'm_ talking about. You're the most attractive woman I have ever seen in real life, and I'm sticking by that statement and everything, but right now you're not making it easy. Can you do this?“

„Of course I can do this.“ Mac was irritated by this question and showed it.

„I'm not kidding...“

„No news producer in America's had sleep.“

„They've had some.“ Will replied dryly.

Mac got up again and turned towards the door „Forget about that.“

„You look like you were grown in an environment where it's dark and damp.“

„Lovely! But I'm talking about Genoa.“

„Why? We're gonna be spending plenty of time talking about it, God knows, if we ever take a break the New York Times will keep talking about it for us. _Come on_ , six hours of live election coverage! For you and me that is like an orgy at a spa or college football games on tv and from the trees are hanging Christian Louboutins...“

„I feel like...“

Will didn't let her finish but rambled on, making her roll her eyes. „...All in your size, all different kinds. Heels like lightsabers. Boots! Boots are hanging from the trees...“ Finally he gave in and acknowledged that she was trying to have a serious conversation with him. „You feel like I'm _what_?

Mac looked at him for a moment before answering his question. „A bomb that hasn't detonated.“

„You do?“ Will gaped at her with unbelieving eyes.

She nodded. „And it's going to, and I could live without the element of surprise...“

„Suede, lots of suede!“

„... so if we could hurt locker this thing it would be helpful.“

„I'm not a bomb that's about to explode. In fact, I didn't want to brag, but I've been put in charge of morale for the night.“

Frowning Mac just asked „By who?“

Will hesitated for only a moment. „I did it...“

Shaking her head in frustration she finally addressed the problem directly. „This is the worst situation you've ever faced in your life, right?“

„So far...“ His answer came very cautiously, as he didn't really know what she was trying to get at now.

„And you agree that I'm the one responsible for it.“

Okay, he could deal with that. „I one hundred percent disagree. Jerry Dantana is responsible. But I have an idea: I don't know if you heard, but I was recently appointed director of morale for the night...“

„Fuck it!“ Mac grabbed her things and wanted to leave the room.

„Wait!“ Will looked at her assessingly and obviously came to a decision. „I think you need a cup of Joe... _Now_.“

Mac didn't believe her ears and turned around, her eyes wide. „ _What?_ No...! And we don't have time anyway...“  
Mac was shocked to say the least that he would bring up their codephrase at this moment, so close to the show. She had not expected that and was in no way prepared for this conversation that now surely had to follow.

„We'll take the time. You are about to keel over, and we can't afford to mess up this broadcast. I told you, we need to do good tonight, and if you can't get your head out of this Genoa mess, that's not gonna happen. So come with me.“ Will got up and took a step towards his bathroom, holding his hand out to her.

Mac realized that he was serious, but apart from the fact that they _really_ didn't have time she had to honor the promise she had given herself. _Fuck!_ Will couldn't have picked a worse time for this. Right now was definitely not the moment she would have chosen to tell him about her decision. She swallowed hard and looked down to the floor, before quietly saying „No.“

„We've got enough time for me to get you off, don't worry.“

Blushing she raised her head, hoping her eyes didn't show how much she actually _wanted_ to follow him, and repeated more firmly. „No, Will...“

„What?“ Will expression turned to incredulity, not believing what he was hearing.

Mac took a deep breath and steeled herself. „I can't do this anymore... Not only now, we... we can't continue with this... No more cups of Joe, Will, I'm sorry...“

Will felt like he had received a blow to his stomach and looked at her stonily. Slowly sitting down again his thoughts were racing. So he had been right all the time, she _had_ only wanted sex from him, and now with having been home in England, with the election coverage being almost over, with the stress going to be considerably getting less over the next days, she didn't want him, didn't need him anymore. _Fuck!_ How could he ever have thought this might be more for her than just sex?

„What do you want from me?“ was all he could say and his voice sounded harsh even to his own ears.

Mac was glad he had decided to stay calm while she herself secretly felt like she wanted to cry. „I wanted to know what the punishment's gonna be this time.“

„This time.“

Mac pushed the office door open, suddenly only wanting to get away from him. „I'll be in the control room.“

„What was the punishment last time?“ Will shouted after her, and this did make her stop and step back into the room. Mac couldn't believe that Will was actually asking this. Had he forgotten everything that had happened during the last six fucking years, beginning with him throwing her out of their apartment, her going to the Middle East and then all the stunts he had pulled on her since her return? „ _Seriously_?“

„How have...? There's no one in the world... You were sleeping with... For four month you were....!"

„I was fucking my ex-boyfriend.“

„Lying.“ Will managed to finish his sentence as intended but then could only look at her for a moment, taken by surprise at her bluntness. „And... yeah. .. You... I've never heard you use that word as a verb before when we're actually not... Well, you know...“

„I didn't like how it sounded.“ Mac admitted quietly.

„It wasn't a punishment. I broke up with you. You're the only person who's baffled by why.“

Now Mac 's frustration was getting the better of her again; why oh why did he have to be so stubborn? „I've got news for you: You're the only person who's not baffled why it's six years later...“

„I'm unforgiving?“

She jumped right at that. „So you'll understand my concern when it comes to Genoa and wrecking your professional life, too, which, let's face it, you take more seriously than your personal life anyway.“

„I'll try to figure out why.“ Will's almost arrogant reply made Mac take a step back, dramatically open her arms and ask „So what's in store...?“

„You know what, hon? Can I just say _'fuck you'_?

„Yeah!“

„I've never punished you.“

Finally her desperation caught up with Mac, and all the punishments he had given her over the last two years alone paraded in front of her eyes. Didn't he even see what he had done all this time? She couldn't hold back anymore, so she pointed her pen at him and raised her voice. „King George forgave _America_ in less time than it's taking you...“

„What is the right amount of time?“ Now Will got loud as well. „You and everyone else is baffled at six years, I assume you're talking about the staff. How long do you guys think is the right amount of time?“

„Twenty-eight months.“

That shut Will up for a few seconds. „You seriously came up with a number?“

„I was kidding...“ Right this moment Jenna opened the office door and looked at Mac, sensing the tension in the room or maybe even having overheard the last words. „Time?“

„Yeah.“ Jenna nodded.

Mac started walking while Will got up. „I'm sorry I didn't explode for you.“

Needing to have the last word she stated the obvious. „It's a long night.“

Will grabbed his coat and followed her outside. He was boiling inside; he was angry with Mac for leading im on, utterly disappointed, and right now he wished he had a Tea Party member in front of him he could take apart. Maybe he would get lucky later...

Composing himself he walked into the studio where Elliot, Taylor and Sloan were already waiting for him, the latter giving him a curious look, so he quickly tried to put on an even calmer face.

While Will tried to convince Sloan that everything was alright Mac went into the control room where her team was already busy with the last preparations for the broadcast that was about to start. Sound levels were checked, mics tested, the first predictions were coming in from the control desk and graphics were put on the screen, ready to roll.  
Then there was a minute right before they went on the air, the calm before the storm, and Mac took this moment to take a sip of water and gather her thoughts which were still partly dealing with the situation back in Will's office.

So now he knew. She had told him that it was over and that at the worst possible moment. He had shown a little emotion, but had been much calmer than she had expected. Maybe she had been wrong? Maybe he didn't have any feelings for her after all?

Whatever the case, right now she had to watch out that he didn't go rogue during the show.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Apart from a few 'hiccups', like Elliot's presentation of the decision desk and Sloan absolutely unnecessary mentioning of their Genoa screw up, the show was going fine, even if Taylor was trying to hold Will solely responsible for the Republican and Tea Party bashing in the media.

Earlier, when Mac and Charlie had talked about Leona letting Reese make the decision whether ACN should accept their resignations, he had assured her that Will would never fire her, but she just had to find a way. If the complaint was filed tomorrow morning that would be the end for the show and Will's career. She couldn't count on Reese, who knew what he would do in the midst of a party, after several glasses of alcohol and with his mother around who could take the decision-making power from him again at any given moment.

All this was consuming her while she should be concentrating on the show, and as she couldn't do anything about it while being on air she chose to fret about some actually irrelevant screw up on her personal Wikipedia page instead and made poor Neal her personal lightning rod, urging him to fix it.

Finally they had a short break and Mac went to her office to check some election numbers. Will had followed her but stayed standing in the door. „What are you doing?“

„I'm gonna see what's going on in Ohio.“ Resting her chin in her hand she didn't even look up from her computer screen.

„The people who know are fifty feet from here, they'll tell us...“ Not getting an answer Will went on, trying to start a normal conversation. „I think it's going really well, you should enjoy it.“

Still not averting her eyes from the screen Mac sighed. „In the old days, didn't they offer you the option of a shot of whiskey and a pistol?“

„How old?“

„Like... the Holy Roman Empire?“

„With whiskey and pistols?“

Finally Mac took a deep breath and turned towards him. „It wouldn't necessarily look like scapegoating. It would look like...“

„Mac...“ Will's attempt to interrupt her sounded resigned and was of course unsuccessful.

„...you and Charlie took the necessary and appropriate steps to address the mistake.“

Closing the door behind him Will looked at her and sighed. „Can I tell you something?“

„Fire me. You're the only one who can do it.“

Bracing himself on Mac's desk his mind was swirling. After all this time, didn't she know him at all? Did she really think he would care what anybody was thinking about him when it came to her? Maybe he had to remind her that it hadn't been him who had messed everything up the first time around. That he had always been there for her and had always had her back, professionally and in their relationship.  
„I was a really good boyfriend.“

Mac looked at him with wide eyes, surprised that he would bring this up now, and slightly tilted her head. „I know that! I never said you weren't!“

„You sort of did...“

„That's wrong!“

„You think... You'd think I'm not firing you because it would make _me_ look bad? That crossed your mind?“

„Give me a break, Billy... It's not like your indifferent to your image...“

That was it. „You think it's bec...my _image_?“ Will got louder and couldn't hide the anger in his voice. „What have I ever done to deserve _that_? How big a dick do you think I am, and how long have you thought it?“  
He felt like an idiot and didn't care anymore. Mac had played him, she had used him all this time, and now she had made it clear that she thought he only hadn't let her go because he was worried what people might think of him, when in reality he would have walked through fire for her. _Fuck her!_

Mac didn't answer his question that he had probably meant rhetorically anyway but only swallowed hard and averted her eyes, trying to blink the tears aways that were threatening to fall. She knew what was coming and although she had wanted it to happen, solely for his sake, she really didn't want to actually hear him say the words.

But Will didn't take pity on her, and while he successfully tried not to show how hurt he was, he was furious on the inside at the same time. Mac didn't want him anymore, she had rejected him once more, and now she'd even insulted him by ascribing the lowest motives to something he had done to protect her. Pointing his finger at her he needed to make clear that he wouldn't just let her get away with this.  
„I was a good guy... I was a _good_ guy...“ After a short pause he continued. „You're fired. End of the broadcast. Please don't tell anyone.“

There it was... Mac straightened herself up, still trying to keep her tears in, and nodded. „I won't...“

With a last glance at her Will stormed out of the office, almost running into Jenna who had come to get them. „They need you.“

Mac slowly got up, her thoughts understandably still with what had happened just moments ago.

She was fired, mission accomplished.  
For weeks now she had tried to get him to do it, and she should be glad that he finally did, so why did she feel so bad?  
She didn't even have to think about the answer... All this time Will had refused to listen to her pleas, but now that she had told him there wouldn't be any sex between them anymore, apparently there was no further reason to keep her around...

So she had been wrong in believing he felt the same way she did. She had been wrong in believing that he loved her. The way Will had looked at her a few minutes ago wasn't at all like the looks she had gotten used to over the last weeks again. No, it had exactly matched the expression he had shown the day she had come back to ACN. So now she knew; he obviously hadn't forgiven her. He still hated her and had simply enjoyed the sex.

She couldn't blame him, hell, _she_ had been the one to start it, praying that he would help her out. But now Will had made his choice, and even though it was not the one she had been hoping for, at least she knew. She would get the show over and done with tonight, and then she would leave and try to move on. Wherever and however, she didn't know, but she would figure it out. For now she only felt like something had broken inside her.

Finally following Jenna she joined Will and Charlie and tried to concentrate on a story Don and Maggie had dug up. Afterwards she went back into the control room while Will was headed back to the studio.

Mac knew him well enough to realize that he would be looking for a way to blow off steam and just hoped he wouldn't go after any of their interview guests. She was certain he wouldn't be listening to anything she said right now, so she would stick to just giving him facts and figures he needed to know on the different election results.

Then she watched Will address Taylor. „Remember what I said before about my personal politics?“

„Sure.“

„Forget it, take me apart.“  
With this he turned his face back to the camera, tight-lipped, determined and with an unforgiving stare while waiting for the countdown. He knew Mac was watching him, and he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing that he was hurting.

He only had to get through this evening, and then he would never see her face or have her in his ear again. He didn't need her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, due to the amount of dialogue this chapter feels a little different to me than the ones before - I hope it's still working for you?
> 
> One more to go!


	7. Election Night II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... This has taken me ages due to the real life insisting on taking up all my time, so I decided to split the last chapter up (again), so you don't have to wait any longer!
> 
> Enjoy reading and please bear with me for the last (really!) chapter...
> 
> Edit:  
> Again my thanks go to Mr. Sorkin for his wonderful words!

**Election Night II**  


Mac was devastated, but she knew that she somehow had to get through the night.  
Will had fired her, and although she had wanted him to do it, the moment he had said the words her world had come tumbling down.

But as much as it hurt, she could not afford to think about it. It had been the first step to saving their show, and all she wanted to do right now was to leave ACN with her dignity intact.  
She would deliver one more great broadcast and make sure that this would be the start of Newsnight 3.0, the beginning of gaining back the viewers trust. Maybe this could be her legacy, even if her professional reputation would be destroyed by tomorrow.

Earlier, when Don had stood up to Will, defying him and insisting that the senior staff would indeed resign, and that the reason for that was Will himself, who had installed his own high principles in them, she had been so damn proud of all of them. And she knew that Will was too, even if he wouldn't admit it.

This loyalty and sense of ethics would be the basis for the future, and with these people by his side Will would do fine. Now she only had to decide, where she would go from here.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Will was sitting at his anchor desk, appearing very professional on the outside, taking part in the discussions and announcing election results, but he was currently acting on two levels, and on the inside it was all about Mac.

He had to think back to the second night at his apartment and how close he had been to telling her that he still loved her. Back then he had been glad he didn't, because he thought it wouldn't have been fair to Mac. Although at that point he had forgiven her for cheating on him, he still hadn't been able to trust her again.  
For good reason, as had been confirmed today.

She had used him for sex and for sex only, and the moment she didn't need him anymore she had rejected him. And then she'd insulted him by questioning his motifs for not firing her. It almost seemed as if she didn't know him at all.

At first he had been so mad at her and only wanted her out of his life. But now, only a little while later he was starting to imagine his life, private and professional, without her, and he didn't like it. But he also knew that with what had happened earlier tonight they would not be able to still work together.

Before, he hadn't known if he could trust her because of what she had done six years ago – Gosh, had it really been that long? But now he had to add her behaviour during the recent months and tonight to that mix, and that just proved that he still couldn't today.

Even if he hadn't told her yet he had opened his heart to her – again. He had let her in once more, only to find out that she didn't want him. But maybe in the end it was his own fault – Why the fuck had he started to invest his feelings in her again in the first place...?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The show went on well with Will and Mac solely communicating in regard to the show, and if any of the others noticed they didn't say anything.  
During a short commercial break they met outside the studio and agreed to let Elliot and Sloan handle one of the next segments in front of the camera with Don heading the control room to prove to the 44th floor that the so far second string could do it.

When the moment came Will went to the hair & make-up room, where he watched Elliot's trial-run when Mac entered the room. Looking at the TV she gave Will a little smile. „So far, so good...“

Except for a nod she didn't get a response, so she went past him and undid her pony tail in front of the mirror, unsuccessfully trying to add some volume to her hair with her fingers before turning around.

„I was wrong to think the reason you weren't firing me was vanity.“  
This got Will's attention and he turned off the volume of the TV before swivelling around his chair to be able to look at her while she continued.

„I was wrong to think the reason you weren't firing me was that it would look bad, I'm sorry for that.“ Mac shrugged and waited if he would accept her apology, mentally sighing with relief when he nodded once more, this time definitely appreciatively.

„You want your job back?“

At this she laughed and shook her head. „I don't think it'll make that much difference now... Charlie told me Leona's letting Reese make the decision...“

Will raised his eyebrows and then looked away. „Yeah...“

After a moment of silence Mac took heart and moved the conversation to the topic she wanted to talk about. This could very well be the last time she would ever be alone with Will in a room again, maybe the last time she would see him at all, and she tried to get up her courage to talk to him about the past.  
Seeing what he had said to her in her office earlier she knew that she had to set some things straight. And really, what did she have to lose now?

„ _I was a really good boyfriend.“_  
_„I know that! I never said you weren't!“_  
_„You sort of did...“_

She should have realized already before that Will still thought she had cheated on him because he had done something wrong, or because he hadn't been enough for her. After all he did say that he had never read the e-mails she had sent him after their separation.

If tonight really was the last time she saw him, then she at least had to try to get him to understand what had happened all those years ago, why she had gone back to see Brian. God, what she wouldn't give if she could undo everything or disperse those four months from time...

„I tried to explain it my first day here, the second I saw you, do you remember?“

Will gazed at her but didn't say anything. He had half expected her to try to talk to him if she'd get the chance, and he figured he could indulge her. Maybe it would help him to ring down the curtain on their relationship, whatever its exact nature was, or better: what it had been.

„I was hung up on him, because he'd rejected me, that's normal... I liked that he hated that I was dating you.“

„We weren't just dating!“ Will put a lot of emphasis on this statement, but she immediately retorted.

„ _Later_ , we weren't just dating _later_. At the beginning we were though...“ Mac watched him with a slightly hopeful expression. For the first time she had the feeling he was really listening instead of automatically going into defence. Keeping her eyes on him she went on.  
„And I was using you to get... you know... And then I fell in love with you... and I never saw him again... And if I hadn't told you, you'd never have known...“

At this he couldn't refrain from asking, sincerity in his voice. „So why did you tell me?“

„If I had to do it over again I wouldn't, but... I'd never been in a relationship as serious as ours, and I thought it was what I was supposed to do.“

Will slightly nodded, as if he didn't believe her. „You're sure you didn't tell me, because you _wanted_ to break up?“

Mac rolled her eyes. „Oh, fuck you...“

„It's a reasonable...“

„Yeah, I'm sure! Do you really think I wouldn't have just _said_ so instead of telling you about me cheating and letting you end it? Are _you_ sure you're not a massive bag of douche? 'Cause let me tell you something: It' just plain weird that you were prepared to marry me, that you'd bought a ring, but were unwilling to read any of my e-mails or answer any of my calls...“

Will moved in his chair. „Yeah, I'm sorry for this, but the ring was a practical joke.“ At this he saw her freeze, just staring at him, and he suddenly felt the need to defend himself.

„You were having the staff vet me, remember? I knew you were gonna find the offer from when we were together, for me to do something on the West Coast. I knew you were gonna come into the office, waving it and saying _'Aha! You were never as serious as you said, because if you were you would have told me about a job you were considering on the other side of the country'_... That's what happened...“

Mac, who had just been looking at him during his words, was still trying to understand what he had just said and closed her eyes, before finally being able to slowly formulate a reply, trying to somehow remain rational. „You know, I heard... the ring was a practical joke...“ She squinted her eyes, unsuccessfully trying to figure out if anything else he had said ended up in her head. „...and then I didn't hear anything after that...“

Will lifted his hands appeasingly. „It wasn't a joke, it was a rejoinder. It wasn't a joke...“

„You took out a ring and showed it to me as proof that your intention had been to marry me.“

Surprisingly Mac managed to stay calm and state this as a fact, while Will started to feel uncomfortable and squirmed a little in his seat.  
„I bought the ring that morning... Scott's... assistant did...“

This was getting better and better and Mac reiterated. „You're agent's assistant went to Tiffany's and bought the ring that morning?“

Will nodded, sensing that he had obviously made a mistake by telling Mac. „Yes. I'm sorry and you were never supposed to know, so I get the irony and I am _really_ sorry.“

„That ring had to have cost a quarter of a million dollars.“

„I'm not really sure, we returned it that afternoon. I asked them to get a nice one, you once described a ring you saw in a movie...“

Finally Mac couldn't listen to him anymore, so nonchalantly talking about one of the most heartbreaking days of her life and letting her know that it had just been another one of his punishments. She wouldn't... couldn't call it a prank.. „Okay...“

„Mac!“

She lifted her hands defensively and took a step back. „You know, no kidding, I'm gonna step away...“

„Hang on...“ Will got up from his chair to stand in front of her.

„No, because the thing is: I'm serious. I feel that I'm gonna hit you, and you have to be back on the air, so I have to step away...“

„You're not going to hit me...“

„I'm worried that I am, and I'm the executive producer of the show...“

„I can defend my...“ Will moved closer to Mac, but again she lifted her hands in between them, waving him to step back, and he stopped. When he tried once more Mac just determinedly repeated her movements which earned her an astonished and at the same time impressed gaze from him. Pointing over his shoulder with one hand she continued. „Stand on the other side of the room.“

„This is stupid.“

„There is a reasonable chance, a credible threat that I'm gonna hit you, and I don't want you to have a bloody lip when we come back from commercial, that should make sense to you.“

Will held her eyes for a second,  but drawing a deep breath he then turned around to walk away from her. „Like I said, if I'd ever thought there was a chance you'd find out...“

At this Mac finally did snap and got loud for the first time. „You just _told me_!“

Having put a save distance between them Will looked at her again but didn't know what to say to that.

Mac's heart though had just broken a little more. It was one thing to not be able to forgive her for what she had done. But deliberately hurting her? Inventing schemes to make her feel bad, to make her suffer even more than she did anyway?  
She took a deep breath.

„I brutally hurt you and that's a fact and facts don't change. But in my lifetime...“Mac shook her head at Will. „I've never done it intentionally...“

Now Will couldn't hold back anymore, and he poured all the bitterness he had nurtured since her rejection earlier that evening in his office into his question. „Are you _sure_ about that?“

Mac frowned in confusion and slightly shook her head. „What do you mean?“

„Haven't you just been using me these last months?“

„Have I... _What?_ “

Getting defensive Will went on. „You _never_ said anything afterwards. You just left me on the couch or sneaked out in the morning. And then tonight you blew me off because you don't need me anymore. What am I supposed to think?“

„You... you...“ Mac looked at him with wide eyes, stunned by his accusation, and didn't know what to say, or better, how to start.  
„Do you really think I would... No, I _could_ just fuck you all this time without...? Maybe the first time, when I was so exhausted... I had told myself that there were no feelings involved, but later I've realized that I could never have asked you if I...“ She shook her head and looked him straight in the eyes.  
„Do you _really_ not know that I'm in love with you...? That I've never stopped?“

Wills thoughts were in a whirlwind and he just stared at her.  
Mac loved him? But then why the fuck did she blow him off tonight? And why did she...?

The turmoil in his mind quietened down again when he heard her continue.

„I thought _you_ just wanted easy sex and _that's_ why I didn't say anything... Apart from our little encounters you never let me believe that there could be _anything_ else between us. You've never said anything either, you know...? You couldn't even tell me that you'd missed me when I went to London! And what about all the stunts you've pulled on me...?" Will flinched involuntarily.  
"But the last times we've met... In your apartment and the day my father came into the hospital, it had been so different... I really thought we could have another chance, and _that's_ why I couldn't go on like that. And then you just shut down and don't even wonder _why_ I said 'no' tonight? No sex anymore, so _now_ you fire me? After weeks of begging you to do it? And now you are blaming _me_?“

At this Will seemed to sag a little and turned his eyes away from her, not being able to look at her, as he actually realized for the first time how much he had hurt her as well, the last time just now, a minute ago when telling her about the ring. Then he forced himself to meet her eyes again and quietly, but sincerely said „I'm sorry... It's just... I.. I don't know if I can trust you...“

Mac just looked at him, tears shining in her eyes. „If you don't know that by now, then I can't help you.“

With this she nodded, still trying to get her head around what she had just learned. So that was it...  
With a long last look at him and a sad, fatalistic smile she shrugged and walked past him towards the door.  
„We cap the house and then look at Colorado when we come back.“

Will watched her leave the room, the events of the evening suddenly weighing even heavier on his shoulders than before, and Mac's disappearance from his life threateningly imminent. Finally, the door was already closed behind her and she far out of earshot, he quietly said „Yeah...“

„ _If you don't know that by now, then I can't help you.“_

These words Mac had spoken were running through his head, and something was nagging on him, but he didn't know what it was.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Will went into his office during the next break Charlie was already waiting in his office. It was clear that his boss had something on his mind, so he lit a cigarette, sat down on his desk and turned his attention to him.

Charlie got up from the chair he had been sitting in and reminded Will that they hadn't brought the story about Petreus resigning because they hadn't traded the story for one that could possibly influence a few thousand voters in California. They had made an immediate and unanimous decision to do the ethically right thing instead of breaking a major, countrywide story that could have helped restore the audience's trust in them. Then he paused, only to proudly continue after a moment.

„We have come a long way... I'm _not_ resigning. And neither are you...“  
This surprised Will and he got even more attentive when Charlie continued. „Are we out of our _fucking_ minds? Dantana doctored the tape, that's what happened, Will. _We_ know the truth and the mob doesn't. When did we decide it was an institutional failure? We waited eleven months! We know people who would have gone after the second red team meeting, or even the first. Do you agree with what I'm saying?“

Will slightly turned away from Charlie to remove the ash from the tip of his cigarette. „I believe except for the things we did wrong we did everything right. And I can't live with Mac taking the blame for...“  
He stopped mid-sentence, realizing what he had just said and not listening to Charlie anymore who kept on rambling.  
Will though actually froze and slowly repeated his own words in his head.

„ _Except for the things we did wrong we did everything right...“_

That was it! That was the thought he hadn't been able to catch before, after Mac had left the hair & make-up room. Except for the thing _she_ had done wrong, she had done everything right!

„ _I don't know if I can trust you...“_

„ _If you don't know that by now, then I can't help you.“_

He had been wondering about this since the day he had discovered that he had forgiven her. And suddenly he realized that he _could_ trust her!

With everything she had done _for him_ , and all he had done _to her_ over the last years... It had all been him!  
Buying the ring, showing it to her and then telling her the real story behind it tonight, parading all these other women through the newsroom... Nina...

Oh God, how could he have done that to Mac?  
Having a relationship with the woman who tried to clobber both of them with her take-down pieces...?

Will heard Charlie still continue with his monologue but only caught a random word here and there while his thoughts stayed with Mac.

He had been keeping her at arm's lengths, even after the voicemail he had left for her more than a year ago, in which he had told her that he still loved her. Even after he had found out that she had never heard it, and that he had punished her for nothing... Bringing Brian in... _Fuck_ , he had screwed her over time and time again, and _still_ she'd done everything to protect him and their show.

Hell, Mac had wanted him to _fir_ e her to save his career! What more did he need to trust her?

She had always been by his side, had taken everything he'd dealt out. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if by now _she_ didn't trust _him_ anymore!

What had he done? Why didn't he see this before?

He thought back to the last months, to the passion in their lovemaking, the tenderness, the hotness. But also how he had enjoyed simply spending time with Mac, talking to her, holding her. The night he had cooked for them. The way he had hurt for her when she'd told him about the stabbing and when her father'd had a heart attack. How good it held felt to just be there for her, to be close to her, to support her.

And Mac... Deep inside he had known that she wouldn't continously have asked him for 'a cup of Joe' if there hadn't been feelings involved on her side. Just as he had only met with her because he was still in love with her.  
Did he only make himself believe that she had just used him for sex because he had thought that he couldn't trust _her_? Or his _own_ _feelings_?

Thinking about all this he realized that he actually should be glad that she had said 'no' to his advances earlier tonight. They could have gone on like that forever without forcing the issue; he had to admit to himself that he probably would have never come to his senses without this wake-up call... And instead of asking for the reason why she had said 'no“ all he had done was to sulk in his pain and disappointment, and he'd hurt her again by telling her about the ring...

He almost didn't dare to think it, but maybe there was a possibility that she had rejected him tonight because she loved him and needed to put her foot down on just sex?

Now it was on him. He had to jump in, feet first. He had to tell her how he felt before it was too late!

Suddenly he realized that Charlie was still talking, addressing him directly and waiting for an answer. „It's gotten strange now. Are you able to hear me speaking?“

It took a second for his question to reach Will's brain, but then he startled and stubbed out his cigarette. „She. Except for the things she did wrong she did everything right, too... The rest was me.“

Charlie just watched him getting up and moving around his desk, his confusion clearly reflected on his face. „I'm lost.“

„Eh... yes!“ Will pointed his finger at him before taking his briefcase and taking out the key to his desk drawer. „We're going to do the things you've just said... for the reasons you just gave...“ Unlocking the top drawer he took out a little turquoise box and put the keys back. „I've missed parts of what you were saying at the... end, but that's just... gonna have to be... I'll be right back.“

Heading to the door he turned around one last time and encouraged Charlie with a supportive shake of his fist. „Yes! Way to go!“

With this he left his friend, who was completely taken by surprise, behind and went to look for Mac. Not being able to find her in the hair & make-up room, her office or the control room he finally entered the bullpen, almost running by now, and asked Tess if she had seen her.

„I haven't. But I have facts about the Great Lakes region...“

Will brushed her off. What if Mac had decided to not wait until the end of the show but had already left? He needed to find her!  
„Right this moment that's the least I've ever cared about.“ He stepped into the middle of the room, opened his arms wide and shouted almost desperately.

„Has anyone seen Mac?"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
Mac was sitting at the anchor desk and used the break to go over the last details for the next segment, but she wasn't able to concentrate.

It was almost over. Only a little longer and her last show as executive producer of 'Newsnight' would end. She tried to concentrate on the paper in front of her, but her mind kept going back to Will, to how he had finally fired her tonight and their fight in the hair & make up room.

His confession about the ring had caught her completely by surprise; she would never have imagined that he would stoop so low...  
Bringing in Brian, okay, in a weird way she could relate to that; she knew where that had come from, even though she had thought at the time that they had been making progress. But to make up a story about how he had wanted to marry her? To buy a gorgeous engagement ring just to corroborate this story, only because he didn't want to admit that he hadn't been completely honest in their relationship either? Maybe even enjoying the perk of hurting her along the way?

Mac sighed. She should have known that talking to him about the past wouldn't do any good, after all this time he still wasn't able to forgive her. But at least she had tried and didn't need to ask herself in the days, weeks, months and probably years to come if she had missed her chance. She would...  
Suddenly she heard Will's voice over the noise coming from the bullpen.

„Has anyone seen Mac?“

Mac lifted her head and saw him standing in the middle of the room, his arms open wide, his back to her. „I'm right here.“

In a flash Will turned around to the studio and saw her sitting at the desk, giving him an artificial smile. Moving towards her he felt utter relief, which was quickly taking over by his nervousness. „Okay.... I didn't...“  
Then he remembered that for whatever superstitious reason no one was supposed to ever walk straight through the non-existing wall between studio and bullpen but to use the door, so he raised his pointer finger, asking for Mac's patience, and took the longer way around.

Mac sighed and rested her head on her hand, waiting for the studio door to open.  
Seeing Will spinning around and hurrying towards her, only to make the sharp turn to take the longer way instead, would have been funny if she hadn't been so wound up as it was, not to speak of her mental and physical exhaustion.

Why was Will shouting for her all over the newsroom? What did he want now? Hadn't he hurt her enough for one evening? Did he want her to leave right now? Couldn't he even stand to have her in his ear for the rest of the show?  
But maybe it was related to the show, so she had to talk to him.

Then Will entered the studio, coming very close and putting his hand on her shoulder, and asked her to follow him into a quiet corner, away from the cameras.

„There's... Okay... Okay, there is a story.“

„What?“ Crossing her arms in front of her chest she waited for him to continue, immediately in producing mode. So it was about the show.

„There's a story about a kid who keeps shredding paper, and his parents are taking him to all kind of doctors to get him to stop shredding papers. Finally they take him to the most expensive doctor in the world, and he turns to the kid and says _'Kid, if you'd stop shredding paper, you're parents will stop dragging you to doctors.'_ And the kid turns to this parents and just says _'Why didn't you just say so?'_ “  
Shrugging his shoulders Will gave Mac a hopeful look.

Mac on the other hand had no clue what he was talking about and was almost convinced he had gone bonkers. So giving him a slow, patient nod she just said „Well... alright then...“'  
Wanting to walk away she started to turn around, but Will stopped her by raising one hand without daring to touch her, while taking a small box out of his pocket with the other and starting to open it.

„The point of the story is that the kid could make himself happy by just stopping... I think that's the point... I don't know, I've been trying to... figure it out...“  
While he fumbled to get the ring out of the case he looked down and Mac let her gaze follow his, her eyes opening wide.

When Will finally held the infamous ring between his fingers he lifted it up to show it to her. „...but, eh... I didn't return it...“

Realizing what he was holding in his hands Mac's eyes got even bigger, and she moved her gaze back up to his face, disbelief written all over her own. Taking a deep breath Will went on. God, he didn't think he had ever been so nervous in his entire life... What if he was too late?

„...because I'm in love with you... and, eh, because of...“

„Excuse me?“

„...eh... Will you marry me?“

„Wait.“ Mac shook her had, she must have heard wrong.

„I said _'Will you marry me?'_ And before that I... I... I've said that I'm in love with you....“ Will repeated. „That's... that's... that's what I'm getting at...That's the... I feel like I could do this so much better if I can have a second...“

Seeing Mac still staring at him, obviously in shock, Will just kept on rambling. Some of his words had to be the right ones, had to stick, they just had to. And even if not, as long as he didn't stop talking at least she couldn't say 'no'...

Mac on the other hand could not believe her ears. What was he talking about? Hadn't he just told her he wasn't able to trust her? That he'd used this ring, the one he was holding in his hand right now, to hurt her repeatedly? Finally she managed to speak. „What in the fuck is happening right now?“

„If, eh, if... if I...I don't... I don't ever want to not be...“ Will raised his hands. „No, I love you, I'm gonna go back to that, and will you marry me?“

Then Will's demeanor changed and he seemed to become more confident, after all Mac hadn't walked out on him or started laughing at him just yet.  
„And let me just say... I really think you should. I think you should say yes... _But_.... no matter what you say, there is no chance I am ever gonna hurt you again.“ Still Mac could only stare at him and blink. „And no matter what you say, I'm gonna be in love with you for the rest of my life, there's no way out of that, that is just a physical law of the universe, you own me... No matter what you say...“

„Yes...“ Mac swallowed hard, but Will hadn't even heard her.

„...I will never stop...“ Finally her answer reached his brain and he stopped.

„Yes...I'm saying yes...“

Now it was Will's turn to just stare at her. This time it was him who couldn't believe his ears and he needed some time to process it. After a long second the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, hardly noticable, before immediately turning serious again. He simply had to confirm that he had heard correctly, that he hadn't been too late, and stated matter-of-factly „You're saying yes.“

Mac couldn't help a happy laugh, not believing that he could doubt her answer, and shook her head. „Yes...“

Again Will only looked at her, but finally he visibly relaxed and sighed „Thank God...“  
Taking an awkward step towards her he took her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. It took Mac a moment to catch up, but then she put her arms around him and reciprocated the kiss.

For a minute they both indulged in this unexpected moment, finally being able to enjoy a kiss wholeheartedly, this time without any thoughts about what this would mean and what kind of relationship they had in the back of their minds. They both put all their feelings into it, but eventually Mac broke the kiss and murmered „Took you long enough...“

„Seriously?“ Will's face had disbelief written all over it. „That's what you're...?“

„Shut it!“ With a mischievous smile Mac pulled him in at his lapels for another couple of quick, hard kisses. There would be time enough later to let him know what she had meant by this, that she had been waiting for him for weeks to finally figure out his feelings for her. This was not the time.

Walking her backwards until she touched the studio wall Will slightly bent his knees to kiss her again. Finally he was allowed to, without needing to hear or say a codeword first, and he poured all his love into it. Mac moved her arms around his shoulders, burying her fingers in his hair while he let his hands run up her back to her shoulders. Then she moved her hands to meet his which made him realize that he was still holding the boxes and the ring.

Hesitantly he parted from her, eliciting a protesting moan from Mac, and put everything except the token of his love back into his pocket before kneeling down and taking her left hand, causing the first tears to gather in her eyes.

„MacKenzie Morgan McHale, I love you with all my heart. You are my best friend and I trust you implicitly, with my life. Will you marry me?“

Mac wiped away a stray tear with her free hand and repeated her earlier words with a teary, yet firm voice. „Yes, I will.“

With a happy sigh Will carefully slid the ring on her finger and kissed her hand before looking up. „This is the only ring I have right now, but if after everything you don't want it I would fully understand. We can go to Tiffany's tomorrow to get you another one.“

Mac took in the sight of the ring on her finger and didn't say anything for a moment, thinking about the heartbreak it had cost her. But then she smiled and pulled Will up. „I love it, Billy. It stands for everything we had to go through to get here... And I did tell you that this is the ring that would do it, remember?“

Will could only return her smile, amazed by her generosity and ability to forgive. Moving in for another kiss she met him half way, but then she stopped. „We only have a few minutes left, we should go and tell the others.“

„What? _Now_?“ Will wouldn't have minded keeping it to themselves for a while, but if that was what Mac wanted, of course he would go along.

„Well, I can't have you change your mind on me again, can I?“ Mac winked and waved him off with a grin when Will immediately protested her assumption. „I'm kidding. But I'm actually quite certain that at least the girls will not fail to notice this gigantic rock on my finger sooner or later, so we really better tell them, don't you think?“

He smirked. „Engaged for a total of five minutes and already being henpecked, that must be record...“

Mac knew he was joking but still she felt obliged to ask, easing the question with a tender smile „Do you mind?“

„Never!“ Stealing another kiss Will then grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the studio door. „I know I've told you that you own me, and you do... But believe me, tonight after the show you'll belong to me!“

Mac blushed slightly, but then she grinned. „Looking forward to that...“

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, you've got one more chapter to look forward to, so I hope you don't mind too much that this still isn't the end!?


	8. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this time it's really the last chapter, just a little 'round-up' (Okay, edit later: It isn't...)
> 
> But hey: Fluff and smut - What more do you want?? ;-)

**Home**

„Sloan is never going to forgive me...“ Having Mac leaning against him and mumbling into his chest Will wasn't sure if he had heard right. They were finally on their way home after the staff had insisted on celebrating after the show, and both their adrenaline highs were slowly wearing off.

„What did you say, Hon?“

Despite her exhaustion Mac couldn't help but smile to herself. How different that term of endearment had just sounded compared to earlier this evening in his office. „Sloan... She'll never let me hear the end of it, announcing our engagement when she wasn't around.“

„Don't worry about it. I heard through the grapevine that she kissed Don tonight, that should make it even...“

„Not really... She did it right in front of us in the control room, so I was there...“ Mac giggled. „You should have seen Don's face!“

„I guess you were right when you said that Don should be with Sloan...“ Will let his hand roam up and down Mac's arm and pressed a kiss into her hair. He hadn't been able to keep his hands off her all evening, much to the amusement of their staff and Charlie, but he hadn't cared and didn't intend to start now. „How are you feeling?“

„Tired.... but extraordinarily happy...“ With a contented sigh she tilted her head and looked up at him. „What about you?“

He just smiled at her and gave her a quick and tender kiss. „Me, too. I couldn't be happier. But I think as soon as we're home I'll take you to bed.“

„I should hope so!“ Mac grinned at him, too tired for any attempt of seductiveness or subtlety.

Will raised his eyebrow, but luckily they pulled up at her building before he got the chance to express any doubts about her endurance for the remainder of this night. Grabbing his go-bag he had taken with him from the office he opened the door and got out of the car before helping Mac and wishing the driver a good night.

With his arm around her shoulders they entered the lobby and headed straight for the elevator. On their way up Mac snuggled into him; now that she could touch him again openly there was nothing that could keep her from doing just that.  
Will was equally intend on not letting go of her as she was, so he wrapped his arms around her to hold her close and rest his chin on top of her head.

When the doors opened on her floor with a _'ding'_ they reluctantly moved apart a little so that they could walk to her apartment door. While Mac searched for the key in her purse Will's arms found their way around her waist from behind, and he placed hot kisses on her neck. Not that she minded, but definitely being distracted by this she needed a few tries to fit the key into the lock before they could finally enter her apartment.

After switching on the light and placing the keys in a little decorative bowl on the entrance table Mac turned around and looped her arms around Will's neck, smiling at him. „We're home.“

Suddenly she was hit by the significance of these words:  
No matter if they'd move in together right away or if they'd each keep their own place for a while, from now on she could go home with Will whenever she wanted to!  
This was definitely not the end she had expected for this evening, especially after he had fired her earlier, and she quickly pulled him in for a kiss before he could notice the tears that threatened to show in her eyes.

Will immediately responded, dropped the bag from his hand and enveloped her in his arms, tenderly moving his lips against hers but not asking for anything more. After a moment he broke the kiss, causing Mac to make a disapproving sound and try to catch his lips again.

Instead Will opened the buttons of her overcoat and let it slide down her arms to throw it on a chair, his own quickly following. „You're tired, Mac. Time for you to sleep.“

Blinking up at him she smiled teasingly while letting her hands run up and down his chest. „And here I always thought you are so smart...“ Rising on her toes she softly bit down on his lower lip with her teeth before soothingly letting her tongue run over it.  
„Time for bed? Definitely. Time to sleep? Later...“

With this she took Will's hand and headed straight for the bedroom, pulling him after her. Quickly bending down he grabbed his go-bag which he dropped again once they entered the bedroom to pull Mac into his arms again.  
While one hand moved to her ass to press her against him the other trailed upwards where it pushed some loose strands of hair behind her ear.

„You must know, there is nothing I want more right now than you, but you _are_ exhausted, so if you rather want to sleep that's absolutely fine.“  
As much as he loved her and as true as his statement had been that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in real life, by now he was pretty certain that if he was to repeat his previous words about the place she looked like she was grown in, he would not only describe it as dark and damp but probably be tempted to also add a word like clammy if not even _mouldy_ to it. Not that he was about to ever say that out loud, but he had to at least try to get her to rest. The shine in her eyes was not enough to even begin to cover her exhaustion, and all he wanted was for her to get the sleep she so obviously needed.

Mac however only sighed, contradicted by an amused sparkle in her eyes and her fingers tenderly stroking through Will's hair. „Listen, Billy... I am not about to spend my engagement night like an old married couple...“ While speaking she opened a number of buttons on his dress shirt he hadn't changed out of after the broadcast and let her hands roam over his chest while carrying on. „And maybe you'd like to think back to the first night a few months ago? I was fucking exhausted back then, but I believe we did manage to light the air on fire, didn't we? So stop being such a gentleman...“

With this she leaned forward and sucked his nipple between her teeth, causing him to hiss sharply. „ _Fuck_... Okay, okay... It's not that I don't _want_ to...!“  
Without any further hesitation he leaned in for a kiss and moved his hands to open her blouse while she rid him of his shirt and then moved her hands to his belt. One garment after another found its way to the floor until they were both finally naked.

Pausing for a moment Will let his gaze roam over Mac's beautiful, petite body with its alabaster-colored skin and the delicious curves. Everything about her was engraved into his mind but still left him breathless and in awe every time he saw her. Devoutly his hands followed her soft contours, feather-light touches she could hardly feel but still made her heart miss a beat.

Finally he rested his hands on her hips and walked her backwards to the bed. When her legs hit the side of the mattress Will gently pushed her down and motioned for her to move to the middle so he could lie down next to her.  
Stretching out beside her his hands softly stroke along the length of her body again, worshipping the tiniest details, while his eyes followed their every movement. „You are truly the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, MacKenzie...“

With a deep sigh Mac raised her hands into his hair and pulled him in for a tender kiss. Pressing herself against him she let her tongue run along his lips before moving it into his mouth to meet his. Playfully, but gently they circled them around each other, moved them against and alongside each other, until neither of them could hold back a deep moan.

Finally breaking the kiss Will moved his mouth down to her neck, licking a trail from her jawline to her earlobe to nibble on it. After sucking at her pulse point he moved to to her chest, tenderly covering her breasts with hot kisses before teasing the stiff buds with his tongue. Arching into him Mac pressed his head against her skin for even closer contact, but when he moved further down her body to give his attention to her center she slightly tugged at his hair to stop him. „No...“

Will looked up with a confused frown on his face. „No...?“

„Yes... No...“ Mac sighed breathlessly. „Of course I want you, but tonight I just need to feel you inside me. I need to feel the connection...“

Understanding dawned on his face and with a final kiss to the scar on her abdomen he moved up again so that he could look into her eyes and gently follow the contours of her face with his finger. „I thought I had lost you tonight... I was so afraid I'd be too late and you would just leave me...“

Mac returned his gaze with wide, honest eyes. „You will never lose me, Billy, _never_ , I promise you that.“ With this she pulled him in for another kiss, only pausing to breathe „I need you, now and forever.“

Sighing Will dove into the kiss and let his hand glide down to the vee of her legs to feel if she was ready. Satisfied with the result he stroked over her clit a couple of times, causing her to moan into him, before settling between her thighs. Breaking the connection of their lips he lined himself up and gently pushed into her, his eyes never leaving her face.

Overwhelmed by the sensations that ran through her body Mac gasped and closed her eyes, only to open them again immediately and fix her gaze on Will. His hands were buried in her hair, and he leaned down for another kiss until he had entered her completely. Stilling for a moment to let her adjust to his girth he met her eyes again. „I love you, MacKenzie.“

Watching her tears starting to gather he wiped them from the corners of her eyes with his thumbs before slowly starting to move inside her. This wasn't about passion or wild ecstasy but about celebrating their love, about erasing the past and connecting again, so with tantalizingly tender movements he slowly brought them both to the edge, his eyes never leaving hers.

Tiny gasps and moans escaped Mac's throat and she wrapped her legs around his waist to keep him as close as possible. For the first time since this new relationship had started there was no restraint, no concealment of emotions, and they both felt like they could look into the other's soul, filled with pure love and devotion for each other.

Minimally picking up speed Will finally felt Mac's walls starting to flutter around him. When his questioning look was answered with a smile and a slight nod he took her hand off his shoulder and entangled his fingers of his one hand with hers while moving the other one down to gently rub her clit.  
The sensations drove Mac higher and higher, but when she felt like she couldn't stand it anymore and closed her eyes, Will whispered „Look at me, MacKenzie...“, and she had no choice but to open them again.

When she reached her climax it didn't run through her with elemental force but the steady build-up culminated in gentle ripples and quivers undulating through her whole body, surely partly because of her physical exhaustion but mainly resulting from the tenderness of their lovemaking. Throughout it her gaze never left Will's eyes, and when she reached her breaking point all she could do was to dig her heels into his back and quietly moan. „I love you, Billy!“

Finally hearing these words and seeing their truth reflected in Mac's eyes he stilled and closed his own for a second, revelling in these words he had longed to hear and feel for so long. But then he opened them again, wanting to let Mac also see his own emotions when reaching his peak.

Moving again and speeding up a little more Mac supported his efforts by clenching down on him at the same time. „Come for me, Billy...“  
With this it didn't take long for Will to feel his own release coming up. After a handful more thrusts he let out a low groan when he emptied himself inside her, never diverting his eyes and never stopping his movements until he was completely spent.

Panting for air Will lowered his head for a final kiss before moving off Mac, pulling her with him. „I love you, MacKenzie. I love you so much...“

Mac could only reciprocate his words with a lingering kiss to his chest and sighed. „That was... I missed you so much...“

„Me, too.“ Will pulled her tighter and pressed a kiss into her hair, already beginning to drift off to sleep. „Talk tomorrow...?“

„Mmmh...“ Eyes already closed Mac was only able to hum in agreement. The last weeks had been exhausting and with the rollercoaster of emotions tonight the only thing she wanted to do now, after making love to her _fiancé_ , was to go to sleep and not move out of Will's arms for at least a week.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Mac woke up the next morning she could sense with her eyes closed that broad daylight was falling through the window, in November always an unquestionable sign that she had overslept.  
After the initial, reflexive startle however she remembered that Charlie had given Will and her the day off to 'celebrate' as he had insisted with a cheeky grin. Mac had blushed but hadn't cared; too thankful that she would be able to sleep in the following morning and spend the day with Will. Her _fiancé_...

Her eyes still closed she smiled at the memory of the previous night; never in her wildest dreams had she imagined it to end like this. Engaged... Will and she were actually _engaged_. She would _marry_ the man she had loved for so long and thought she had lost forever.

Finally she decided to open her eyes to confirm that this was real, that it hadn't been a dream and she was really lying in bed with Will.

Yes, there he was, facing her, his arm placed over her waist and still sound asleep.  
Mac's smile deepened and she took the opportunity to just look at him; completely relaxed with his sandy hair, mussed from sleep and their lovemaking the night before.

When she lifted her hand to try to carefully straighten it at least a little she paused when her eyes fell on the gorgeous, but still enormous ring on her finger. Another proof of what had happened, though thinking back to last night she still couldn't really understand how they had gone from her being fired and having a huge fight to him confessing his love and proposing. She knew they had to talk about it, but right now she just wanted to enjoy this new-old closeness between them.

When Will slightly moved in his sleep she could feel him in all his morning glory and spontaneously decided that he had slept long enough for now – and she also knew exactly how she wanted to wake him up.

Carefully she moved down under the thin cover until she faced his erection and tenderly moved her finger along its length. Slowly she added more fingers until her whole hand was leisurely stroking it, and only then she moved in with her mouth. After placing a gentle kiss on its head she moved her hand to the base of Will's cock and used her tongue to lick and circle the head, feeling him getting even harder against her lips.

Continuing her motions she finally felt Will stir, slowly coming out of his sleep, and this was the moment when she took him into her mouth, starting to suck.

She had always loved giving Will head, but only him. In her previous relationships she had never felt the need to do it and when she was asked she only complied reluctantly, always refusing to be deep-throated or to swallow. But with Will it was different. For the first time she understood the meaning of the words 'velvet steel' and she loved the feeling of his shaft sliding over her tongue, its weight as well as his taste, somehow grassy and slightly earthy, so fitting for a Nebraskan farmboy. How much she had missed this during these long years without him.

Slowly she started to take him in deeper, still sucking with hollowed out cheeks, while her hand found his balls and slowly started to roll and squeeze them. By now she could tell that Will's breath had started to quicken and his fingers were twitching. Hearing him groan in his sleep she couldn't help but grin around his dick and she knew from experience that now it was only a matter of seconds until he would wake up, so she intensified her sucking and rolled her tongue around him in between.

Sure enough he groaned again, louder this time, and his eyelids started to flutter. Pulling down the sheet covering her head she looked up at him, never stopping the ministrations of her mouth, and when he started to open his eyes she moved her other hand to rake her fingernails over his stomach.

Will's gaze immediately went down to meet hers and seeing himself being engulfed by Mac's lips the only thing he could do was to let his mouth fall open and blink several times. When the picture in front of him didn't disappear, the feelings of being woken up with an expert blow job when he had thought he was just waking up from an unbelievingly realistic and vivid sex dream were overwhelming him. „Mac... _fuck_...!"

With a low growl he moved his hands to her head and tried to pull her up, but Mac refused to comply and took him in even deeper before letting him slide out of her mouth. Looking up at him she gave him a mischievous grin. „Just enjoy, Billy...“

She knew that Will was aware how much she herself was getting off on doing this, so with him awake she now started in earnest. While her left hand squeezed his balls the other stroked firmly up and down his length several times before she enveloped him with her mouth again.  
This time she was gradually taking him deeper and deeper, only pausing to relax her jaw muscles and fight her gag reflex before sliding him in completely.

„Fuck...!“ Will moaned, not believing that Mac would actually wake him up with a fucking blow job and then even deep throat him. Seeing how long it had been since the last time they had been together like this, he wanted to at least let her keep control, but she had other plans.  
Planting her free hand on his still resting on her head she put more pressure on it, encouraging Will to guide her head the way he wanted to.  
He was trying to ask her if she was sure, but again the only words he got out were _„Fuck, Mac...“_ which were answered by a deep moan of hers.

Okay, so she obviously still enjoyed doing this, and realizing that Will tried to relax his fingers before gently holding her head in place and shallowly starting to thrust his hips upwards. Again he moaned at the feeling of his cock moving in the wet, tight warmth, slowly entering her deeper until he was fully sheathed.

Pulling back to enable her to breath he pushed in again, feeling her muscles moving along his length as she swallowed around him. He was panting now and sweat was gathering on his forehead from the effort of holding back, but Mac had done such a brilliant job while he had still been asleep that he could already feel his balls tighten and knew he was close.

„Mac... I'm...“ Hearing his strained voice and feeling his muscles tense she knew what was about to happen and gazed up at him. Blinking her consent she dug her fingers into his hips at the same time to keep him from pulling out completely. Not having any control anymore Will thrust up into her mouth two, three more times, feeling her teeth gently raking over the skin of his cock, before pulling back a little and spurting into her with Mac swallowing every single drop.

Finally he was finished and loosened his grip on her head, and she slowly let him slide out of her mouth. Letting his head fall back into the pillows he tried to catch his breath, still not believing that Mac would wake him up this way. Oh, she surely had done that before, but he was still working on getting his head around the fact that they were back together, _hell_ , that they were _engaged_ , and he hadn't expected anything close to this on their first morning.

When Mac's face appeared in front of his it was sporting a smug, sassy grin and her eyes were sparkling in a way he hadn't seen in a long time. „Good morning, Billy.“

„You can say that.“ Will sighed breathlessly, still recovering and with glazed over eyes. „God, I love you, Mac!“

Her grin got wider. „You better, I wouldn't do this for just anybody.“

Will just raised his hand to put it on the back of her head and pull her in for a long kiss, still able to taste himself in her mouth. After a while Mac broke the kiss with a contented sigh and snuggled into his side, putting her arm around his waist and pressing her lips to his skin.

„So... I guess I owe you now?“

„Definitely!“ Mac replied fondly. „But I'll take a rain check... Let's just stay like this for a while...“ Despite everything that had just happened she still had problems believing that she could now openly show her love for Will, and she was wondering, how they got here in the end.

„Billy?“

„Mmmh...?“

„Why did you come over the first time?“

For a second Will was confused. „You mean all those months ago, when you asked for a 'cup of Joe' the first time?“ Feeling Mac nod against his chest he sighed and took a moment to gather his thoughts before he started to speak, this was much too important to mess up.  
„I had told myself that I only wanted to help you out... But then later I realized that I had only been able to do that because I had never stopped loving you... Well, I actually knew _that_ before, but if hadn't still been in love with you it would never have worked. And the thought of being this close to you again, have this amazing sex... I just couldn't say no...“

„Thank God...“ Tilting her head she looked at him with a grateful smile while absently drawing patterns on his chest.. „But why didn't you ever say anything?“

Letting his fingers run through her hair he couldn't hold her gaze and looked up at the ceiling instead before going on with another sigh. „Later I'd also found that I had forgiven you. Don't ask me how or when, I really don't know... I just know I have...“ Will paused for a second, but then he continued quietly. „But I still couldn't say anything. Just as I couldn't tell you that I missed you. And I did miss you, you know? Not only when you were in London, also before.“

A sad smile showed on Mac's face. „I know... I just wish you would have said it...“

„I wanted to, but I was too afraid to get hurt again...“

„Me, too...“ she whispered. „And I don't blame you... I didn't tell you how I felt either...“ After a short pause she took a deep breath. „I really needed it back then, you know, that wasn't a lie... I only had the courage to ask you because I was sure you didn't have any feelings for me anymore. But I knew that you were still attracted to me, and there was nobody I trusted more, so I thought I can just ask you for what I need and you could have a good time....Two birds with one stone, so to speak... I'm sorry...“

Will quietly laughed, but Mac noticed it through the vibrations of his chest and pinched him lightly. „I'm serious, I felt so bad afterwards for using you and I swore to myself that I would never ask you again.“

„A promise you luckily broke...“ He tightened his grip around her shoulder for a moment. „Seriously Mac, don't apologize. Who knows where we would be today if you hadn't asked me that night?“

For a while neither of them said anything, both being content to finally be in each others arms again and their feelings being out in the open. Completely relaxed Will was about to drift off again when he felt Mac prod him in the chest.

„Will? Why now?“

Drowsy as he was he wasn't sure what she was talking about and could only ask „Why what now?“

„Don't fall asleep on me... Why did you propose so suddenly? I mean, a few hours earlier you had fired me! Was it just that you were afraid you'd never see me again?“

Will shook his head. „No, Charly had told me already we weren't going to resign before I... well, stumbled through the proposal. And I knew my firing you wouldn't stick, it wasn't Friday...“ He grinned a little sheepishly. „You've told me some things last night that I needed to hear. I had forgiven you a long time ago, but I always questioned if I could trust you again. And then last night you showed me it's the other way around. _I've_ put you through so much shit that I couldn't have been surprised if _you_ hadn't been able to trust _me_ anymore... But you've stayed through all of it – _Thank God_ \- and I was so fucking afraid that I'd messed it all up again in the hair  & make-up room, that I had lost you for good...“

„Never... You'll never lose me.“ Repeating her promise she had already given him the night before Mac gave him a tender kiss and stroked his cheek. „And I've wounded you so badly... I won't deny that it hurt , but I deserved most of what you did... “

„You did not...!“ Will protested. „Maybe..., you hear? _Maybe_ I had the right for a little payback, but I went completely overboard and I am so, so sorry...Can you forgive me?“

„I have, Billy, I really have... But there is one more thing...“ Mac hesitated, but she knew that they had to talk about it, or it would always be the 800 lb. gorilla in the room, so she took a deep breath. „Do we need to talk about Brian?“

Will pressed a kiss into her hair and let his hand run down her arm to envelope her hand and squeezed it. „No, I don't care anymore... I have forgiven you and you say that you have forgiven me for all the crap I have pulled on you... And you agreed to marry me, so all I need to know is that it won't happen again...“

At this Mac cupped his cheek with her hand, the look in her eyes as serious as it could possibly be. „Look at me, Will... For the past six years all I wanted was to be here with you. I love you and I will _never_ risk losing you again. And why should I? You're all I ever wanted, I was just too stupid to realize that before. I don't want him back, I don't want revenge for dumping me, I just want you...“

Will looked at her for a moment, searching her face for any sign that would contradict her words, but all he could see was pure love and happiness and the affectionate smile she gave him. „Come here....“

Pulling her in for a kiss he closed his eyes to allow himself to be completely taken up in her and her love. Starting out tenderly he slowly deepened the kiss, trying to put all his feelings for her into it. Burying his fingers in Mac's hair he let his tongue delve deeply into her mouth and was only forced to retreat by the lack of air in his lungs.

Panting he pressed his forehead against hers. „I love you, Mac...“  
The breathless smile that showed on her face mesmerized Will and all he could do was to return it, his eyes fixed on hers.

„I love you, too, Billy..." Suddenly Mac frowned. „Oh God, I have to call my mother and tell her before she finds out any other way. She'll be so thrilled!“

Will let his fingers slide through her hair, suddenly feeling slightly uncomfortable. „Did you talk about... us when you were in London?

Mac looked at him unbelievingly. „And tell her what? That I was fucking you without the prospect of it leading anywhere?“

„You know that's not what it was, MacKenzie...“

Bracing herself on her arm she looked down at him. „I knew that's not what it was for _me_ , but I honestly didn't know about you... I was hoping, but...“

„I thought you only wanted sex... That's why I was so afraid to get hurt again...“ Will admitted quietly, averting his eyes.

„Oh Billy...“ Mac sighed, but then she chuckled and put her hand on his cheek to force him to look at her. „I'm tempted to say that you're an idiot, but I was actually thinking the same about you... We're really the perfect couple...“ She rolled her eyes, but softened her words with a tender smile and her finger tracing his lips, which suddenly turned into a wide grin.

„What now?“

Will couldn't completely hide the surprise in his voice when he vocalized the thought that had just made him smile. „You're going to marry me...“

Mac returned his grin. „I did say yes, didn't I?“

„And don't you forget that...“

„Never... I'd marry you today, if that was possible...“ She looked at him fondly, but then she smirked. „Only for your money, of course. _And_ your Mac  & Cheese...“

Before she could even blink Will had turned her over on her back, causing her to shriek in surprise. Covering her his right leg slid between hers and he settled on top of her. „I'll take it!“ he growled and silenced Mac's bout of laughter with a hard kiss. „You're _mine_!“

Suddenly the playful mood from a second ago was gone and it was all heat and passion. Feeling his tongue requesting entrance Mac let out a breathy sigh, strangely aroused by his possessive streak, and twined her fingers with his hair to keep him close. Grinding her hips up into him she whispered against his lips. „I think I'd like to cash in that rain check now...“

Groaning Will covered her mouth again and slid his tongue alongside hers, while his hand went down to her thigh to place her leg around his waist. Never breaking the kiss he started to slowly rock against her until she let out a desperate moan. „God, Billy... Get down there, will you?“

This time it was his turn to grin smugly, and after a last kiss he moved his lips down along her neck to her chest, taking the time to shower her breasts with attention. While teasing one nipple with his tongue he slightly pinched and pulled at the other until Mac gasped loudly and arched her back to press herself into him. „Jesus, that feels _so_ good,...“

Smiling against her skin he switched his mouth to her other mound for a short moment, but with a final swipe of his tongue he let go. However, before lowering himself down alongside her body he did not forget to send a puff of air over her wet nipple in retaliation to her earlier torture, and sure enough Mac caught her breath and helplessly writhed underneath him.

After placing a row of kisses to her scar, which seemed to have become a _thing_ for him to never let himself forget how close he had come to losing Mac for good, he settled completely between her legs and placed soft kisses onto her inner thighs and hips, carefully avoiding the area he knew she wanted to feel him most.

Encouraged by her reactions, a string of low, constant moans and an occasional profanity in between, he finally grabbed her ass cheeks to pull her closer towards him and tentatively let his tongue run through her folds just once. When she involuntarily bucked her hips up into his face and let out another deep groan he looked up and whispered hoarsely „Play with yourself...“

It took a moment for his words to reach her brain, but then she willingly moved her hands from his shoulders to cup herself, slowly circling her fingers around her hardened nipples and then massaging her breasts.  
Not taking his eyes from this spectacular and incredibly arousing sight in front of him Will lowered his head to her folds and started to lightly tap his tongue against her clit, eliciting a long-drawn-out mewl from her which turned into an actual whine when he closed his lips around her.

„Will, _please_...!“

Humming in response the vibrations this caused travelled right down to her nub and left Mac helpless to her body's reactions. The only thing she could do was to throw her head from left to right and close her legs around Will's head at the same time to not let him pull back.

Not having any intention of stopping his ministrations soon Will replaced his lips and tongue on her clit with his thumb and moved to lick through her folds, savoring the deliciously tangy taste of her wetness. Inserting a finger into her opening he immediately started to push it deep inside and repeatedly curled it against the rough patch, causing her to writhe uncontrollably above him.  
Lowering her legs and splaying them wide she now moved her hands to his head and pulled him away from her, heavily panting. „Come... up here... I need you...“

Before he followed her order he dipped his head once more to quickly suck on her clit one last time. Then he withdrew his finger and kissed his way up her body, again pressing a quick kiss to her scar and to her now flushed chest until they were finally face to face, hers exactly showing him the state she was in. „Was that about what you were looking for when cashing in your rain check?“

„Fuck yes!“ Mac gasped. „But now I want you inside me...“  
 While speaking she let her hand slide down his back and then along his hip to the front, where she slowly stroked his throbbing cock a couple of times before lining him up at her entrance, raising her hips. „Please, Will!“

Without further ado he started pressing into her and captured her lips in a passionate kiss, swallowing all sounds he knew from experience she was proned to let out when being filled completely. Once he was fully sheathed by her he gave her a second to adjust and broke the kiss to smile down at her, breathing heavily from the control he exercised to not start to thrust into her instantaneously.

Her gaze never left his eyes, and with her lower lip between her teeth to hold back her moans she gave him a confirming nod, encouraging him to slowly start moving inside her. After a few experimental strokes he settled in a rhythm that caused him to let out a long, deep groan and also seemed to do it for Mac at the same time.

God, she was so wet but still so tight that the friction inflamed him more and more with every thrust. He buried his head in her neck, unconsciously sucking on her sensitive skin, and revelled in the feeling of being inside her, of her hands on his back and these incredibly sexy sounds she was making.

Mac felt like she had gone straight to heaven and had to reassure herself that she was still here, with Will, that she was really feeling the muscles on his back rippling under the touch of her fingers and his delicious weight on top of her.

She moaned wildly now and let her hands trail down to his ass to push him even further into her. „Harder, Billy.... I need.... fuck, harder!“

„God, Mac... !“ Feverishly Will picked up speed and drove into her harder and deeper, feeling her muscles around him already fluttering. Every time he pushed into her she whimpered a little louder, spurring him on even more, and when he started to rub her clit with his thumb he felt her inner walls starting to clench down on his shaft.

When she finally cried out his name he lost it and all he could do was to pound into her as hard as humanly possible, over and over again, until he followed her over the edge with a loud, feral roar and spilled himself inside her.

After a last couple, rather sloppy thrusts Will fell down on Mac, searching for air and barely supporting himself on his elbows to not crush her with his weight. Burying his face in the crook of her neck it took a while until he had gained at least a little control over himself again, but then he gasped „Okay... okay... If you want it... you'll get the... Mac & Cheese recipe... as a wedding present...“

At this Mac giggled, still out of breath. „I rather not... What would I need you for then?“

Will retaliated by gently biting her collarbone. „If you hadn't just almost killed me I would show you...“

Moving her hands up his back again she let her fingers slide into his hair and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. „I love you so much, Billy...“

„Right back at ya...“ Will mumbled, feeling completely exhausted, and with the last shred of energy he forced himself to roll off his fiancée and pull her with him.

Huddling up to him they were both quiet for a while, again trying to get their heads around what had happened in the last twelve hours. Finally Will took a deep breath and quietly mumbled into her hair. „I could get used to this, you know?“

Mac moved her head to look at him, a teasing sparkle in her eyes. „To what? Fucking me senseless?“

Pressing a kiss to her temple Will took her hand to play with her fingers. „That, too... But I meant spending all day in bed with you.“

„Mmmh, me too...“ She snuggled into his side again. „I'm feeling so relaxed right now... Do I still look like I've been grown in an environment where it's dark and damp?“

„Actually, you do...“ This answer earned him a slightly hurtful punch to his shoulder which made him chuckle. „Still, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in real life... No, wait, I rescind that statement... You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, period.“

At this Mac's face went soft and she moved up for a kiss, before giving him a wink. „Good save...“  
Right this moment her stomach brought itself to mind with a long and insistent rumble. „...And if you want me to ever get back into a state where my sheer beauty is blinding you, you should probably feed me pretty soon...“

Now Will laughed out loud and cradled her in his arms again. „I think I can do that, just give me a minute.. And just for the record: You could go bold and grow warts in all kinds of places and would still be beautiful to me.“

Being rewarded with a lingering kiss for these words he couldn't help but think that he had almost forgotten how satisfying sex with a partner could be who knew you inside out and vice versa. Who didn't leave her brain at the door but still didn't take everything so dead serious, which was a big part of what made it more than just sex.

And it had always been like this with Mac, a hymn to the coalescence of body and mind. His and hers and both of them together, and every attempt to forget her by sleeping with other women had been doomed to failure from the beginning.

There could never be another woman for him but her, and now they were here again, together, and they would be for the rest of their lives.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it!  
> I'm tempted to say 'finally', but I'm actually sad to see this end. It has been a lot of fun writing it and seeing your reactions.
> 
> Thank you for all your amazing comments and the thoughts you put into this story!  
> So... If my little additions and alterations pop up in your mind while watching season 2 and especially the finale... My work is done... ;-) *kidding*
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story and also this last chapter and as always your comments are greatly appreciated!


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't quite ready to let this go, so here a short fluffy-smutty epilogue - i hope you enjoy it!

**Epilogue  
**

„I'm glad that it's Saturday today...“ Mac practically purred these words into Will's ear.

„Why's that?“ Will was panting, still recovering from their early-morning lovemaking that had culminated in an overhwelming climax for the both of them a moment ago. He felt her smirk against his skin while she moved her head down to nip at his neck.

„Because I plan on spending the whole day in bed with you.“

„You do, eh? What if I... Hey!“ He gasped when he felt her hand moving along his chest and further down until it found his cock, still softening after just having completed its second round since they had woken up not even an hour ago.

„Mac, it's not that I haven't dreamed about this while I was in jail, but I do need some recovery time in between. You didn't marry an olympic champion in his prime, you know“ Gently Will removed Mac's hand from where she was touching him and lifted it to his mouth for a soft kiss, giving her an amused grin when he saw her pout.  
„ _Come on_ , two times last night and twice this morning already, that's not so bad for a guy my age.“

Mac grinned lewdly. „Oh, I've certainly never had any reason to complain about your prowess in _that_ department, Billy, believe me, but I'm afraid...“ She let her finger teasingly run down his torso again. „...we've just entered that part of my pregnany where I'm horny like hell...“

Will's eyes shot open wide. „I've heard about that, but I always thought that was a myth?“

„Not according to my body, _loverboy_. So...“ She moved down to press hot kisses to his chest and circle his nipples with her tongue. „...what is it going to take to get our little friend down there going again?“

Will chuckled. How he loved his wife and her sexual stamina! And if her hormones were now really going to increase it even more, then they had some very... _interesting_ times ahead of them...  
However, for now he pulled her up so that he could look into her eyes.  
„Why don't you let me help you out right down there where you need it?“ With a wink he gently kissed her before moving down her body, his mouth lingering over her breasts while his left hand trailed further to cup her between her thighs.

Letting out an involuntary moan Mac splayed her legs wider to grant him better access and arched her chest into him while her hands found purchase in his hair. „I'd fucking love that... _Oh God, Billy!_ “

Caressing a nipple with his tongue one of his fingers had entered her without any foreplay, exploiting the wetness he found there that still resulted from their previous activities. „You're so fucking sexy, MacKenzie...“

Trailing his lips further along her body he pressed the obligatory kiss to the scar on her stomach, always reverently, never casually, before his mouth joined his hand and he slid his tongue through her folds.

With every touch Mac's moans got louder and it didn't take much before Will felt her inner muscles starting to contract. Taking her clit between his lips he shortly grazed it with his teeth before sucking on it vigourously, eliciting a sharp cry from his wife. With a slight twist of his finger against her g-spot she came tumbling down, her hips bucking uncontrollably and her fingers pulling on his hair.

Her third orgasm within an hour was short but intense, and Will slowly brought her down from her high, pressing gentle kisses to the soft skin of her inner thighs before carefully removing his finger from inside her.  
Moving up again he placed one hand on the still twitching muscles of her stomach to calm her down while looking into her face, marvelling once more that it was him who could make her come so completely undone.

When her breathing had slowed down a little and she managed to open her eyes he grinned at her. „So, should I start on stocking some Viagra?“

„Oh, so far...“, Mac 's voice was still trembling slightly and she pulled him in for a thankful kiss. „...you're doing just fine, believe me...“

::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

Mac had made good on her threat and except for a hearty breakfast as well as a shower, during which Will had once more proven how capable his hands and tongue were, they had spent the whole day in bed.

By late afternoon Will was exhausted and, still recovering from round four in addition to some more finger exercises, about to drift off with Mac leaning against his chest, when he suddenly heard her curse.

„ _Damn!“_

„What's wrong?“ He struggled to open his eyes to look at her and his speech was slightly slurred.

„How am I gonna ask you for a cup of Joe at work? Everybody will think I'm crazy, asking for coffee when I'm pregnant!“

„Mmmh.... I'll get you a vibrator...“ Too tired Will didn't manage to come up with a better reply and was rewarded with a slap to his arm.

„I'm serious, Billy! If I'll continue to be this randy we have to find some way to get you up to my office during the day!“

Will chuckled weakly. „Don't forget that I actually have to prepare a show... But don't worry, just send me a text and I'll come up as soon as I can, promise...“

„What if anybody sees it?“

She had a point, his phone often lay on a table or someone was standing next to him while he was checking his messages, and just an accidental glance could lead to some questions better not asked.

„Then don't ask for a _'cup of Joe'_ but just _'Joe'_. Ask if I have heard from him or tell me that Joe wants to see me.“

Mac contemplated this suggestion for a moment. „That could actually work. And if somebody asks, Joe is an old friend.“

„Yours or mine?“ Will was so tired by now that he wasn't even capable of moving his lips while speaking, and Mac leaned in to give him a soft kiss to his cheek.

„Ours. And now sleep, I might need your services again later...“

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes - That's it for real!
> 
> Schluß, aus, Ende!  
> Enough! Fin! Basta!


End file.
